I miss your smile
The  way you made me feel
You, the invincible brother
Me, your faithful sidekick

Why is a question I have asked
Over and over again
It has been 9 years
Without you

So much you have missed
I think about you daily
Wishing you were here

I want to hear your laugh
I want you to come ruffle my hair

You were taken too soon
It is not fair that I am here, alone

I miss you,  Jimmy!

I
am  lost
struggling
emotionally
Life is more than
I can currently handle
Nobody understands
the inner workings
of my mind
hurting
tired
me

I am such a walking mess, do not know what to think, where to turn who can I trust, who should I trust, who is real, am I even real, how to make this all stop spinning and just make sense. You say you understand and I believe that you really do want to understand but  you do no get how my mind processes thoughts, emotions, frustrations..

I have struggled for too long, I do not know another way, I try to learn, to follow your examples, to try it your way but  my mind cannot get it.

I have tried and now I am body, mind, and soul depleted.