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Nena Twedell Oct 2014
We're two puzzle pieces trying to fit together perfectly
Secretly hoping that my curves and your angles fit together snugly
Except you can never put a square inside of the circle hole on the children's toys
And you can never put a circle in the square hole.
So you whisper sweet nothings in my ear hoping that your love will be reciprocated
Like a lost puppy looking for a home
Crying out for the love it needs to survive.
And I give what I can
but my love isn't quite what you were wanting
You try to drown your sorrows and pain
forgetting that your a puzzle piece
Leaving your edges torn and tattered
I hold you close trying to fix all the damage
But I'm no puzzle maker
You seemed to have forgotten
That we fit together perfectly
Because your head fits perfectly in the crook of my neck
And your arm fits perfectly around my shoulders
Even though the curve of your lips doesn't quite match up with mine
Don't think for a second that I won't hold you close while you try to mend a broken heart.
Nena Twedell Oct 2014
I watch you walk around the corner
I watch you run from your demons quietly screaming in silence
Too scared to grab a hold of the hands outstretched before you
Too scared to run further down the path
Scared of what may happen if you stay
As you lose strength silently fighting your demons
The silence is deafening
In Silence I watch as it slowly kills you
One day at a time
I try to hold you together
try to give you my strength
try to be the light of the day
As the silence grows louder
The light in your eyes begins to fade
Too scared to run
Too scared to grab hold of the outstretched hands before you
As you round the corner
As you walk away
I hold back tears
As I pray to the powers that be that you'll return safely
The silence grows louder
And the light in your eyes fades faster
too scared to run
too scared to stay
too scared to grab a hold of the hands outstretched before you.
Nena Twedell Oct 2014
Never intended to be headed down the road to hell
Never intended to bring anybody with me
This isn't how it was supposed to be
When I started this journey
I wasn't strong enough to look you in the eye
The demons suffocating me from the inside out
That was then
This is now
I'm not the same person I was then
Today I wake up and hold my head high
The smile still sometimes hides
but don't be mistaken
I am stronger than I was yesterday
Though I still hold fear inside
I stand tall and cast a shadow over it
To let it taste its own medicine
Don't let the frown on my face fool you
There's a strength inside of me that is stronger than any frown
I am stronger than I was yesterday
I am stronger than I was then
And today I will stand tall
Nena Twedell Oct 2014
Look at me
please see the light is still there in my eyes
I wasn't always like this
I've been working so hard to keep the light on inside
Please just look at me
Keep faith
be patient
I'm getting better
Day by day
Look at me
Please see the light is still there in my eyes
It wasn't always dark like this in my world
keep faith the sun will come up
Just as it set before
be patient I know it's hard to hear what I'm saying
but see the light that still burns inside of me
See the light inside of me that keeps me going
no matter how overwhelming it is.
Be patient
Have faith
Please don't give up.
It wasn't always like this
I know the sun will rise soon.
Nena Twedell Oct 2014
"How are you?"
"How have you been?"
Do they want the truth?
Do they want the honest answer
Do they want me to spout out that my life isn't just filled with peaches and cream right now?
Or do they want me to pretend that even though **** happens that it's all hunky dory in my world
Can they truly handle the truth
Can't they see that they are lucky that I'm out of bed and dressed before noon
Why can't they just pretend like they didn't just see me and walk away
It would make pretending a whole lot easier

*"How are you?"
"How have you been?"

Do you want the short answer?
Do you want the easy answer?
Or do you want the honest answer?
The short answer will put you on your merry little way and no other questions will be asked
The easy answer will give you little insight of what is really happening in my life but it's not like you care to know anyways.
The honest answer might be too much for you at this moment just remember you asked for it.
"How are you?"
"How have you been?"

The inside of my cheek bleeds as I hold back all the pain I want to share with you
You'll never see me the same way again if I tell you how I've really been
I'll give you the easy answer just so you can leave me alone.


"How are you?"
"How have you been?"

Take a seat and I'll tell you about how my own mind has tried to **** me
How it's a struggle to answer your questions everyday
I'll tell you how my own mind becomes its own hamster wheel that I can never escape

"How are you?"
"How have you been?"

Let me explain to you how my mind will rationalize and pretend that creating its own physical pain
Like it’s the only answer to all of my problems.
Let me explain to you how my mind will taste the air around me and obsess over the cravings it creates

"How are you?"
"How have you been?"

Do you want the short answer?  
Do you want the easy answer?
Do you want the honest answer?
Not sure I like the ending but not sure how to end it yet.
Nena Twedell Oct 2014
During the day a smile will get me by
Let me hide the darkness I hold inside
I'll pretend that I am meant to be with the living
When the sun is up I'll live the double life a while longer
But with the living is now where I belong

In the cemetery
6 feet below is where my name is marked
In there cemetery
Where I don't have to explain the feeling on the inside
Where I'll never have to hide the darkness inside of me
I'll smile in the sunlight for a little longer
Try to make it the real me
But the cemetery is where I truly belong
6 feet under where I don't have to explain the darkness inside
In the cemetery
Where the only judgment around me is my own
That's where I belong
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