Death is a cruel lover

for he cheats on me
with the people closest to me

I just smile, and the silence was the answer when you left.

There was a time,
I am in profound idea of you,
That I never mind around me,
Though you were beside me.
There was time,
I wished to be loved by you,
Even if you told me that you loved me
It made me believe that its true
There was a time,
I can see me in your eyes,
But not in your heart

Sometimes as a poet
It is easier to write
And relate to the things that hurt

Because the heart knows
What it means
To feel -- beautifully terrible

living:

1.) the kindest thing i’ve ever done
for all the ones i love

2.) the best thing i’ve ever done
for myself

3.) the opportunity
to be alive and actually live;
to live and feel alive

I had my first dream last night that you weren't in.
not even a minor character,
your ****** name wasn't even in the credits,
let alone plastered across the sky in flashing lights
like you want it to be.
my first reality that you didn't belong in,
and it was the most blissful peace that I can remember since we bathed in pools of cloud.

I heard the first song that didn't make me think of you yesterday.
the lyrics, for once, were just lyrics,
not an embodiment of you and the things you do.
guess what?
it was coldplay.
you always hated coldplay.

this morning, I basked in the sun and didn't picture you coated in gold light beside me.
I didn't look at the leaves adorning the trees and picture your face laughing beneath it.

I didn't trace the plate lines of my palm and imagine the earthquake we used to create when yours collided with mine.

I didn't eat new food that I wanted you to try and I didn't want to share the smallest details of my day with you.

you may have won this poem, loverboy,
but don't be too triumphant.
your victory won't last long.
it's the era of my new beginnings without you and I'm going to be just fine.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.