The days are long, the nights are colder... I keep reaching for any strength I have stored within...
I keep reaching for hope - while trying to keep hold of my sanity...
It's getting harder, cause I just want to hold him...

It's been awhile now since our last encounter... This has happened so many times before...
I should be used to and tired of this already... What I thought I knew about love - I don't anymore...

I used to believe I knew every thing about love... As it would turn out, I know Nothing, in fact...
All I've ever known - was how to give love away... I never learned how to get some love back...

So I'm sitting here feeling stupid.. empty.. and alone... Wanting TO WANT to change enough to enjoy life again...
... But WANTING to want is an emotion so deep and so hollow... I wouldn't know where to begin.....

I was doing okay when I was alone...
Before you...
I was happy, healthy, vibrant, and strong...
You know it's true...
.... Then you came along...
There wasn't an instant connection...
It wasn't "Love at first sight..."
I got a text saying that you wanted my number...
After seeing how **** you were - I text back, "Yeeeaaah riiiiiight!!!"

But it was true...

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

What if I told you
That you
Are not
You
And the voice
In your head
You are hearing now
Is not
You
What if I told you
To stop breathing
And let the
Idea
Of who you are
Die
Then
Inhale
And realise
What
You
Are

I think the worst part about being alone in my room
Is knowing you'll be waiting for me when I come out

I think the worst part about living behind a door
is knowing you're not knocking because you understand

I think the worst part about sitting by myself
is catching myself looking at the empty seat next to you

I think the worst part about being here without you
is knowing I could ask for your company

I hate looking into your eyes
and smiling
and laughing
and being happy
because I'm worried about messing up again.
And ending up alone.

How can you switch off what you felt for me?
You told me it was so deep
How do you turn it off?

Could you teach me one more thing?
Please
How do you make it stop
This aching rip in my chest

I don't know how to do it
Can't catch a break, or my breath
I'm begging how do you do it?
I want to shut this off to

I've witnessed a beauty
I can't describe
That speaks to my soul
As it swims through my eyes
The silent sounds
Sneak into my mind
The taste lingers on
Leaving sweetness behind
The scent creeps up
To slowly remind
Of the touch that once felt
Makes all else fade
Til only your beauty
Pure beauty remains

There's nothing else
Your beauty remains