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when our mind is full of great ideas
we want to write them down
yet there are times when we  discover
that there is no connection from our brain
to all the instruments we use
to transcribe our flighty thoughts
    to give them shape on paper, screen, or in the sand

sometimes it helps to pause a bit and reconsider
what we do really want to say  
    focus and concentrate
    articulate precisely yet suggestively
our indomitable urge to formulate
    the turmoil of emotions we may harbor
    our wild ideas of revolution
    the overbearing pain of loss and separation
    grey landscapes of depression
    attractions of dramatic suicide
also the joy and pleasures of deep love
    of unexpected friendships found
        where even angels fear to tread
    the happiness of our children
    the love we recognize
        often too late
    our parents have bestowed on us

et cetera  et cetera

the catalogue of our themes
expands through our lives
so do the challenges
of how to tell the tale

it helps to aim for clarity
we have to  let our instruments of writing know
which of our turbulently swirling thoughts
should earn the privilege
to become words
    and be communicated
to people who
    before they read our verse
have no idea at all
    that we exist
 Feb 2016 Pamela Penta
Rapunzoll
i swirl in van gogh.
i am charcoal stains
on blue,
a smile of barbed wire
for the painter,
i am mona lisa, true.

monet, he paints me
calm waters,
water lilies floating
in solitude,
he doesn't see
the fire sprouting
in my veins.

picasso cannot stain
my heart with colour,
magritte cannot
create a masterpiece
out of my eyes.

to be immortalized
i beg in pink
lick the brush
and paint myself
alive.

end my days
in escher,
sketch myself
out of the stairway,
into the globe.

throw myself
at deaths eye,
kiss the canvas
rotten, ******,
*pretty.
© copyright
 Feb 2016 Pamela Penta
Rapunzoll
we take long drags
of each others skin,
the addiction comes
in phases.
day 1: my lungs sigh, weary,
air does not satisfy,
day 2: we're chasing
lifelines, that are rusted
and in vain
day 5: bad habits are
hard to break, beg, at the
holy altar of our mistakes
day 8: hands desperate,
clammy, unfurl
like belladonna palms.
day 9: i hope your
vocal cords strain, that
the only word you can
bear to say is 'stay'.
day 11: last breaths
muffled in the
graveyard of a kiss.
day 17: darling, i'm
losing track of time
day 28: i'm finding it
a little bit hard to quit.
© copyright
 Feb 2016 Pamela Penta
Rapunzoll
Sunday morning,
the air froze, the dahlias
once bloomed angry,
now they shiver and sigh.

Autumn breeze, faint but still,
the padded ghost-steps
of your laugh, running wild,
like vintage photographs;
scattered Polaroids of
my memory - a smile here,
a grimace there.

How the heat of
emotions buries itself
in the clothes of yesterday,
How difficult it is to
fetch from the seams.
The needles only *****
at a faint feeling.

I wonder; do you forget me
as winter forgets the living?

Because once an old man
told me I had sad eyes

Sunsets melt to chalky lines,
like cigarette stubs, they died
when you met her.

These days only my fingers
remember summer,
I touch the hearts of others
to warm them too.

My voice wind chimes,
the eulogy of the storm,
when I breath your
name I shudder...

And listen-
because I am in
the echoes
of her, of us.
© copyright
 Feb 2016 Pamela Penta
Sarah
I've been trying to talk
to my heart,
lately
not in a "listen to your heart" BS
kind of way

but like
we're almost friends,
pals,
someone I sort of know, who knows not
that
I'm always afraid

sometimes I sit
on my bed,
in the sheets,
and I listen to the naked
words of everything
my heart might want
to say to me
and I try
to start a conver-
sation-
"hey, whatcha up to? Is there something that I
need to know? Why don't you listen to me? Can you not
hear me like
I cannot hear you?"

that there's nothing,
or there's me,
maybe it's just me.

I want to know the secrets
of
knowing when your
soul is talking
and knowing when you're
full of **** and hoping for
an answer just
like me.
 Feb 2016 Pamela Penta
Milady K
You used to turn my cheeks so red i swear they could burn right through my skin and set fire to us both.

And we would sit and watch as our words went up in smoke.
I've heard people say countless times that Valentine's Day isn't easy for everyone

referring of course to the single people out there

but my name was never mentioned regardless of my relationship status,

because I was a special situation

three years ago to the day, my mother committed suicide

three long and somehow short years ago my mother took both her life, and a good chunk of mine

no chocolates

flowers

cards

or "I'm sorry"

can make me have a Happy Valentine's Day

on days filled with roses and kisses,

my day will be filled with sobs of regret and glimpses of similarities in mine and my mother's situation,

the desire for everything to stand still

on days filled with romance and anticipation you can find me trying my best to stay distracted, and failing at it one hundred percent.

on days of love, you can find me wishing for death.
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