When the world is still sleeping
And the rain tiptoes in the dawn
When the scented candles are burning
Or when I smell freshly cut grass in the lawn
I think of you, my sweet darling
Oh, how I think of you

I think of how you looked at me
No unnecessary words spoken
We bathed upon each other
And I caught your eyes
I remember them so clearly
They were the eyes of the broken

What have she done to you,
my sweet darling?
Oh, what have she done to you?

Your eyes used to be a jungle
With fields where the grass grows
And infinite rivers and meadows
But now they have become corpses
Ready and waiting to be sent back
to the ground
the ground of sorrows and the dead

And it pains me

Oh, nothing pains me more
than seeing you losing the war

You said 'perhaps in another lifetime'
To which I replied
'But we still have one ahead of us! How can you be sure it is not this time?'
You kept silent
and I waited
and waited
and waited
and waited
And I should have known sooner
that the silence
was your answer
I should have known when I felt
the cold wind brush against my face
when you used to be
a breath of warm fresh air
I should have known when I saw the distance between us
by the way your eyes looked
away from mine
when they used to be fixed on me
and only me
even when I was away
I should have known when
you finally opened your mouth
And all I could smell were your
burnt-out lies
that knocked me off my balance
as if I just heard them for the first time
I should have known when I heard
the faltering echo of your voice slowly fading away
in the vastness of the grey sky
when they used to be so profound
singing to me love songs
and lullabies
I should have known
that 'perhaps in another lifetime'
was your lazy excuse
of telling me
'You are not worth fighting for'
And I wish I knew how
to get rid of the unpleasant aftertaste
of the kiss we shared that night
that still lingers inside my mouth

6:00 a.m.
It was her 28th birthday
She loaded the ***** laundry into a washing machine
and looked at the toilet that she needed to clean
She fixed her hair, she took a shower
without even looking at her own reflection on the mirror
She grabbed a cup of instant coffee
and gulped ounces of it to steer away the terror
She tossed the cup in the bin
but missed because her hands tremored
And as if time was racing with light speed
she saw the sunset fading away in retreat
She goes to work the next morning
with layers of concealer under her eyes
but she could never conceal her wistful smile
She comes home with her daughter sleeping in her bedroom
And on the sofa was her tired husband
still in his party clown costume
At the corner was the telephone with five voicemails from her mom
but she never found time to listen to her qualms
She glanced at the night sky from her window
with an almost unnoticeable sorrow

One day she woke up and she was 70
Still doing the same laundry
Still drinking the same instant coffee
She looked at her daughter walk down the aisle
with her father who almost never smiles
She brought flowers to her mom's grave
but she couldn't hear her from the other side with the distorted soundwave
She still walks out her doorstep with the same shoes
Almost getting tired of hearing the same news
She still sees the sunset from that window
And she looks out from them with the same almost unnoticeable sorrow

She woke up and she was 28 again
She started to make an effort to notice her face on the mirror
She took time to look at her mom and cheer her
She hugged her husband more and this time tighter
She sank her lips into her daughter's soft cheeks
And never dared to miss a moment when her innocent lips speaks
She walked out the door before the sun could set
to finally buy a new pair of shoes, they were red
She walked the earth as if it were her first time
and she locked her gaze into the golden sunshine

Time passed and she's now 92
And on her deathbed, she said
'If there's one thing that sunsets had taught me,
It is that transitions can be beautiful too.'

Oh, I know
that the infinite tears will continue to flow
for as long as you exist

but in sadness
there is joy and
in loneliness
there is growth
I find solace and
I find peace

there's still warmth
in this
cold, cold heart

when I'm looking at you
and you're looking back at me
I wonder how
the gods were
able to shrink a thousand
stars
into those eyes and
I wonder how
an entire galaxy
can spread throughout
the palms of your hands

how I wish you were just the
sands in the ocean
within my reach, easy
to grasp
or the trees in the mountains
where I could wrap my
arms around

but there you are
yes, beautiful and
shining bright
but from where I stand
too far away
to hold

too far
away

To whom it may concern,

I’m writing this letter with my computer
Because my handwriting is bad
I tried practicing once a week
But it hasn’t improved since
So I’m sorry

I have a plan I want to accomplish and this is my plan:
I’m taking a long train ride to my favorite town
Won’t you come with me?
Bring with you a shovel, make it two
Your enemies, if handy, could come too
And I’ll take with me
All the puzzling premonitions we’ve created,
The faltering echoes of our unintentional words,
The ambiguity we’ve painted on our faces,
The tragedy of our inevitable past,
The underlying cause of our animosities
Let’s bury them all
If we get tired of digging, there’s a river nearby
We can drown them all
Of course under different names
So if someone accidentally finds them,
They will never know it was us.

Everyone has secrets, and this is ours.

Sincerely,
Manganese