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Tonight, the sky feels lonely because
My Romance, has Flown Away.
Just like a Leaf........of a Tree.
That got blown, by the Wind Away.
Beneath the Moon and the Stars
My Heart, is Standing Alone.
Weeping it's Tears at Night,
for the Woman it had Loved & Known.
Like a Hand, that's warmed by a Glove.
My Heart was warm, with Her Love.
I Pray that someday, She returns
to Me.........to hold My Hands.
So the Moon and the Stars,
can perform to the Bands.
 Dec 2020 musician-of-stars
jer
Once when I was drunk
I held my hand to a flame
And it didn’t hurt
You wanted to know the real me  
So I introduced you to my depression
You wanted to know why
So I introduced you to my obsession
You wanted to know how to fix it
So I introduced you to the drugs
You wanted to know the feeling
So I introduced you to the plugs
Now we self destruct together
And it’s all my fault
Too many introductions
Now you’re falling apart
I’m sorry that I caused this
I can never get to close
dragged you into my darkness
Now we take the same dose
Guilt is an understatement.
Let death find me
Planting cabbages,
Cooking dinner with a smile,
Drying clothes on a line.

Let death find me
Naked in the cold,
Glowing in the woods,
Talking to bears

Let death find me
Writing poetry,
Dancing on the sun,
Singing to a crowd

Let death find me
magnanimous
Like a saint
things she doesn’t ask...

are they things,
she doesn’t know to ask,
or
are they things
to which,
she does not want to know
the answers.

my not knowing the answer to this puzzle,
drives me to distraction, her Mona Lisa smile,
accompanied by her noncommittal “whatever,”
hiding the answer, nearly leads me over a blurting edge,
but for my inevitable retreat, for the true question,
has a  truer answer, that comes as well, 
in question form.  

Why do I,


or do I,

want to know?
winter 2020
 Dec 2020 musician-of-stars
Erika
and so the moon weeps

for the millionth time

as it is the millionth night

far too few souls

are willing

to dance in her light
women say they want a sensitive man but they mock me when i sit at the piano crying for hours holding a lighthearted paper candle and a smile tucked in between my lips

they say they want a hard working man with ***** fingernails but
they claw at me if i turn a sun-browned shoulder against them in bed

they say they would love a cultured man but they cringe when i kiss them with lips tasting of whiskey & cigar smoke or touch them with fingers gentle as soft old paper

they say they dig the cold but they huddle in blankets when i stay up all night dancing naked across the lawn listening to joni mitchell in january

they say they want their own sugar space but turn sour when i linger and wake up dreaming of becoming an astronaut

they say they're comfortable with my past imperfections but it's my fault when i have a nightmare about being strung out on the perfume of another woman

they want a man who can write a song but they struggle when i anchor a poem to their delicate ankles and fill their empty rooms with shamefully broken pencils

they love my beautiful tattoos and piercings but shake me when i spend days wrapped inside a coral shell singing a lullaby

they want the idea of a man they've read about in books but won't tolerate me when i read them the atrocities in the sunday paper under the lampshade of an oak tree

women say they'll take me as i am but get lonely when i wander for a week and come home buried in the scent of a rock and roll bar

they say they make friends easily, like me, but can't stand to come home to talking & laughing cynical & drunk in a house full of strangers

they want a quiet man who loves them like the stars but scream when i learn to fly at the mercy of the weather & can't be captured

they want to live naughty with the thick musk of a man but act bewildered when they're caught soaking wet and weak in the knees

women say they love men with a tolerance but get jealous when i'm dizzy drunk at dawn on cheap tequila and the memory of my mother

they want a man who lives inside a corridor of words but hate me when they realize artful compliments are only cages of pretty lies

they're helpless for a man with grace but hate me when i'm pitiful and clumsy in the dark after blowing out candles and closing windows in the middle of june

they say they'll only fall in love with a lover of music but audibly cough when i hush them as Coltrane makes dazzling sodium fall across my face

they all wish for a man with careful eyes
but mine are blue and empty in the end
& it gets lonely
so i will no longer carry a song for them in my heart
like a trail-weary cowboy
no lust
no memory
no guilt
no cups
no whistles
or jewels in my vulnerable shadow
She stood on the bridge
In silence and fear,
For the demons of darkness
Had driven her here.

They cut her heart
Right out of her chest,
Making her believe
That the demons knew best.

They were always there,
Sometimes just out of sight,
Waiting in the background
Till the time was right.

These demons were destructive,
Knocking down the life she knew,
Hating everything about her;
She hated herself, too.

These demons can't be seen,
But they're far from fairy tales.
They live inside your mind;
Their evilness prevails.

So on the bridge she stood,
About to end the fight.
Then she stopped and thought
I'll fight them one more night.
credit to https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/demons-of-darkness
In tears I write
Sad my heart is
Lost I constantly find myself
Racing my thoughts go
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