I had everything that I ever wanted.
But suddenly, everything changed.
My whole world was turned upside down like a sunken ship.
Left on its back like Candy, the adorable puppy dog.
Left on its back like Candy, the adorable *******.
My world was broken like a shattered window.
Left in pieces like this puzzle, once you got tired of playing with it.
Left in pieces like my heart, once you got tired of playing with it.
I wake up every morning having already lost this game called “Life,”
Man, I had everything that I ever wanted.

And lost it all.

Someone please save me because I am drowning.

And the most important thing is:

I don't know how to swim.

It's just another sleepless night,
Of me thinking of you.

And the things I want to do with you.
Do to you.
Do together.

The things I want to show you.

The things I want to give you.

But I've got my hands tied on this one.
My back against a wall.

This is not my dream to come true.

Because I can't even sleep,

With these thoughts of you.

Many people think that when I say:
"Oh, it's alright"
That I'm complaining.
But for me, alright is just that,
Alright.

Not like "alright" get off my back about this or that.
Not like "alright" I reluctantly give into temptation.
Not like "alright" but it could be better.

My life is alright.
And I like it that way, alright?

I’m just writing words
And putting them into lines
So they might just resemble a poem
And you might read them
And relate their meaning to your life.

I’m just writing words
And putting them into lines
So they might just resemble a poem
And you will read them over and over again trying to figure out what they mean.

I’m just writing words
And putting them into lines
So they might just resemble a poem
And you might read them

And say “This poem *****. I have no idea what’s going on.”

Oh, but remember my friend,

This isn’t a poem.

The glory of the warriors has disappeared.
It has vanished like smoke through a keyhole.
Glory goes to the one with the most power.
The warriors are now the ones I pass on my way to the top.
But it is said that those you pass on the way to top are the ones you see again on your way back down.
Trust me, I am no warrior.
But mark my words.
When I climb to the top, I am never coming back down.

There's been a certain darkness surrounding my life as of late.

Did I ask for it? No.

Do I deserve it? Well, that's not for me to decide.

But do I live with it? Yes.

Why? Because days are going to get better.

Someday, somehow.

There's been a certain darkness surrounding my life as of late.

And I've found there's only one thing to do with that darkness:

Shine in it.

I always said that I'd be there in the end.
No matter when that would come, I'd be there.
I looked you deep in the eye and told you that the end would never be unpleasant.
You'd never be alone.
I'd never let go of the rope.

But I did.

Or did you cut it?

Because all I'm doing now is falling.
It's like I'll never reach the end.
I keep seeing these moments etched in the darkness I am plummeting through.
The smiles, the tears, the heartache, the pain.
I see it as it is; it resembles a castle of glass.
With one big crack down the center.
But it stops right in the middle; the location almost symbolic of where a human heart would be stationed.
Around it I see a ring of fire glowing.
Glowing and burning and burning and glowing bright.
It's as if its preserving something delicate.
Something tender.
Like, love.
The love that was extinguished from my very being.

Out of my lungs like someone cut it out.

Like one would cut a rope.

I inch my trembling hand closer to what's inside this ring of fire.
It resembles a note.
I open it, and read what's written.
And in the most delicate,
Tender,
Lovely handwriting I've ever seen,

It reads:

The end.

Hate is such a strong word.

But a weakling like me needs some strength.

If you really did "Love me to death,"

Then why am I the one who was left here for dead?

My muse has left my body.
They must be following the trail of tears.
I've never felt pain like this before.
November 14, 2014 will be a date I will forever hate.
That was the day my mother was taken from this world.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she can no longer feel pain.
But man, the pain I feel right now is unbearable.
And now I have to keep walking this path alone.
And I don't even know the way...

It's really hard to carry the weight of the world.
It's really hard to ask a girl out.
It's really hard to love myself sometimes.
It's really hard to stop this heartache.
It's really hard to be happy with pain.
It's really hard to convey this to people.

Life's just really hard to live sometimes.

Well, aren't you just superior to everyone else?
Well, you act that way.
Well, well, well.
You just make me so mad sometimes.
You sit up there on your high horse and look down upon all of us.
I've traveled with you for years and I thought we were one in the same.
But now I realize this isn't the thing for me.
You left me behind while I was wallowing in my own sadness.
And the worst part is, you tried to act like it was ok.
And the even worse part is, you said it was my fault.
"You wish I would have" is something that will pierce my ears for many years to come.
I guess you'll just wash me away like the ocean.
Well, the ocean is a beautiful thing to see.
Except when it's cold out.
But now you've gone and done it.
And by it I mean moved on.
It's a bitter pill to swallow that after all someone can do and thrive at, that they get dumped to the wayside.
I guess I can use my talents here.
But boy, I could use them some place else, I know for sure.
Go ahead, forget all that I've done.
Forget my past accomplishments.
Forget what I've contributed.
Forget me.
Oh, but it seems you already have.
So have fun.
But don't spend too long "wishing" I'd been there.
I'm too busy wallowing in my own sadness.

My life is a big mess.

And I don't know how to fix it.

Sad again.
Cried again.
Clawed again.
Thought again.
Slept again.
Hated myself again.
Pain again.
Lost it all again.
Come back again.
Please.

I never knew you felt that way.
I wouldn't of expected it from someone like you.
Someone as beautiful and delicate like you.
I never knew.

But **** I wish I did.