Love is seeing you in the bottom of my coffee,
It's feeling a cigarette burn into my skin,
It's hearing your voice cracking in the branches of my trees,
It's watching the moon turn red in April and not being able to focus on the stars anymore,
It's staring into my drawers, feeling my fingernails scratching the wood looking for change,
Its licking a lit match,
And finding a golden dollar in your backyard under the sandbox,
It's getting in a car crash at 60 mph on a congested highway and never being able to drive again without thinking about hitting a concrete wall,
It's holding your ******* hand and your cold skin and knowing it has nothing but warmth underneath,
And its wanting to die before I hit thirty.
It's burning, it's certain, and it's haunting.
I'll never be without that.

That small man who always sang
That small man who danced in my head
That small man with youth
Undid his shoelaces
And broke all the barracks of the festival
Suddenly everything collapsed
And in the silence of the festival
In the ruin of the festival
I heard your happy voice
Your voice so torn and fragile
Innocent and desolate
Came from afar and called me
And I put my hands on my chest
where they trembled ******
Seven broken pieces of mirror
with your twinkling smile

I'm leaving today
But I'm not leaving for good
Space is the only thing I have to give
To show my love for you

For you
I would paint the trees purple
I would teach the birds to sing your name
I would make the rivers flow backwards
And make mountains curl and wave
I would set fire under ocean waters
And bring the fiercest animals to a calm still
Make lies of the things you once thought we true
Just to show you a new world

But my artistic devices have become depleted
And I'm left naked and ashamed
So I'll leave for this quest
For me to reclaim my own name

Twenty nine times I said I loved you
Twenty nine times I said I cared
Twenty nine days I waited
Just for you to reappear

From the dark depths
That calls you home
An everlasting engulfment
That I could never know

Twenty nine dots
We counted everyone
Twenty nine reasons
You wish they were all gone

I wish I could have been your savior
I wish I could have been the one
That could show you beautiful mercy
From a life that has gone all wrong

Twenty nine day dreams
Of your beauty and love
And that you would come back
And hold me in your black-veined arms

Don't be so quiet
Please don't you hide
Twenty nine days of solitude
For both you and I

My day dreams turned nightmares
Of how you could be there
On the floor of your bedroom
Eyes glazed and mouth open

Twenty nine needles spoke vicious lies

If you complain than they'll just hold you back
If you go crazy than they'll just laugh
It's empathy that they lack
A normal need that holds you back
It's easy for them to call you selfish
If you wont bend to their will
They'll imprison you in pointless arguments
That gives them some kind of sick thrill
But you've got your future fixed
That no one can bend or break
A small metal ticket
That will rapture you from this place
So you'll forget this cruel
And you'll just slip away
Unwanted and unneeded
Just like it's always felt
You looked me into the eye and I just looked away
I didn't have the time or strength to save you from your pain
So you've made your agreements
That you are a disappointment
That you are worthless
And that you should just end it

But I love you
I love you

And they labeled you a *****
But I can see a whole lot more
I can see your broken heart
Every time you open up your arms
He just wanted some cheap fun
But you needed someone
To come and save the day
And make everything seem okay
This is the only place you can go
'Cause this is all that you know
Suicidal Cyclone
Media influenced drone

But I love you
I love you

And you think you're clinically depressed
But I think you're romantically suppressed
You don't have to get undressed to impress me

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/no-name

This girl doesn't know who to be
She feels like Cinderella
Locked in a castle with a dragon
She's waiting for her hero
Her mother says she has to be strong
But the weight of the world is bringing her down
Her mother says she can be like the men
But what kind of girl wants to be one

She just wants to be loved
So what are you doing to her
She just wants to be loved
So what are you doing to her

She used to go to her dad
And ask if she was beautiful
But now that power line is dead
Waiting for someone to pick it up
She's given her love in desperate attempt
To boys who pose as men
They'll tell her she's beautiful
And leave her broken again

She just wants to feel beautiful
So what are you doing to her
She just wants to feel beautiful
So what are you doing to her

Where you gonna go
With all that love
That no one knows
Where you gonna go
With all that love

What about the girl who's worth was stolen by lust
One man's deceit has broken all her trust now
She hides in the bedroom
Waiting for the pain to go
She feels completely worthless
And no one will ever know

She just wants to feel worthy
So what are you doing to her
She just wants to feel worthy
So what are you doing to her

What about the girl who's life is covered by shame
Who's heart is held back by a wound that opens everyday
Some girls run away, some girls have to hide
They think they'll never be loved with all the pain they have inside

She doesn't need a pervert
She needs someone strong
To tell her that he loves her
As he holds her in his arms

And Satan was the angel of morning
Covered in shining glory
He thought he should be king
So his beauty was taken in defeat
Now he goes around destroying anything beautiful
Like a selfish pre-teen girl in middle school
Satan attacked eve
'Cause he was raged in jealousy

So don't worry, It's not because you deserve it
It's only because someone's jealous
Don't worry, it's not because you're worthless
It's only because you're glorious

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/for-all-the-ladies

You weave in and out of my life
Like silk
in the palm of my hand.

You stay for a while
Then leave right when I need you.

You possess me with your words and your lies.
You caress me gently with your whispers
You vowel that you'll never forget me.

I know it's a lie.

You've said that too many times before.
And I won't fall for it again.

I've got you this time.
I hold you in my own hands now.
Not the other way around,
like how it was back then.

I will crush your dreams
Like you did to me.

Watch you fall
Numb
On to the floor.

See you weep.
And it'll give me a sense of freedom.

You've given me nothing but hate.
So I'm only returning the favour.

Watch the lights go out from my eyes.
I have no sympathy for you
You turned my heart to stone.
You broke me.

And I changed my life.

Im like a dog chasing cars,
I'll never know what to do with it when i caught up with one.

Time to shatter my current self.
Expose the feelings hiding within.
Bring months of rain, a monsoon
as I peel off my skin. Bare and naked
sadness for the world to witness.
I bleed, a martyr of my faith
that all is equal and all get their fair share
of pain. Some more than others
some which can not be justified underneath the face of the sun
or the scarred side of the moon. The strength and endurance found in bonds shared by red blood flowing in all our veins. I peel, cry and peel, I am tortured, I am enduring, I am struggling, I am living, I am dying, I am burning and the flame of hurt is doused by the rain of my sadness.
I am not guilty, yet I am accepting and acknowledging the impact your blow had in my sense of righteosness and my perception, which caused a switch in my  reality.  My loss of perception and perspective allowed me to redefine my understanding of equality, love and loyalty. For that I am gratefull, it has made me stronger and it has made me wiser. So know I am breaking so I can love.
I can see the sun shine beneath my own clouds and sadness. I can see the sun shine beneath my own chin and I can feel the sun's warmth beating in my chest. The moon symbolizing my sadness and negative emotions. It's mysteries waiting to be discovered, waiting to be unlocked, waiting to be freed. Just wanting to sigh with the feeling of purest relief. I am joyfully dancing in the rain, crying and in pain yet smiling and entertained.

Als de dag je brengt
Waar je zelf nooit zou komen
En de nacht je geeft
Wat je nog nooit is gebeurd
Als je weg zich mengt
Met verzwegen dromen
Voel je dat je leeft
En buiten de lijntjes kleurt