Monicarmen Carrera

Monicarmen Carrera Sep 2019

I started feeling again
Happiness,
Love,
Warmth.
For you,
With you.

I miss you ♥

#sunday #miss #love

Monicarmen Carrera Aug 2019

Idyll

cuando la noche
nos cobija, nos esconde
no importa lo que hagamos,
si al salir el sol callamos
la luna y las estrellas
serán los únicos testigos,
que no quede ni una huella
de lo que hemos compartido

#idyll #idilio #idlico #espaol #poema #oscuridad #romance #noche

Monicarmen Carrera Sep 2018

One Thing

‪One kiss.‬
‪One date.‬
‪One text.‬
‪Maybe it’s alright.‬
‪One drink.‬
‪One fight.‬
‪One night.‬
‪Either is just as bad.‬

One text. Two people. Two stories. Three ways to read it. Three verses per person. Three platforms to share it.

#one #friend #date #fight #drink

Monicarmen Carrera Aug 2018

Liking him

Liking him was cool, I guess...
I loved hanging out with him,
Lying on his arm,
Him lying on mine,
Talking,
Being quiet,
Being in company,
Being alone.
How was I supposed to know?

I don't remember writing this two years ago, I bet it has a different meaning now than it did back when I wrote it, I'm sharing it because I feel like it fits something I'm living now and I find it fascinating how life works. The same words of my past have a new meaning today.

#love #company #boyfriend #loneliness #liking #friend

Monicarmen Carrera Jun 2018

Fear him

I used to admire you
Now I can do nothing
Nothing but fear you
Every time I ask
I fear you'll Snap

I fear your slaps
I fear your screams
I fear your eyes
I fear your presence
I fear your hands
I fear your advance
I fear your words
I fear your arms
I fear you'll **** me
I fear I will
**** you
**** me
**** us
**** both

#family #abuse #fear #him #scared #safety #unsafe #lovedones #love

Monicarmen Carrera Feb 2018

I don't feel safe

Not when I'm home, with family

Not when I'm out, partying.

Not when I'm home, all by myself

Not when I'm out, drinking with "friends"

The bandage is gone,

Now I can see

I need to learn,

My true friend is me

Not when I should

Sometimes when I shouldn't

Not with the therapist

Not with a crowd

Not with my mom

Not without

Not on social media

Not on the streets

Not in my car

Not in the dark

Not in the light

Nor anytime

Only with strangers

That aren't so strange

I feel like I might

Give life some sense

#friendship #lonely #loneliness #safety #unsafe #anxiety #safe #friends

Monicarmen Carrera Feb 2018

Withdrawal Syndrome

In the beginning it was all fun and games

It was nice to have you caring for me

The next time it happened you left me behind

I didn't care, I was feeling just fine

When I noticed it was getting out of my control

I decided I should probably stop

As hard as I could, I tried to end what you begun

As hard as I could, I just couldn't do

It was eating me from the inside out

I hated but thanked you for proving me weak.

I thought I could fight it, I can't without him

And now that he's left, there's a hole in my chest

I've tried to fill it with all I could think

His presence was just too big for me to succeed

What I thought was right was just making me numb

Now that he's gone I found out

I need him more than before

"I'll see you

In another life"

That's all you said when you left me that night

I was too proud to admit what it was

You were my drug

And once you were gone

All the symptoms showed up

Trying to replace one thing with another

Easier said than done

But I see a light at the end of this road

I thought I'd lost you

But perhaps I didn't

I know how to see you again

I'll just trace back all your steps

I will, too, leave my everything behind

But not really

Since you're all I want

#withdrawalsyndrome #withdrawal #syndrome #loss #love #drugs #alcohol #addiction #friendship

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