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 Dec 2015 Nadine
E n i g m a
Rushing, I'm always rushing.
To find you somewhere in the home that is my body,
In the warmth that is the blood that flows in between my bones,
A tender brush of your fingers briskly touching my skin,
And I am no longer who I used to be,
I am, I was and I will be yours,
Blue, they said, was the colour that described my smile,
But you had to go and wash that away in the wave that was your kiss,
Slowly spinning me into your embrace of bliss,
A slow interlace of your fingers with mine,
And I am no longer who I used to be,
I am one with your smile.
 Nov 2015 Nadine
E n i g m a
Trembling hands remind me of the wind that blows with flair,
While the moonlight forbodes the coming nights with despair.
Loneliness is a cruel joke,
Lord, has thou forgotten me?
Silence once broken is more often than not- unkindly beautiful,
Some people lack the air that should biologically crush their lungs,
They are not forced to breathe,
While the rest of us,
Require more than just inhalers just to proceed.
 Nov 2015 Nadine
E n i g m a
All I do is trace the borderlines of what your eyes might look like tonight,
And all I do is kiss the corners of your kerosene smile that might burn my insides, in my dreams.
All I do baby is write a paragraph about the way your sunshine laugh might melt away any guard I have designed. (It's never good enough.)
I think about days and I think about ways to get to you but I guess I'll just meet you in our own time.
But till then, all I will do is memorize and fantasize the ways you might say 'I love you'
 Nov 2015 Nadine
E n i g m a
You're always green & red when I'm blue.
You're always happiest when I seem to be drowning.
 Nov 2015 Nadine
E n i g m a
H o m e
 Nov 2015 Nadine
E n i g m a
I bear witness to people searching for homes at the end of whiskey bottles and in the beds of someone unknown. Which causes me to wonder:

Where is home?
 Nov 2015 Nadine
E n i g m a
"Do you love me?" I desperately asked.
But you replied with;

"Who could ever love you?"
Or at least I think that's what you said.
 Nov 2015 Nadine
iridescent

1. Perhaps you should reconsider wearing your heart on your sleeves- it is not an accessory. You are allowed though, to hide other things in its place.

2. Some were in it just for a good catch. You could let a heart slide out their hands like a dying fish, but never know if a tendon ever broke.

3. Do not use the term: bull's eye. You never could stand loud noises. You were more of a hunter, than a guns man, surviving on whatever spoils that crosses your path. Please do note though, that one man's meat may be another man's poison. Don't just stomach whatever you find.

4. But then again, a single bullet is all it takes to **** a person. I guess you liked it when these bullet fragments clung onto your insides like a barb, as if you were a lethal weapon to begin with.

5. Are you sure you want to investigate crime scenes? You might find his fingerprints everywhere.

6. Do not look for company. Misery loves company.

7. You are not a gemmologist; people aren't diamonds. Don't treat them like one if you are only going to end up looking for faults within them.

8. Never fall just because someone offered to catch you. You are not going to like the way he touches you. His hands will feel like a million ant bites digging tunnels under your skin; and you might just tear your veins apart by mistake. You will think you jumped into a flower bed but all you can mutter will be “rose with thorns rose with thorns” all over again.

9. When you find yourself taken aback by what you see in the mirror, do not shut the windows to your soul. They said to love yourself, but you can’t love something as hollow as those eyes- there is nothing to fall for. Pick yourself up before someone falls off the windowsill again. How long has it been since you washed these curtains? These cobwebs spelt out really bad memories that you do not have to be reminded of.

10. Do not try to play god. You can’t immortalize. You do not have that big of a hand to hold on to everything that ever passed by. Don’t tire yourself out and tear yourself apart. There are many things that you can hold and break. And if you are going to hold someone’s breath, don’t let go because they might never breathe the same again; the feeling of shards in your lungs should still be as vivid as the road signs that read “U-turn” before unfulfilled promises crashed down on you.

11. Do not take him as another one of your proses. He is not made up of words. He is a person. Remember that.

12. If you love what he loves, you will never love those things the same again when he leaves.

13. Get your feelings clear and save both parties the agony. It should not satisfy you to watch him **** himself while he lights you on fire; these stringers that says “be like drugs, let him die for you.” is just another bunch of filthy decoration.

14. Never. I repeat, NEVER see someone else in him. Never take him as a replacement.

15. Clench your fists till your knuckles turn white and your palms sweat out. Pick up these sands desperately as you might. Never stay with someone you never really wanted to be with.
 Nov 2015 Nadine
E n i g m a
I will call to you in the thorny wilderness,
If only you would comprehend each syllable of my name.
I will scream out in roses laid before me,
If only I didn’t know of the precision it takes to use a knife,
I will recite all the different train of thoughts that consume my being,
Often leaving me stranded in the abyss,
If only I was not a product of emotional turmoil,
If only you could turn my pages the way I longingly brush through those in my books,
But I’m just a lifelong series of disturbing motives,
So I will not call out to you,
Even in my darkest dreams,
Somehow I will find the strength to forgive you when I lay my entire being down,
But until then,
I pray that God forgives me.

— The End —