As you begin to let go of the past,
You let in new beginnings...

You whisper sweet melodies to my ears
Your words and harmonies invite me nearer
I slip through my boundary of restraint
In your arms I hope to fall if I should faint
But the fact remains that you're always a dream away
So I'll think of you often here as I lay

My hearts on your table
I'm lying here unstable
Exposed and bare
Fix me if you care

My feelings in this open space
My hearts starts to race
I listen to yours...it's at a normal pace
Should I read into this or is that my mistake?

If I dig deep within you
Underneath your touch, your warm comforting embrace
Will I see your true face?
Or will the facade continue 
at this known hotel venue

I've fallen for you, I say
You're still here, you haven't gone away
That's also a price to pay....

I drift back to the table
You say little
Can I forget you?  
Am I able?

You worry that I have deep feelings for you 
I pretend it's not true when we both know I am blue

Alone now,  the memory of you still haunts me
Although I am 100 % sure that we cannot be
my broken heart fails to agree 
She wants you more than anything don't you see?

My cracked ceiling way up high
I see it here as I lie
It moves not and is white in color
This ceiling though is full of honour
Strong and silent
And of course dependable
This ceiling is now my only cover
Holding steadfast throughout the house
This ceiling knows my every doubt
Come rain or shine, sleet or snow 
This ceiling I know will never lie low

My majestic moon
You cover me tonight
There, not fully obscured by the softness that surrounds you
Where you hold me in my place

And the stillness of the night echoes peace until the rustling of the blooming trees awaken to those who sense it
Calm and strong there can only be one you
My majestic moon

I hear you beckon me,
The Sea she echoes She breathes
Follow me for a time to a place to be
And you will see, you will feel, you will know where you belong
And if you find this time and space blissful
Why not stay a while and visit when you can

I saw you for a few lovely moments
I was in owe of you
But you soon vanished
Just like the clouds, you unleashed my imagination taking my breath away
And then dispersed
My longing still present
Looking for you with every view

The darkness is rarely the end

You know not what you are capable until you act and then you surpass your own expectations

It's my new job today
But I'm not here I'm away
Lost in thoughts
Where I am always distraught

Off I go to start my day
I need to make a good impression, I say
Be focused and sharp, proactive and smart 
You can make a go of this, just play the part!

Life could be worse, people would say
No money, no job or a place to stay
Those are the most important things to some
But to me those things are immaterial 

Peace of mind and happiness is key
Nothing or noone is more important than these!

The reality of it is that things were never as bad as they seemed in your nightmares

So I lie here thinking of that better place
The one where u and I felt the warm embrace
The almost intimate moment that we'd succumb too
But it was not meant to be for logic, fear and sense took its cue

Oh my Sun
Your warmth heals me
My toes feeling a honey like splendour that travels upwards to my minds heart
Caressing each vessel
Pulsating a golden release
Illuminating me once more and then again
I'm in awe of your blessing until we become one and then I'm on awe of us
Thank you
Oh my Sun

It dawned on me that we only live once....It's not just a saying
The lie I live, its a lifetime commitment  
Got to be free
Free from my thoughts

So I, d book my ticket and wear something light
You'd pick me up and think wow what a sight!

We'd drive around for a while
Like teenagers we'd embarrasely smile

Once I'd figured out that you weren't a serial killer
I'd ask to see your place and double check your chiller

I'd meet your kids and we'd play some games
They know what you don't and thats my first and last name

We'd take it slow and you'd understand
You'd simply begin by holding my hand

You'd check to see if I was ok 
and then lean in to take my breath away

You'd kiss me softly and then very hard
I wouldn't mind as it was always on the cards

You'd scoop me up in your big strong arms
It would be easy to see that I had fallen under your charms

We'd find some place comfortable and notably quiet
I'd wish I had started that **** liquid diet!

You'd lay me down and pull me close 
My heart beat racing, like god only knows 

I'd tease you a little and then a lot
All the time hoping you'll find my soft spot 

Breathing so deeply and shivering away
Our bodies playing out as predator and prey 

Thrusting hard and in synch
We don't dare move out of place, not a inch

Cries and moans released into the night
For we both want it there is no fight

Sweating and panting are eyes and
hearts would lock
I'd know you were born to be my rock

Feelings of love and the becoming of one
Would leave us entangled until almost done

So engrossed and swept away
You'd reach my core in your own special way

Both satisfied and fulfilled 
Totally taken aback by this our new thrill

When the pain become too much .... salvation may come in the form of unconsciousness

There is pleasure in self pity only familiarity and possibly comfort,  so get out whilst you still can!!

Tonight I sleep in peace because I deserve nothing less than peace

It ONLY takes a change in perception to be:

Happy

or

Sad

It may not matter which way you go.....but what will matter is your perspective on your choice

It's hard to see the future or make plans
Coz I'm living in the past, that none existent land

Hope, where have you been?
What is it that you have seen and hidden from me?
Today I allow you to ensue me
I question, I ponder upon thee
GOD have you always been?
Did I deny you and was that cruel of me?
In noise and silence it's becoming clear that
You and I are one and will be

The real is becoming so,
The haze lifting,
A gaze at the Universe,
To be breathless again
Senses aroused... I tingle,
Overwhelmed with a grateful sigh,
To be here,
Ah to be here!
No more unconsciousness, just a peaceful sleep and a calm filled day

The birds they celebrate my awakening,
And the Seas they beckon my vision,
I see her glistening as I wonder,
Several blinks but the glistening remains,
I'm on the edge of the shore,
I'm one with her,
We exist in harmony,
This is reality!

You can go but you'll never leave me
You can hurt me but I'll never suffer
For our perspectives differ and I chose to cherish you and your  shadow until my very last breath

My senses were all I had
Touch, Taste, Smell, See and Hear
But the absence of you has made them disappear
I'm a shadow ,oh how I fade
My heart, heavily weighed
Now unfulfilled and echo less

Your kindness knew no limits  
Your gentle touch so loving that never got sharp
I was held secure and tight all night
With our close bodies connected
But no slumber fell upon us
just a warmth of protection
Bypassing the sorrow and sadness that existed before you
Now only comfort stood
Most naturally the want soon grew to need
And then need almost met
Until life showed itself again
And in crept the sorrow and the gush of pain
I'm back to me without no you
Just a sweet bitter memory remains
Remember I shall till that fades too

This rose has been plucked from its place
It now stands where it's master hastes

It travels by its masters side
From dusk till dawn on an unseen ride

It's masters tries to mould this rose
And waits upon it to be fully grown

Holding it close and feeding it with love
This rose enjoys love more than most

Time passes and master ages
And his rose surprisingly outlasts many stages

Though shes frail and her petals are shaded
The love for her master has not yet faded

And on one late afternoon when her master ceases
His rose by his side falls to pieces

The sadness has slowly crept it's way back into my heart
With it's tiny pressures in tow
Eyes bursting with anguish
A release riddled with guilt and insecurities
I thought it had passed....

I knew a boy named Paul his eyes a shimmering blue
When he looked am me it was obvious that he knew

My face full of flush and my voice  all giggly too
This blue eyed boy was so cute that Id have to stand in queue

The teenager years passed and his girlfriends came and went
My crush on Paul still smelt of heavens scent

The time came to wish Paul a final goodbye
School was over, my heart echoed a sigh

As I sit hear writing I wonder what became of Paul
Is his name still scribbled on the old brick wall ?

I guess I'll never know and I'm fine to keep it that way
But Paul if you're wondering you took my breath away

It doesn't matter what people think of me, it only matters what I think of me!

Self pity
You love to indulge me
You Captivate me with your thoughts
Where both Pain and salvation are intertwined

When will you loosen your grip, I pled
When will this be over?!

I listen for a response....

A reply, when you decide it has to stop...

A sigh but not flowing with relief
A mind thats in its height of disbelief 

Clouded thoughts that love to be lost
Lost in a bitter sweet defeat

Like a charm that cannot be broken
Or a lock for that there can be no key

These feelings are overtaking
My body and mind in a constant aching

Waiting for someone or something to impact 
A calm salvation that will leave my soul intact

A shake, a kick, a heavy hand
Anything to release me from this quicksand

Alas, nothing comes, no life changing act
When will this story have an impact?

Life is what you make it I hear everyone say
But the route of the cause seems so adament to stay   

For it seems that I am the only one to set myself free
One step at a time, it's a new beginning for me

I was your model
And you the painter
Between us lay a white sheet of paper

You guided me 
to where I should be
A bend here, a pose there
But no expression for my face

Your pallet was full of an array of colours
Bright red, pure gold, blues and others 
But yet you daren't shade me in beauty and light for that
would be a terrible sight

With an inch Id try and move
to show you the light that fell on your display
But to no avail,  your eyes saw me as shades of greys that
would never be for sale

So I continued to pose until you were done 
And accepted that you would never see the beauty of
the shinning sun

Though times may be challenging never underestimate the brightness of YOUR light and where it can lead YOU!

You are the light
You are the light
You are the light, let yourself shine....

Your silence has said more to me than your words ever did

Girlfriend- So I made a mistake
The plan to meet didn't happen
Boyfriend-  I wasn't focused on you
So what
I'm human, I make mistakes
But the guilt swallowed me up when I heard your responses
Anger from you both, I'm trying !
Cut me some slack!
Then you both calmed down but my peace disappeared
It's the day after and I haven't found my peace yet
Time to shift my state!

12 steps towards the top
Underneath the candles yellow drops

Lighting the way in a spiral fashion
The yellow flames burn with poise and passion

Shadows and reflections catch the eye
A beauty and grace that no man can defy

Gracefully she'll burn until end
Freeing herself to transcend

I visited Stratford-Upon-Avon one sunny day
I Saw the beauty of the swans and an old Shakespearian play
Statues and churches with stories to be told
I listened intently to learn about history 400 years old
But my favourite by far was sailing on the River Avon
who could not be enchanted by the character of the black and
white timbered haven?

Because only doing it gets it done!!!

The waves of hope I look to engulf me
Take me in your arms and Envelope me
Never release me
I am yours

You entered the museum like a professional born to examine the pieces on display
And as you observed, questioned and pondered your face in turn reflected  your thoughts
My gaze shifted from the subjects to you
You drew me in
I observed, questioned and pondered upon my new subject, the real work of art that is you
With the other pictures on the wall existing merely as the background

These eyes have seen grievances and this heart has been broken a few a time but real love still remains and grows within,
for
I
love me....and that is no sin.