good news.
the world still spins around the universe
sunset and sunrise
just like before.
everything still seems to move on
the way it always has.
even without you here.
even when it seems
the world inside me has stopped
the world around me never stops moving
never missing a beat
day after day
slamming into you
knocking the air from your lungs
kissing your open mouth on the way out
reminding you
that just as easily as something,
someone
can be brought into your life,
they can be taken out.

i linger on the corner of moving on
and forgetting
and the pathways look all too similar.
down one,
the stars dance with the moon
cloaking the world in darkness.
down the other,
street lamps tease the midnight air,
flickering on
and off,
hiding what's just around the corner
and in the end, it doesn't matter which road i take
because while i linger on the corner of moving on
and forgetting
i still wear your watch to work.

Oh, to cast my eyes
On someone as elegant
As she must be

To touch
Something as angelic
As the fingers she dangles
So nonchalantly from the opening
Of the chariot
She rides

Oh sweet beauty
Would that you were mine to hold.

What I would do
For the chance to see that face
The one so many look over
And pass by
Every day

Simple fools they must be
To pass by
The face that must out-shine
Even the stars

On one of those
Lovely fingers
Resides a ring

It symbolizes eternity.
Who was the giver of this gift?
Oh, gods above,
Do not let someone else have stolen
The heart
Of this angel.

Have mercy on me
A peasant
Pining over
This woman.

You should be
The one with a crown
My darling
The one wearing jewels
And many lovely gowns

And yet
Alas
You were born a servant
Doomed
To be overlooked

Though you are more beautiful
Than the sun.

Be still my heart,
My soul

My darling, I beg of you to have me
For I can clearly see
Though your face be veiled
That you, indeed are glorious
In your beauty.

There's always going to be people
Who you meet
Who you love
And who leave you.

But then, there's those people
Who you meet
And their ok.
But then, something just...
Clicks.
And you find yourself wondering if
Somehow your soul strings are intertwined
Because there's just not enough ways
To love them.

Hey Mom?
I miss you.
Like a lot.
I miss dancing in the kitchen
To Madonna and Meatloaf.
I remember singing under the paper lantern
From the dollar store.
You bought it just for me.
I miss your strong, muscular embrace
And your scent of cloves and earl grey and earth.
I miss your long, silky hair
Just like mine.
I cut it all off last week.

Some days,
I just wish I could talk to you,
Talk to you about what hurts
But you hurt.
Just to remember hurts.
You're gone.

Hey Mom?
If you're still in there,
Beneath all the alcohol-infused blood
At the bottom of the cavity in your soul maybe,
Could you peek out from behind the curtain?
If only for a moment.
Could you give me some signal
Some kind of hope
That beneath it all
My mother is still here
On this earth
That she isn't lost to me forever.
That the woman who cherished me in her lap
Swaying me back and forth while I cried
From bad dreams or heartache
The woman who taped up my broken arm
And taught me how to make the best spaghetti
My mommy,
Who taught me to sing with beauty
And shared her green thumb secrets.
Please.
Please.
Don't be lost to me entirely.
Please come back.

Hey Mom?

Mirror, mirror
On the wall
I always break
When I fall

Mirror, mirror
Let me see
What this sick world
Sees in me

Mirror, mirror
Show me, dear
What the gossip
Is to hear

Mirror, mirror
Please, I beg
Save me some of
What you've read

Mirror, mirror
I'm so tied to
And I'm tired of
Being lied to

So

Mirror, mirror
I will try
To see goodness
Before I die

Mirror, mirror
On the door
You don't own me
Anymore

All your life
has been clinging
to this cliff edge.
You spent years taunting
the growling waters below.
Not even the storms --
in all their fury --
Could pry you from your rock.
          Rooted Conqueror, you were.

But now the time has come
for you to reach up, up, up.
Stretching your heart up
into the celestial bodies.

Defying the constant wind,
You flower.
For the first, only time
In your life
You show the world
Your beauty, inside
That at your center,
Blooms of sunlight
were just waiting to burst.

And burst they do,
Tall as the trees,
And your brave, defiant spirit
Is Released.

Leaving your body behind to brown and wither
       Empty now.
That resilient spirit gone.
The carcass and its roots
Fall into the roaring sea.

Lord, give me

Love
Of those around me

Joy
In your voice

Peace
With myself, and others


Patience
For the one you have reserved
For my arms

Kindness
Even when I don't feel like it

Goodness
To those in need

Faithfulness
To the ones I love
And the ones I don't

Gentleness
With the hearts of those I speak to

Self Control
With my sins

And life everlasting.
Bless me, Lord, I pray.

The light dapples in
Throwing odd shadows
On the plastic surrounding me.
Like a strange sunset put there
To taunt my eyes

Each droplet of water
Is another arrow
Shooting new spikes of pain
Through my body

Hundreds
Thousands
Millions of drops
Per second
Splash onto my skin.
1,000
2,000

I could have avoided the pain
I could have stopped this
Not going to the beach
Not going on that walk

But oh, I would not take it back.

Not one second.
Every
Happy
Minute was another
Happy
Memory

To add to my collection
And even
As I lay here
Rivulets of water
Washing down my red skin
I am making another.

You tease me
Like some cruel trickster
Happiness
Dripping down my back

Turned to cruel
Twisted
Pain
Running up my spine like a knife.

Oh, blissful pain
Would that I could feel
You to your full relevance

Instead, you trip over me
Leaving pain in your wake.

Like a torture machine.

This feels so bad
But so good.
Once the water is freed
From the contraption shooting it
Like a pistol in my heart
Onto my skin
It rebels against its maker
And trickles delightfully across me, sending delightful shivers
Into me
Only to betray me again.

Oh, sweet treasure
Would that your painful side were invisible
So
I
Could sleep
Once
Again.