I am so sick of being that girl
The one who sits awkwardly
Tries not to show too much on my face
But here I am
I watch all around as people
Stare
Judge each other
And it isn’t even me that I am tearing the roots out of my faith in humanity over
I watch
And I listen
And all I perceive is laughter
“Oh my gosh that was totes hilarious”
No.
It wasn’t.
Those people you laugh at…
People of Wal-Mart
That crazy chick
The person at the end of all of your jokes
Harmless as they seem
Those people are people too
They have people who love them
Loved ones losing them to the horrors of the person that you force them to see in the mirror each day
Each breath
Rigid and Choked
Trying to be the person on the inside
“Only inner beauty matters…”
Then why won’t you let them be more than
The punch line.
I know
It’s harmless
Everyone laughs
It’s funny
And everybody laughing
And joking
And smiling
As they look past your soul
Just searching for a witty response
Instead of a human being
It isn’t harmless.
If I fall
And I can’t even breathe
I can’t even tell who I am
And no one is around to hear my cries for help
No one hears…
Do I still exist?
People stop wanting to exist when they feel like their life doesn’t exist.
I’ve been there before
So
Just stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Just stop.
Think for a second.
What if that was you?
What if it was your best friend?
Your everything?
And their existence is laughed off.
Until it shrivels and dies.
No more growth.
Not ever.
We are walking uphill through a snowstorm of meaningless arrows
Poison soaking the tips
And I can’t fight them forever.
So please.
Somebody help.
And even though you may finally hear my cries
And cry with me
You keep on shooting
Not even thinking
Because it is only natural now.
Please.
Think.
Stop.
Think.
Let me go.
Let everyone try to figure out who they are
What they want to be
Without pushing waves of stereotypes
And laughing at their dreams
Scoffing their entire existence away
I feel like the entire world tries to laugh at life. To brush it off like it is meaningless, because that is easier. Life seems more fun that way. But what people don't realize, is at the punch line of every joke, there is another person. No one wants to be a joke. I'm so sick of watching people struggle. Life is hard enough without people hurling your own mistakes and flaws into your face.