I used to adore you
And want to be yours
But when all I needed was a friend
You weren't there
And that was enough for me
To walk away

And I'd get out
And away from this place
These people,
These streets,
If only you weren't here with me
Walking through my own personal hell
Doing it side by side

No one would notice
If 1 of 2200 students just
Disappeared
And no one would notice
If 1 or 450 cars
Never parked in her spot again
And no one would notice
If 1 or a class of 35
Never showed her brave face again
So how could my death
POSSIBLY hurt as many people as you say
If they don't even notice the little things
...?

I'm walking a tightrope
Below me is a quick death
But on the other side is you
And you know **** well
I will do everything it takes
To get back to you

Let me in and show me around
Or kick me to the curb
For I refuse
To sit on the doorstep
Metaphorical to your life

So when we take our last breath
And my last thought is of you
So when I go to where I'm meant to be
And you go your deserving route
You will be my little bit of Heaven
In my world full of Hell.

I’ve always imagined
Your house
Robbin’s egg blue
Just like your eyes
I’ve always imagined
Your mom
Cracked but beautiful
Just like your smile
I’ve always imagined
Your dad
Forward but shy
Just like your walk
I’ve always imagined
Your room
A melancholy type of old fashioned
Just like your soul

“Let love set you free” they say
But every time I fall in love
I feel trapped, caged
Like a bird with clipped wings
And by the time
My captur wants to set me free
It’s already too late
Fooled, hooked,
Conned

Old apartments
Like my heart, need care
Abandoned playground
Like my hand, long for your touch
Cemetary
Like my mind, where things go to die
Highways
Like my relationships, need repaired
Trees
Like my presence, underappreciated

Yet I sit here
And wait
For what, I don’t know
Maybe I’m waiting
For you to save me
But maybe
I should be waiting
For me
To save myself

My heart is glass
Put back together with tape
It is a sidewalk chalk drawing
Half washed away
It is a playground
Put together with superglue
But you
Punched through the glass
Breaking and entering
But you
Let it rain
And didn’t miss the art
But you
Bulldozed the park
And put up a cemetery
But you
Didn’t put flowers next to my grave
Didn’t come to talk to my headstone
And you
Walked away
Knuckles unscathed
Still dry
Not longing for a swingset
And you
Walked off into the sunset
Perfectly fine
But here lies me

You make me
Look like a fool
But over you, I drool
For your burdens, I’m a mule
You used me as a tool
Should have known
You’d be cruel.

Everyday with you
Is a day I make it through
We couldn’t be more close-knit,
We’re a perfect fit
You breathe life into me
Like oxygen from a tree
To my heart, you have the key
I can’t leave you be
I promised to never lie
Since, weeks and months have gone by
Now, you don’t have to “stay high”
Take my heart, it’s not to buy
Once you understand
Once you comprehend
I will love you to ‘till the end
I’ll be your forever friend

Light it up
I’m never enough
Burn it down
To the ground
Smoke and flames
Done playing your games
But like fire, there was always a catch
Lit a match
But never a spark,
So I started a fire... light in the dark

Deep down,
In the darkest depths of despair,
You’ll find me living there.

Naked. My heart out there for you to view.
Unclothed. A bath full of memories I drew.
Exposed. I bare my scars for you.

Heartbroken,
Eyes swollen,
Innocence stolen

The way I smiled
When I said your name
But my heart still hurt,
All the same

I will always love you.
But
I hate you
For doing this to me.

Silence. Wait by the phone.
Tears. You feel alone.
Deep cuts. Addiction prone.
Aroma. Fangirl, full blown.
Protective. You treat me as your own.
Singular. You left me to get ******.

Unopened propane
Unlit match
Unfired gun
There’s always a catch

Left me on read
Got in my head
Crying in bed
Want her instead
Better off dead

How bad I want you to say
“I need you”
Is just about as bad as
I want to feel your arms around me,
About as bad as
I want to feel your hand in mine,
About as bad as
I want to be wherever you are,
About as bad as
I want you to want me back.

Headache from smoke intake
Heartbreak from a mistake

Once upon a time,
Since when do poems need to rhyme?
Since when do stories need to start that way?
Since when do I need a safety plan?
Since when does a woman need a man?
Since when do I have relationship pain?
Since when do I have anything to gain?
Since when do I need you?
Since when have I blue?
But for me these things are true,
And because I need you,
I hope you need me too.

Pain in my heart
Been hit with a dart
I could have been smart
Kept us apart
So when you want to restart
My still lungs and heart,
Notice, sweetheart
You had a part
Don’t even start
Doctors look at my chart
“Flatlined”, “Dead heart”
The scene was “graphic art”
My body, motionless
All because
You couldn’t tell heartbrokenness
From suicidal hopelessness

These rolling hills
A soldier's cemetery
These empty thoughts
A suicidal paradise

Ditched the plan.
I fell in love with his talk,
No confidence in his walk.
I fell for his smile
Only seen every once and awhile.
I fell for his embrace,
But there is horror on his face
When I saw the art
On his arm, from his heart.
Then I rolled up my sleeve,
Only for a moment, it was brief.
I showed him the things I do
His face turned a ghastly hue
He pulled me close and asked, “You draw too?”

I am not in love, I just get lost in his eyes
I am not in love, he’s just not like other guys
I am not in love, but I am addicted to his velvet voice
I am not in love, at least if I was given the choice
He is not in love, so neither am I.

So here I stand anew
And to recovery, I stay true
As I write on this page
I am in a new age
I have been through enough
My life has been tough
But your life is not a screen
I’m not trying to be mean
But life is live,
And I choose to surv;ve.