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Oct 2016 · 278
Max Oct 2016
It makes the world go around

It consumes your whole being
It tells you that you aren't complete
It causes pain like nothing else

I love you
But I'm not suppose to
Everything reminds me
Of you
But when I think
About you
It feels like
My heart
My body
I can't
I don't feel

Miss you
Love you

So much
It hurts
Oct 2016 · 519
I'm sorry
Max Oct 2016
I'm sorry
I want to
Talk to you
I really do
But I can't
It hurts
Too much

I'm sorry
I want to
Talk to you
I really do
But I can't
It reminds of
Things that I'm
Trying not to feel

I'm sorry
I want to
Talk to you
I really do
But I can't
I'm not

I'm sorry...
Sep 2016 · 311
Max Sep 2016
Sometimes it feels
Like all of my fears
Have flown away
And I have nothing
Left to say
I know that I am feeling
Momentarily invincible again
I wrote this a while ago, but it still rings true for me.
Jul 2016 · 209
Max Jul 2016
Blank space
Empty mind
Void of feeling

How do I find
My way out of
Jul 2016 · 595
Page 191
Max Jul 2016
Unconditional love
No matter what
It all
I'll still
Please don't ever forget that I'll always love you.
Jul 2016 · 329
Max Jul 2016
But there are word on my tongue
Far too many to say
Is this what it means to be
I'm writing a letter, but there are so many things that I want to say. However, I can't decide which thoughts to actually place on the paper.
Jun 2016 · 512
My Reflection
Max Jun 2016
Day ONE:
She smiles at me
Day TWO:
He wants to be set free
My reflection stares back at me
Unsure how to feel
About who I am
The body I have
Am I a girl (pink)
Am I boy (blue)
Some combination (purple)
Maybe neither (green)
I wish I knew
Then maybe
My reflection
Wouldn't look so sad.
Jun 2016 · 183
Warm drinks
Max Jun 2016
Two mugs
One holds coffee
The other tea
They are different
As they should be
But they are still
As perfect
As you and me
Jun 2016 · 295
Come and go
Max Jun 2016
I come and go

But like clockwork,
Every time,

It is bookended
By three words

And a smile.
Jun 2016 · 165
Max Jun 2016
I'm waiting
For the feeling
That will bring relief
Hoping it will come
For the feeling
I'm hoping
Please come soon
Jun 2016 · 241
Words unsaid
Max Jun 2016
Many times I don't know why
I feel like crying
But I know
That I would be lying
If I were to give
All the blame to words unspoken
Because reason says
That there will always be
That never make it to you
And this I suppose
Is what is heartbreaking
Everyday that goes by
Time keeps flying
Infront of my eyes
Taunting me
Telling me that seconds
Fly by
Without you
So I sit here
Pen in hand
Writing the words
That I cannot say
So that one day
You will see everything
One day I'll be able to tell you everything that I could every want to say, but unfortunately that day is not today.
Jun 2016 · 185
Fuzzy Mind
Max Jun 2016
Why does it hurt
I want to be mad
At something
But I'm not
It just hurts
Jun 2016 · 221
Pending completion
Max Jun 2016
What is this feeling.
Why is it back.
Why does it come with such
I would say that I feel nothing
But that wouldn't be true
Because I miss you
And there is a lump in my throat
Because I can't say
All of the things that I long to tell you.
I know there are tears hiding  behind my eyes.
That hold every emotion I have for you.
Why I feel this way today
I don't know.
It happens every now and then
On varying levels
But why today
Of all days
Is one of the worst
I don't know.
I suppose
my body
my mind
All of me
Feels incomplete
without you
i miss you
i love you
I suppose the feeling will never leave until we are together again.
Jun 2016 · 848
Late night skype
Max Jun 2016
I love the sounds
That come to me
From you
Through my headphones
You typing
You talking
Your words
lulling me to sleep
Filling my dream with
but you
Jun 2016 · 250
Please stop
Max Jun 2016
What it means to be human
Is something that I know all to well
Even now
Sitting here
I can feel my heart
my heart beating
my heart keeping me together
tearing me apart
I've heard that the heart
Is a gateway for emotions
Do not ask me if this is true
For I do not know
But if by chance it is
Can someone
Tell me how to make it stop
because all of the beating
and fluttering
and skipping
Is making me go insane
Jun 2016 · 277
Max Jun 2016
Their feathers shiver
from the autumn wind;
Their wings move
making the wind swirl.
Their eyes and minds
are set on places with warmer air.
They are delighted,
they have their beaks
to splice the wind
and lead the way.

When they land,
they begin a new life
Unsure of what will happen,
But knowing
that they will return to their old.
Jun 2016 · 266
Max Jun 2016
You live your life in a glass bubble
Seeing everything just like everyone else
Until one day, other people start going out in a new bubble
They are tinted, in colors such as blue, orange, grey, and red.
You find them strange yet intriguing
Then the tinted bubbles multiply day by day
When finally you are the last plain glass bubble in the sea of color
They take over and swallow you up
You now live your life in a grey glass bubble
Everything around you becomes darker
Until you cannot remember what it originally was
They do not tell you how to return to your old bubble
The world begins to look different
You find yourself asking
Is this a moth or butterfly, a caterpillar or worm
Eventually you stop trying and embrace your new life
They do not oppose
Jun 2016 · 154
Max Jun 2016
We see, we think, we talk

But do we know how?

We walk, we run, we skip

But do we know why?

Some think we know everything there is to know

But how would they know for sure?

Some think there is nothing more to discover

But there is always more.

No matter what it is or where.

There is always more...
Jun 2016 · 164
Max Jun 2016
His face turns from its happy seal like form
Too hard as stone when his father enters the room.
He stands there back straight, with his brothers behind him,
Waiting for their forever-working father to say something, anything.
However, he only stares. His eyes swimming through his sons’ souls
For one tiny particle of courage, skill, or even trust.
Finally, his eyes stop upon Jeffrey, his eldest of three.
Only then does he speak.
Though what he is to say is already known.
The boys listen intently through their lecture even if
It is meant for only one. After their father is gone,
Jeffrey, the chosen one, becomes a ball of grief in the corner.
Henry old enough to understand goes to his side to comfort him,
Before his heart truly breaks. Their youngest brother,
Richard skips around the room, yet the force of his brother’s sadness
Starts to trap him. So he too goes to join their huddle.
To know your fate is maddening even if you yourself chose it.
It drains the excitement out of life quickly,
Like how the beating sun melts ice on a hot summers day.
Let your life unfold before you, don’t make every decision
Before you even know what to decide.
Jun 2016 · 178
The Willows
Max Jun 2016
As I walk along
The path of weeping willows
For one last time.
I break my vow,
And hope
For the first time
That I will be attacked
By the poisonous drops
That slide down from their branches.
The drops that I have avoided for years,
Because if they touch me
I will burn slowly
Falling where I stand.

I hope and hope and hope again
That they will attack me.
For if they do
I will stay here forever,
And this love
That I have come to know
Has brought me to a point
Where being here
Void of life
Is better than living
And leaving.

It is not as simple
As being tapped
By a few drops.
For you see,
I would have to be drenched
In their poison.
And while I have come close before,
This time
I was barely sprinkled upon.
There was not even enough discomfort
To equal the agony
I will feel when I leave.
It seemed
As if the willows
Heard my wish,
And decided
To leave me with more pain
Than their poison
Could ever give me.
This was written in reference to the first time I had to leave the love of my life.

— The End —