I have all my fingers,
The knife goes chop, chop, chop.

There's nothing poetic about the life I lead,
With feet like lead I tread and
Tread through halls of dread.

If I hit my fingers
My fingers will come off.

I trod and trod and trod,
Life is monotony and
The grind is ******.

If I hit my fingers
The blood will soon come out.

The world keeps whipping,
There is no relief and
Man is the thief.

But all the same we play this game,
That's what it's all about.

The priest keeps preaching,
The room spins, spins, spins and
I writhe in ecstasy with my sins.

You may not use a pen,
The only way is with a knife when
Danger is your friend.

I always carry in my pocket a string.
And tied to that string there is a watch,
I like to dangle it above the Funny little creature named sorrow.

Around my neck I keep a chain,
with little picture of family on it.
And I use it to mess with that little gremlin called hate.

I carry also just a small picture,
of some lady I'll never know.
I fold it into an airplane and let that wily lust chase it.

I carry a harmonica in my jacket,
even though I am not skilled.
And use it to SCREECH at that savage beast known as my aspirations.

Pinned to my shirt,
I carry a pin from HRC.
And poke that slithering thing called honesty.

Taped to my boot,
I carry a miniature tombstone.
And let the amphibian called friendship chew on it.

And In another pocket,
I have a flashlight.
And I always shine it right in the eyes of that squirming thing called fear.

I also to carry a Quran,
And use it quite consistently,
to silence love, and teach true hate.

Finally in my back pocket,
I have a the communist manifesto,
And I beat Trust and freedom to near death.

You're here! Oh what joy!
My world, my love, my everything is here!
But then u leave again
But u just got here
Where are you going?
Should I ask, should I follow
Are you coming back today or tomorrow?
It’s cool. Don't answer. U still have that piece of my heart u borrowed
I'm ok I'm ok. Yes that’s a real smile. Happiness on the outside
But in. The sin. The evil grin. As if you Discard my heart to a garbage bin
My thoughts roam. What can be more important? U say u miss me but when u have the time, u leave ? U say I don't love u but it looks like my heart is the only one that's still warm and beating... Slowly the darkness consumed me. My bad thoughts start to outweigh the good. The warmth from my hands are gone. The coldness in my touch now resembles yours.

Isn't it strange how strangers
Aren't at all strange
And "friends" and "family" are the ones
Providing you with the dangers?

I thought that I was happy
In the summer of my youth
I had many years of living
Before I could learn my truth

I danced in silent splendour
To expectation's tune
Thinking that I had freedom
And success was coming soon

Hopes I had in plenty
No thought that I could fail
I walked tall and bravely
Along my chosen trail

The sun shone bright upon me
I basked in its light and heat
Growing ever bolder with
No knowledge of defeat

I felt I knew life's fortune
That I'd always play and win
Holding on to my aces
Was that really such a sin

My golden halo shining
Secure in my self belief
Before desperation took it
Sneaked upon me like a thief

Do you ever think of me on rainy days?
about how I used to tell you
that you reminded me of the latter?
about how the pitter patter of the raindrops,
sounded just like the tears you wiped away?
Sometimes I sit in a coffeeshop and inhale the aroma,
and I swear I see your shadow in the rain.
—J.N