"You know what the sun looks like?"

"No, What?"

"Like he slit his wrists in a bathtub and the blood is all over the water."

"That's gross, Kaye."

"And the moon is just watching. She's just watching him die. She must have driven him to it."


I was driving to work
And this quote invaded my mind
Along with an image of you sitting on the beach.

I haven't thought about you in a while.
Now I cannot decide
Which one of us is the sun,
And which one of us is the moon.

"Use your words" you tell me, in an age where words are like cockroaches, invincible against time and indestructible once uttered.

What if I told you, when I look at your face I don't see words. The letters and syllables that love to flow out of me and fill every empty silence suddenly don't fit right in the space between us. You and words are like oil and water, not meant to share the same bowl and only used by those too impatient to wait to let their *** boil.

That's the thing with words and oil, once spilled you never really seem to clean every trace left behind. A greasy film coats the surface no matter how much water intends to purify it.  

But I can wait.

I know there is no rushing the tide while you wait on the shore the same way painting you with oily words won't hasten our journey. The heat of silence fits you so comfortably that I can't help but reach towards the fire when you say to me,

"use your words."

"Want to know a secret
Just between you and I?
I am not really living my life
just patiently waiting to die..."*
But I never got an answer
when I sincerely asked her, "Why?"
###

When I look in the mirror
I dont see me
I see her.
The me I loved is gone and she is here
to stay.

The thunder tells the story
Frail laughter and frail glory
Of my mighty love
And my mighty jealousy
Hear the whisper beyond the crack
Of lightning and rain and howling winds
Know the body of whom I long for
Beyond the miles of our division
The distance too great for warmth
For hearts of passion and a wild side
Take me in your arms I plead
Let's see a sunrise wrapped together

Everyone has an addiction
Believe it to be true, or fiction
It could be money or power
Drinking after work at happy hour
New timbs or the new Jordan shoes
**** it, get a couple more tattoos
Everyone does something to get through tough times
You just have to read between the lines
Getting blackout drunk
Over eating junk
Posting on Facebook about your gains
Are you in pain?
Likes on your Gym selfie flexing in the mirror
Are you seeing clearer?
Addicted to attention
Feeling the emotional tension
Everyone has a vice
Had a bad day go by the new Apple device
Maybe shopping helps you get through
Go to the mall when you're feeling blue
Stop at Starbucks, Doubleshot espresso
New makeup pallet, make that face glow
Spend $100 on a pair jeans
It all becomes routine
Ask yourself are you going to the extreme?
As I sit and daydream
Thoughts drifting in my head
What vice will shed?
What am I masking?
The question I'm still asking

We spend so much time
Over analyzing what life
Could be
But we'll never try to make it real
Or live it out physically

But there's only so much time
And no promises for tomorrow
No way to reverse what you could of had
No youth that you can barrow

So many dreams to be lived
But the mind, it holds us back
Never took a risk in life
So much imagination we lack

If only you took a chance
To see what beyond the skies
You'd see then that even YOU, can fly

Don't waste your life dreaming
And later wonder why
So many days you could of spent living
Passed in the blink of an eye

To my most beloved,
my painter, my muse.
My dear Einar,
I love you
as I always have.
How beautiful you are in a dress.
You are the most
beautiful lady,
your beauty surpasses
even mine.
Your scarf around my neck,
how it warms me as you do.
I hope you become who you truly are,
and want to be.
I love you,
my dear Lili.