I miss you.
I am ashamed and weak.
To think that I who has never loved is missing you
you of all people
tall and strong with just the right amount of comedy
I miss you
With your dark brown eyes and long framed eyelashes
I miss you
with all your flaws like never knowing when to quit
and never listening to every word they spoke
I miss you
On Thursday nights at four in the morning
I miss you every day feeling cold
with the emptiness of your ghostly embrace
I miss you everyday
at six o' clock and past the eight o' clock
I miss you
and I am **weak

I thought you wanted only me
at least that's what you said
That's what i felt
in the way you held my hand
in the feel of your calloused finger
gentle on the back of my hand
I felt it
the sparks
the butterflies
the rockets
all of it
the dark abyss enlightened by the touch of your palm
the grasp of your fingers linked with mine
I didn't expect to fall for you
I didn't expect to want you as much as i do
But you wanted me
I felt it in the press of your lips
Your soft lips tender against mine
How we closed our eyes
through our self in a cycle of torment
that I was so willing to risk
I thought you only wanted me
but you did't
my lips were too rough
my hands were too cold
my eyes too dark
I thought you wanted me
when we would talk in the midst of the night
and smile with our hearts on our sleeves
I thought you wanted me
but I was to messed up
I thought to much
and I talked to little
I laughed to loud
and I was to needy
I'm sorry
god I'm sorry
because I wasn't what you were looking for
even though I tried so hard just to be that
I am sorry
for not trusting you
I'm sorry for wanting you
in a way you probably never wanted me
I'm sorry for being Alexis
with the cold hands and the brittle heart
I'm sorry for thinking
that i was the only one you would want
I am sorry