this is isn't poem
i just need to get it out
my dog is sick
he's dying
i don't want to lose him
but i don't want him to suffer
i don't want to live without him
but i don't know if he would be better off if i put him down

i'm terrified and i don't know what to do
i don't want to sleep because my dreams are all about losing him or life without him
i feel like i haven't fully comprehended what's happening

i found out about this yesterday right after getting home from a 2 week trip
right before i left, i had a feeling that i should spend a little more time with him because he's getting old
the whole trip something was nagging at me

i knew something was wrong this whole time
and i did absolutely nothing about it
i want him to be as comfortable as possible but i don't think i'll be able to handle being around him without breaking down

why wait
for the pain
for someone to hurt you

when you can hurt them first?

I think I was distracted
From the truth swirling around me
I'm thankful for the stress that shielded me
From the truth

That I am alone; unheard, unwanted,

unloved.

Stress
           Stress
                       Stress
It never ends
Just continues
Due to
Family
            School
                        Friends
                                     Depression
                                                         Expectations

                                     STRESS

It weighs on your lungs
Suffocating
Drowning and going
Down the
        W
            H
           I
        R
           L
        P
      O
         O
       L
of stress

I watch the night owl
Soaring over the night
                                           Free,
She effortlessly flies
Untouched by all
Unlike
                                             I
Lesser creatures
watch her glide
as night falls with

                                              Envy

Silent wingbeats
alert none to her presence.
All respect
                                               Her.

my male administrators seem to think that it is okay to pull me out of my classes because of my "inappropriate choice of clothing"?
since when is a quarter inch of my stomach or a shoulder showing inappropriate?
he seem to forget that he is taking me away from my education,
the education i need to make my .82 cents to his dollar.