I still love you, like the things I’ve seen
inside a painted memory,
for the brush was my own
I walked next to the shore, as I laid by your side;
it was the same sensation,
the roaring colors of sound
on an empty beach; because what we gathered
came to rest against our ears
with the smiles of our world
lodged into my mind, though you were gone,
but not what I recalled;
you had to be yourself,
and that was the promise I made to you

It's not just how we were together
It was the way it started
I didn't have to convince you
It was something you already knew

You left the door open
With white candles burning inside
It was as if you were expecting someone
The romance was that I was the one

I didn't have so far to climb
It was what you wanted all along
You were so unafraid
The look in my eyes was easy to tame

Now the candle has burned out
A closed door, I'm everybody's stranger
Who would be so fearless again
Now I wait for something I cannot explain

You were so unafraid
Unafraid to say what you mean
If only I knew how to to make someone
Unafraid to light a candle again

She asked if I’d ever looked at a bed
Knowing all the things that I’d done
That’s not how her momma’ taught her to pray

She had a husband once
He bought the bed but that’s all
It was up to her to make him want to stay

I didn’t mean anything by it
She asked me, “What did you say?”
I was thinking it was a sad story
She could tell because I looked away

But why do you believe it?
Why do you believe something
There was a white dress and everyone stayed to pray

It had to be right she said
The preacher gave us the word
How could a new bed know he would not stay?

I didn’t say anything about it
She was ready to close the door
She wanted to feel like a woman
But he never could think that way

She asked for roses once
He said it’s not the same to ask
I’ll bring ‘em he said but today was not that day

They never did arrive
That’s why she was so surprised
I gave 'em to her one at a time
One for every tear that ran that day

I didn’t know anything about it
I knew then we’d have to get our own
I wanted the one she had in mind
The one where only true love can lay

He said he would no longer toy with her
But there could be no promise
Take the chance or not
She loved him enough to say yes to life together
But he only wanted her pride in him
There was never a woman who thought him perfect
An imperfect house, every wall crooked
A leaky roof, the carpet stained
on and on and on
Yet what did they see when they walked by?
Why did they knock on the door?
Did they know what was on the inside?
They would tell him once, then paint the walls
It was smile, his courtesy, they could see
how he felt about them
Yet,
fearful of his own passion
He assumed too much
Their fidelity, their chasteness
Could this woman want a crude man
Throwing her on the floor, violently mating
No, how could that be?
Instead,
it became a canvas to paint delicately
But he could not decide which color
Or how many
Should he lay the canvas on the floor
And pour the paint upon it’s expectation?
Her impatience became like a bird
upon the updraft of its calling
She flew away to the island mountains
The rivers had risen
It’s feet shuffling to a liquid dance
Subsuming the rocks and valleys
But it was no matter to her
She could fly
He wondered if she would come back
She deserved everything
She could fly
She deserved his promise
And her criticism
He had to be able to take it
He was just a man
But he was a man
He had to take it
And she was there for him to love her
That was what he thought anyway
Did he ever really know a woman?
Each one a fantasy
But he could not lift them up that far
Only in his mind
He wondered
So many children
So many unhappy women
They would give life
Then they would suffer through it
He never understood
Screaming at him
But staying night after night
Was that love?
Was that a woman?
It was as if her life was a miscarriage
It was so close
It was alive
It was happiness
And then she thought
I should have been there for you
For you
My baby
My life
And he thought about this
He regretted thinking of her as an angel
It was too much for her
She just wanted loyalty
He watered her garden
He dusted her pictures
There was so much to lose
He couldn’t ignore it again
He was a skeleton
He wanted his skin back
He wanted his organs
He wanted his life back
To breathe
To eat
To feel the inside of a woman
Through her eyes
So he waited for her answer
He knew what it would be
Loyalty does not compromise
She was a woman
It was not a game

We were the couple in the corner
Not part of the ambience
The noise and interruptions
Loud laughter
Everyone sure of themselves
Yet we were most important
They were escaping
We were living
No longer ordinary
Deep in conversation
We had something
A chance and we both sensed it
It was as if time stopped
Yet we desired its haste
Discovery is fascinating
Yet like everyone else
We wanted to read the last page
It could have been about next Thursday
Would we be thinking of each other
Yes there was no doubt
Hope in love lingers
Even without a happy ending
For hope in love is hope itself
We were discovering ourselves too
Regrets, wishing we were more interesting
Trying to slow down excited words
How embarrassing to be so enchanted
It seemed so anyway
Nobody noticed them
Except the man who wanted one of their chairs
Yes yes please take it
What do we care, can't you see?
It's already bad enough
Such loud intimacy
I wanted to whisper
It's hard to be gentle when you can't hear
Then I sensed the sudden change
Like a cool breeze
But the chill was welcome to you
It covered your face
The dread of loneliness
Born of desire
As if I hadn't felt it too
But I had
Suddenly every word mattered
I felt the urgency of a mountain climber
My sense of humor strained
My senses attached to every detail
Ordering another drink
Speaking to the waitress
Treating her kindly
Wanting to be sure and just to her
She smiled as she knew as well
She'd felt the same breeze last Thursday
For it was me who'd imagined it all
And she remembered
I'd made her feel human
And emptied the room for that moment
We would never forget
We'd read the last page
It was now time for the book
It would be worth the read

You may say
Life is of no consequence
So many have lived
Neglected by a poets eloquence
Faceless by any name
And yet they lived and died
Passionate, loved, a friend
Upon marshy sod, their children cried
For they would remember
Love squinting to see
Memories bending time as echoes
Shimmering like the moon on the sea
He wanted her to live with him
But only from afar
A demented madman of love
Could only speak by star
And another, who would only prevail
Upon lust each and every night
But love, in its exhaustion
Was left longing in his sight
Yet still, laughter, a fiddle or a lute
These things were made by honor
To live, by mistake or luck
But to not care, there is no greater horror

I'm not climbing to higher ground;
it's holy enough where I stand
It's my fault I planted the wrong seeds;
scattered about by my own hand

The spirit hovers over silent waters;
it's life unconcerned about my fulfillment
Desert sands burn my swollen feet;
my pain has become my sacrament

Don't weep for me
Don't sing for me
I'm not a martyr
My life is my burden
And yours my blessing

Have I humbled myself too late;
a story already written enough for dust,
settling on the bounded spine of memories
Where regret blooms and pride can only rust

I pray for my friends
I pray for their children
what else can I do?
what else?
what else?

Don't weep for me
Don't sing for me
I am not a prophet
My life has been chosen
And yours keeps me guessing

I pray for you my love
I pray for you my love
what else can I do?
what else?
what else?

It’s better to be implied
Suggested
Make them feel something
Tears without a reason
Longing without knowing why
Faith in a silent night
Nothing sure
That is what she said
It’s better than the truth

It’s not too dark yet
Hope sleeps too
To awaken is another light
The one that never dims
Only your point of view

Did every step prepare for this
Or just bring me here
Without warning
Or experience
I don’t know the purpose
Or what it implies
The world came into my  own
Without a wall
Only what is true

I don't really understand
I read the same book
It didn't make me want to control
It just told me what I know
About how I need more
More of the things in my soul

I don't really see
The things you say to me
It's not my life or my will
It's not the past anymore
We still have a little more
But you can't accept it still

I don't really care
If you can't get it right
Just don't tell me I'm wrong
It's not the way of being free
To have to believe
In a place I don't belong

I won't tell you why
You already know
I can't say it any more
But you won't listen to me
You threw away the key
And locked my prison door

Where have all the moments gone
I think I spent them all on you
Come back find a way to begin
Fit your way in between
Rising and setting suns
Day and night
And the reasons that made it end

It’s the constant motion
You won’t sit still
You always painted a mood
But my eyes could no longer follow
Now there is no time to pause
No time to reflect
Like normal people should

Should we instead chase being ordinary
Being fulfilled is not always equal
We can find it in music anyway
There is too much pressure
Yes, too much pressure
To ride white horses
And wear red lingerie

You want me to say I love you
But I can’t even though it’s true
It’s not about being a bride and groom
Or a home to share the same room

It’s not a question of my feelings
Or the words you’ve been needing
It’s not about what I know is real
Or whether it is my heart you will steal

It’s about the moon and the sun  
How we are apart but live as one
It’s how the sun sees its own reflection
And how the moon starves for attention

Yes, everything is true
But it is on earth where love lives in pain
And though the lights of the sky are who we are
It is in quiet solitude where hope will remain

You want me to say I love you
But you know it’s already true
It’s not about until death do us part
Or wondering if you are in my heart

It’s not wondering about if or when
Or a foolish game of private pretend
It’s not about what we know is real
Or whether I share what you feel

It’s about the moon and the sun  
How we are apart but live as one
It’s how the sun warms your soul
And how the moon regrets long ago

Yes, everything is true
But it is on earth where love lives in sin
And though the lights of the sky are who we are
It is in quiet solitude where hope begins again

We don’t know why they cut the tall trees
Or scare small children
They keep us outside
Where the wind cannot make the sound of peace in the winter time
And the rain can only ask why it is an oasis stuck inside a cloud

There is so much beauty in her worried face
It speaks silently for her heart
But sorrow became too much
She prayed to be forgiven for wanting laughter for one weekend
She will throw open the door again on Monday if she is allowed

The smoke rises over a five minute walk outside the wall
But we are not alone
It is time that makes us afraid
We know our lives will one day be a thing of the past
But one last kiss from a good woman will make us cry out loud

Every day begins the same, coffee or a soda
It’s the way she lets the sunshine in
Too many times she’s seen the end
She says she’ll wait for the right day
Until then she walks alone while the sun sets again

She doesn’t miss snoring or cleaning the tub
Not the type of girl to give in
She would do it for the right kind of friend
Remembering the day she sent him away
But time makes him seem different than other men

She’s not a lady in wait
That’s no way to live
But the moon said it’s not so bad
I always wait for you

Her fingers fidget around her last cigarette
She wants to quit but not without him
Her family always ask where’s he been
She tells them it’s not for her to say
If he calls she’ll talk about it but not before then

She’s not a lady in wait
That’s not the way she lives
But the moon said I’m also sad
I know you are too

She had no natural way of living
Instead she lived by the method
Someone else’s words she read
But that life can only be silhouetted

She became an actor and a director
We all had to play our part
She placed all the words into our mouth
But what she thought to be real was not art

You try not to let me think
But still I form circles around you
You only want me to listen
All I will do is walk
And I one day I did
I wonder if you heard it?

There's no method
There's no method that works on me

Every original thought I had was dark
Yes that is what you said, something, not me
It was somehow as if only you knew the light
But I only see shadows inside your head
And a broken hand holding tight to what it won’t let me be

I don’t want to feel ***** and full of sin
But she could only tell me I had lost my way
How can you love someone when you are judged
By someone who only knows the script she wrote for the play?

You try not to let me think
But I’ve passed the place we once thought of
You only want me to listen
All I did today was talk
I had to talk about it
I wonder if you heard it

There's no method
There's no method that works on me

You read words from afar
   and think about love
Love that you never knew
   except in your dreams

Or maybe for a fleeting moment
   the moment you once believed in love

But now you must believe in life
   our life together
Because life has become love
   or is it just romance?

We are taught to love one another
   and to control our emotions
But what emotion is greater than blinding love?
I can tell you about it
But what would I say if we met?
Would my pride allow me to speak plainly to you?
Would I be able to tell you that you had the power
   to make me fall in love?

Words written in the dead of night are not afraid
   as words spoken to you in the daylight hour

Walls of apprehension are built so high
   so pain cannot be felt
   or seen

But when our eyes meet
So too shall our lives
And that is what you must believe my darling

In life

I wanted to treat you special that night
You could hear it in the sound of my voice
How could I know if you were the one for me
I took a chance because your eyes left me no choice

The solemn moon is always up there
It doesn’t know what it is you’re trying to say
But you know what it means to you
Even on days the sun can’t burn the clouds away

I wanted her to know the real me
One night is not worth an unhappy life together
She wondered if I would always be this way
I said I once tried but I cannot predict the weather

There was a time when meaning had no meaning
I didn’t know how to be sad for no particular reason
Now it seems a mood is the easiest part of our day
Because we decided there must be a point to bleeding

I thought about love being a dream with no name
The faces are only the things that I want to feel
The way you looked at me shared your own dreams
The face that you saw was the first one that was real

The nights we spend wondering about tomorrow
Are for children listening for hoofs on the roof
I can no longer wait for clue that only years can reveal
Because love has to be decided without any proof

Going to walk back through the darkness
Towards the light too afraid of me to shine
You know what you did to me
There’s no room for fault in your mind
You won’t admit it, not to me anyway

You said you were afraid this would happen
But that was when my kiss opened your eyes
I carried you through the sunny morning
You looked back and saw how darkness lies
Now you deny the things I heard you say

I wasn't afraid to lose
Not this time
I believed in you
Now I can't believe in someone new

I don’t need to tell you these things
You played love for a fool but not me
I know who I am and it’s not yours
I was a rental and now just a memory
But it waits at night where you lay

I wasn't afraid to lose
Now I am
I can't believe in me
Who would love someone who's not free?

The love we gave to you
The more you gave back
That’s why you didn’t leave any for you

The smiles we gave to you
The more you gave back
That’s why you didn’t leave one for you

You always tried to save us from ourselves
You emptied your heart until it was dry
But when it was time to save yourself
We were the ones with tears left to cry

The life we gave to you
The more you gave back
That’s why you didn’t have any left for you

You always tried to save us from ourselves
You emptied your heart until it was dry
But when it was time to save yourself
We were the ones with tears left to cry

I once slept knowing you loved me
I could breathe and you would notice
While my chest rose with a full heart
You touched my hair without malice

Now time passes without a hint of promise
We spoke the other nightbut then you left
The way it was is like a movie to me now
I started to watch but I already know the rest

Knowing how you love is not a sad story
It's just life and everybody lives like that
I thought maybe something was still there
But those mountains roads are now flat

I walked the streets of a strange town
It's me now who makes them walk away
Mourning love covers me like a veil
Morning suns shine hope for another day

She could see Earth through the window
It had become as if it was almost not at all
Now only distant to that divided folk community;
she had become all of whom heaven would
know and it’s next port of call

Though the rules didn't allow green on stone,
she thought how could I be judged so harshly,
when he never told me I would be the one?

They would play God without permission, but
they would also deny him before the sun rose
But she knew the truth of its orbit
And it was no longer her enemy who stole the light
she lovingly raised in a garden where hope grows

She tired of investing in social gatherings
Now it seemed so much a relief
to be the one who thinks only of nothings

She thought of skipping off of atmospheres
and the life of dread that floated on air,
yet she never laughed so much
But it was the fear that made her delirious
while the deniers of mortality could only stare

She never wanted for her next meal
There was always a home, but was it
about something she once thought to steal?

The plans had changed though time only
looked at the watch it carried for chances
It wasn’t sadness but instead a blessing
Nobody else could relate but she knew that
warnings were not related to circumstances

Without thinking anymore of why it happened
or why somebody would choose life without dignity,
she could only wait for miracles to be as imagined

Somebody left you in a forest
It’s not the first time it happened
Except before it was an abandoned road
Once the freeway to your heart, but now
Only asphalt and leaves breaking a promise

But that is where you must begin again
There was never any plan
Every time you think back you realize
Being lost was never being found
That is how it was with other men

Sunlight hiding from a shadow
Leaves clinging to cold air
I felt as if I’d passed you once
Our eyes met for a moment, then nothing
A country road only knows tomorrow

You pretend to know where you are
You can describe it but not why
You became someone instead of something
I wanted that something to be me
But now you know something bears no scar

so many words uttered
laying on the sidewalk
surrounded by chalk
drawn by children
who once were adults

how many times asked
"will you spend the night?"

that’s how we try to survive
but if you say no
i will ask again tomorrow

nothing personal
then why did it affect me?
it’s all personal
but you didn’t consider that
because it was personal for you
and I’m outside the loop

i wonder if anything can be told empathetically

everybody has their perspective
it’s personal
they believe their story is untold
so how can i tell it for them?

stop holding me back
stop trying to change me
we are two people
why does it mean so much to you
it’s not love that makes you do that
it’s something else
but it’s not me

i wonder if everyone thinks so much
it seems to me they don’t
i’m thinking about them and myself
i watch what they should be doing
how they are interacting
but i realize they are not interacting
they are taking
they have no patience
they will risk everyone’s life to turn left

i wonder what is so important about turning left

there needs to be some sort of resolution
but the loudest among us are too angry to compromise
they just are
and they will follow anyone who agrees with them
even the most flawed person on the planet

as long as he is angrier than them

where did America go?
or in the alternative
has it been born yet?

a parent has high hopes
as do signed documents

but who is raising the baby?
where are its parents?
what example will it follow?
who remembers the high hopes?

i do

life liberty and the pursuit of happiness

all men are created equal

we once held these truths to be self-evident
so why are we killing each other to prove them?
what is the conflict about?

a woman who covers her head
in church while she moistens her finger on a sponge
or on a plane while a man screams at her?

freedom
to die for
not to shackle

freedom
we honor
not ridicule
but if you must
it is your choice

freedom
to live
not to control

freedom
and justice
for all

for all
and everything
is who we are

so why do you want me to be like you?
why are you afraid of me?
i don't want to be like you
i just want to let you be like you
please
let me be like me

let us have a baby together

we can call it

AMERICA

I thought of a soul mate and perfection in love until I remembered that a fantasy is not where the tears of reality are welcome or where the mistakes of human emotion are forgiven or where the ******* of being someone's dream is released so we can be who we really are

I know my love is not more important than loneliness
We went so far that it changed your past
It’s not remembering my name but what I was to you
I reached you but still it didn’t last

I’ve become balcony sunsets washed by tides of butterfly’s
Knowing you’re out there makes my heart listen
It’s strange though how we want to listen to something sad
While the roof we built lets the rain in

You walked in the river where I stand
As long as my feet are wet
My soul is a part of everything we planned
I know it’s not my choice anymore
But I’m strong enough to forgive you
And I’m strong enough to still love you

The golden rails to you are being laid night after night
My shadow lays next to them by day
I can’t make it happen but beauty is nature’s story
It’s my imagination that knows what it will say

You walked in the river where I  swim
As long as my body is wet
My life is a part of everything within
I know it’s your choice now
But I’m strong enough to miss you
And I’m strong enough to live without you

Don't worry so much
I'm worth five minutes of pride
I won't think of anything but you
How beautiful you are
How lucky I am
It's not like I'm looking for anything
It's hard enough to react to what happens
Still, I think the things you think
I've done the things you've done
It just doesn't feel the same to you
Because you're a woman
You have to pretend
But I don't
It's not fair
So let's not play this game
I won't think anything of it
I'm ready for who you really are
Just don't tell me right away
Wait until I fall in love with you
That's what I do best
Put you on a pedestal
Make you a princess
That's how you should enter my life
Like a fantasy
You can shock me later

He said,
“What is it like not to be afraid to die”
I didn’t know
I am afraid to die
If I would so choose
It would be for love

It’s a war

The order,
“Take that ******* hill”
It was an order
An order to die
Who would I obey
My fears?
Jesus?
My country?

I wondered,
“Who is not afraid to die?”
Is it a rational man?
A crazy man?
A man overcome with grief?
A man overcome with love?

But they were real
Not mythological creatures
******
Loving
Violent
Men

How could a seed emerge in a field  such as this?
How could the sun bear to watch?
How could God sleep?

We are candles
The flame is so weak
But glorious
The wax
Deep
But how deep?
The wick
Threaded by someone else
But how long
So many ways to fail
The wind
The depth
The length

I pray to you now

The leaves I placed in the ocean
Will  they come back or float away

I pray to you now

The rock I skipped across the water
How many  times will it skip before it sinks

I pray to you now

The face of a man consumed by  duty
He will never tell me what I  want to hear

Take that ******* hill

I feel like apologizing all the time
It's mainly 'cause how I am
I get pretty excited
It wears me out
I like to sleep it off
What's the use of staying calm anyway;
from what I can tell life don't care;
Why should I?

It's as if ignoring the worst
is the right thing to do;
I'm not worried what you think
If it's horrible I'm gonna' say it
Pretending I can handle it is just that;
pretending

It's like being in love
and trying to not act like it
How horrible;
to let them know,
no matter what they might say
I wonder if someone will laugh
even though I took it seriously
It's ok
I love you
So what, right?
Ok...
you don't love me
I'm not going to say something
about what you're missing;
how would you ever know anyway?

But,
I know you noticed me
That's what I want to apologize about
You see I came across so confident
And I was
That's the thing
I was
And I am

Every conversation we have;
it's like we're passengers
I want to take you away from that moment;
the one before I walked in
I'm gonna' love you in mine

I'll see you again;
sometime anyway
Yes,
my smile means something;
it's not an obligation,
just take it from me,
it's yours even if I never come back
and it is;
yes,
it is

Your silhouette outlines my dreams
Your breath fills sails tied to a mast
Your touch proves you are willing
Your shadow makes quiet my past

Your words echo my silent thoughts
Your smile is the light of my spirit
Your life gives mine its final purpose
Your love my heart needs to repair it

It’s been a while for you
You’re sitting thinking of then
But you’re still young and beautiful
It wasn’t what you expected
Is it pride or did you really love him?

I’ve been on my own two feet
That’s the way I walk these days
I needed to find my balance
But I want to be uneasy underfoot
Like when someone new changes my ways

I could dig up some old pictures
Read that letter
But I know who I  am
Whatever she said was true
It’s the reason I can’t think about forever

We both know our memories
What good are they now?
Not very if you won’t love me
Even if the sea is filled with pieces of the past
Hurry, let me kiss you before your forget how

I’ve already given you my heart
It’s been yours for so long
You felt it in the rain and pain
That is how you have survived
I cried too while life did you wrong

I had to start somewhere
It was the next day
I was still alive
But I felt a different way
I was down a step
But on the same stairs
I tried a different building
But those steps didn’t care
I wondered why it was important
I can’t hear it
But I felt it too much
I decided not to wear it
It’s not going to be bigger than it is
I thought this candle wouldn’t melt
I’m sad that I got over you
I wonder how the ring felt
Now my hands are held high
Lost in a sea of experience
Some wrote a book
Others an unfinished sentence
Walking between my business
And the questions you asked
I can tell you this but never again
You killed me but I buried the past

What to do with time that may last minutes or years
No way to talk about regrets with anyone who you once knew
Listening to young people talk about the pain of the living
If they only knew how time is so precious and what it can do

Fallen trees, food for the god’s that roam underneath our feet
Broken stone fences, dividing land once known for its welcome
Hope, as wispy as dandelions, blown about by our misgiving
The wings of Falls colors, flutter as the winter cold beckons

What we fail to see are the ways to be what they missed
To know the moon follows a setting sun is the beginning of time
How many times can it be that a chance passes to be forgiving
But to act our age is to allow time to commit another crime

A house without a child
Is empty
A heart without a lover
Is alone
A song without a dancer
Is aimless
A moon without longing
Is a stone

Let me be happy
You said maybe
You didn't say no
You said what could be
Is me and you
And even if what is to be
Is what is never
What was
Will last forever
Because I loved you
And I really knew
What was inside of you
Was what I needed inside of me

The next time you think about love
Think about me
The next time you think about being true
Be true with me
The next time you decide to fall
Fall for me
The next time you say forever
Say forever to me

Tears from a blind eye
Unable to see what it can feel
He prays time will spare him as he waits
If only love could believe it was real

Do you want an ocean deep
Or a mountain high?
I am neither of these things
But if you want a green meadow
Where we can lay
And dream together
I will come to you
When the moon lights the sky

Don't ever think
That your kiss is all you are
But a mountain top view
Or a star that is new
Are the things we remember
Don't ever think
That making love is all you can do
But walking a crowded sidewalk
Listening to idle people talk
Is not what I will remember
Don't ever think
That your face is all I can see
But a sunrise painting
Of our love awakening
Is what I want to remember

They had sunshine in their eyes
Burning brightly like hot stones
But steam rose as they entered the waters
Cooling the marrow in their angry bones

They gathered their thoughts
Leaving room for their tired bodies
Their poles could not reach the bottom
From ships sailing upon the hate of the centuries

There was only one direction to go
Away from the entrance to the final door
Free skies and seas were impatiently waiting
For those longing for peace and not war

They gathered their children together
But the tempted one’s chose to remain
They cried as they waved to fading lighthouses
Praying the doors of decision would see them again

They decided to test their faith apart from a culture
That only knew how to bury their dead
Forgiveness of their destiny was an imaginary dream
Until they remembered wooden ships were crosses instead

Desire never left them, it only changed course
Words in strange languages slipped from their hands
Their existence remained as it was written
They were lost because of what they could not understand

The light became consumed by their judgments
What they thought was good were walls of resistance
Their detachment from creation was complete
Until they realized that freedom was only stark distance

Horizons of apprehension marked time until they returned
The lamb waded ashore with the children who were left behind
The islands they sought were instead full of longing and sadness
For love was something to share and not something to find

Avoid expectation
At all costs
Awareness is knowing when not to care
Of course you care
But you don’t concern yourself with lessons
Or form
Unless it’s your own
The worst thing is to be afraid
If you are a part of the scene
Then you can be a cowboy in a commune
It's an adventure without an agenda
Try not to think about it
Everything thing is a way out
Nothing is anything
The moment you feel different is the door
All it takes is one person to get you
There is no way to measure it
It’s not popularity
It’s not an ego
You walk like a cowboy in a castle
Take off your boots
Or wear them
But don’t make up your mind about it
And don’t answer questions
If anybody says they know you
That’s just them
It’s not you
They tried to put you somewhere
Somewhere that makes them feel better
The best thing I ever did was stand up to a friend
This is what I do
This is what I’m going to do
And being a man is not being a man
It’s not being a woman
It’s not being anything
Except being what I feel

When the moon doesn’t move fast enough for love
I look at its reflection in the ocean
I never let the moment forget whose life it is
And it's not about stillness but instead motion

I opened my eyes too soon
Only in dreams do I take the time to ask questions
Whoever sent it to me said take my time
But in my haste I forgot to remember his suggestions

A mariner across the sand needs no arc
It is the same with a camel as a wooden ship
The life you leave behind is not enough for fear
What matters is the courage to make the trip

Have my virtues changes as I’ve aged?
I cannot believe in what no longer tempts me
And I cannot pretend I have grown stronger
What is easy to resist is not living free

I never want to think we’ve met before
To be reminded of so many others
It only means I’m looking over your shoulder
I can’t paint with everybody else’s colors

Am I myself or what life says I must be?
I know the answer but it depends on the time
Drawing a road in the desert is how we do it
What seems the same to you is not in my mind

It's not a path
It's a decision
You cannot turn back
Though you can make a revision
It's not quite the same
But what is precision
Nothing more or less
Than the hope of a vision
A dream
But alas we must awaken
Only to find we are what we are
A soon to be memory hoping to be risen
Change, a choice
Or another mistake of intuition
No matter, we are where troubles gain contentment
Yesterday confessed, today forgiven

If you can believe the pages you skimmed
Are as full of pain as the one's I failed to read
Then we can tell each other a story with an ending
That is true to the love we decided to preserve

Sweet lady
They want to hide you from the night
Let me be your witness
Show me what you keep inside

Sweet lady
They tell you to cover up
But your eyes still know enough
To show a man how to love

Let me see you
Let me be with you
The way you want to be
With me
With me

Sweet lady
Your face became my dream
You smile silently away
Knowing what I want to believe

Sweet lady
In another world
You would play in the light
Show me things only you can see

Let me see you
Let me be with you
The you
The you, you want to be
With me
With me
The way
The way you want to be
With me
With me

It’s become greater than I am
I’ve loved you for ten years
And I’ve not seen you in three
Or however far away time must be

It could be a shadow or cold sand
Dark or comforting without a sound
Lightly reminding me of what I cannot see
Still I wear eyes that want to believe

What I used to say is nothing anymore
I was a baby then and I’m a man now
You heard what I said and hung it on a wall
Take it down baby
Take it down
Take it down
I can't look at it anymore

I'm about to make you feel nervous
Maybe it's easy for you to tell me the truth
But only if it's goodbye to set yourself free
I wonder if you could ever say you still love me

What I used to say is nothing anymore
I was a baby then and I’m a man now
You heard what I said and hung it on a wall
Take it down baby
Take it down
Take it down
I'm not like that anymore

I was about ready to ask you out
I'm tired of watching you walk away
You always keep your eyes to yourself
I wondered if it was me or just your way

I finally asked one of your friends
And he let me in on the deal
He said you have a boyfriend
A girl like you is hard to steal

That’s alright baby
I can wait
You’re worth all my time alone
I'll wait until you make him your ex
But I’m telling you now
I got next

Every girl has a guy hanging around
They like to keep their options open
You just have to show her you’re for real
Even if your heart is next to be broken

That’s alright baby
I can wait
You’re worth all my time alone
I'll wait until you make him your ex
But I’m telling you now
I got next

We cannot raise the dead
Except in prayer
We lower them into the ground
And then remember with hearts so bare

The passages we solemnly read
Are not the faces of empty air
What rose in our hearts was not sound
But the swelling of how much we care

What once was this is now just instead
No longer do my eyes only stare
The parts of my life not failing ran aground
But what I learned is you’re still there

I need you to look inside my head
Tell me if it makes you scared
If not then why won’t you stick around
Sadness is ready to love no matter where

I could talk to you about the color red
And the pain my blood must bear
There is the time that healing was found
And you are everything life would share

Finally the time has passed to wed
My heart and mind to places where
I can finally understand the things you said
You knew how to mend what life tried to tear

Every day we don’t speak
Every day you make me think
Another day disappears in the past
What was good
Is what you’re trying to ****

Every day I think the worst
Every day I think I had you first
Another day no longer lasts
What was good
Is no longer your will

It’s a wall that I started
But you finished it so well
I thought I heard a drum
But it was only silence that fell

There’s nothing we didn’t say
Nothing we didn’t feel
Now I feel nothing from you
Only a dream that once was real

Your heart  beats easy no matter what
You accept life as it comes
But I can’t believe how being so far away
Makes me feel life more than when you were near

It’s a wall that I started
But you left it for me to climb
I touched each side asking for mercy
All I see are voices you painted on my mind

I have not faced the hardships of life
Not starvation or the humiliation of my soul
Only the war of my idealistic love of self
What a disease could not destroy
Was stubborn pride only a candle could tame
As I became a believer in my special place
Where an angel would always remember me
Not as my lover but as my voice in God's ear
But the silence of my pride feels like surrender
And what faith in my angel once was became
The delusion that I was God's favorite son
I felt all the air in between the words I spoke
Like a lone cloud mingling with a blue sky
An univited stranger pointing at his watch
I turned to my angel but I only saw faded ink
It said time ends when you know you are alone

Walk on alone
All alone
My sad eyed friend
Where you can find yourself again

Clouds that always seemed to follow
Don’t know upon which door to knock
You finally moved on, to where sunny skies called
Shadows on the beach forgot how to spoil your day

Walk on alone
All alone
My sad eyed friend
You need to forget where you’ve been

Four days alone and that was enough
A lifetime of troubles buried under the dunes
High tide rescue, pushing them all away
Leaving behind a glistening footprint canvas

Walk on alone
All alone
My sad eyed friend
I’ll join you when you say when

Whatever you think my eyes say
It could only be true
They can never lie
Not to life
Not to you

Tears that rage
Are not how I see the color blue
But whatever softens my sight
Could never be me
It could only be you

Do we talk about nothingness
Smiling with our voices
Instead of thinking of a time to confess
If we could only love the plains the same
The breathtaking expanse of distance
Walking towards a horizon picture frame
Holding hands, always together

I wondered why it was
All the romance I ever knew
Lived so far away
I kept fooling myself
Saying I wanted to love somebody
But I never knew how

Every sunset makes paintings out of dust
It is the same within my heart
The clouds of my mind, stirred only by lust
But inside the rock formations
To see your face again, reflections of love
Carve themselves, memory creations
Reminding me, once again

Alone for a moment
In the night
Though you hear the earth move
All around you
What you see is unpredictable
A complex system that does not need you
Faraway light that has no meaning to you
Except comfort for your dreams
But if you close your eyes
You will see the same thing
But only if you keep them closed
For as long as you are awake
The forest will burst into flames
The ocean will turn every ship upside down
The mountain will bury everything in its path
The Earth will swallow the memories of those who live
And then nothing will be left except the distance
Between what you could be and what you are
But there is no comfort this time
Because the distance is inside you
And it is as far away as the stars you love
So you rip your eyelids off
You do not want to see what is inside
You do not want to understand yourself
You only want what you do not understand
What is far away
What you can lust over
What can touch your naked body
Because a fantasy never disappoints you
And with your eyes open you see it as it approaches
Anything that is desire can change form
And become what you want it to be
And it will wait for you
Tomorrow night will be there
As will the distance in your mind
But you do not want to see what is yours alone
Only what you must share with everyone else
Because they too can only understand what is far away
And only what their fantasies reveal to be true
To a mind that is as far away as the space you love

Only my spirit knows how long
It is not a question of time
For the time around the sun is not how we love
It is not time that measures sadness
It is only that it is
How can something like this feeling need a body?
I only know how it shakes when you are not around
Chilled by the air
It cannot change the season
Parched by the sun
It cannot make it rain
Hurt by pain
It cannot make it stop
No, it cannot
It can only live with the things it cannot control
But wherever I may wander it follows
Or does it lead?
How can I know if I cannot hold it in my hands
Can you tell me my friend now that you're gone?

I know this is a lost world
It’s not so hard to see
So many people are crying
Waiting for a parting sea

The path I chose is clear
No brush or signs to read
It’s not always easy
Still I have all I need

It took too long
Too long for peace
The war never ends
The fire will never cease
Except the one you light yourself

There’s no conflict in my heart
What’s right hides from no one
But those who climb trees to lie
Are burned even by a setting sun

It’s not that the path is lonely
I walk in the middle like a parade
I can hear every whispered temptation
But my mind has already been made

It took too long
Too long for peace
The war never ends
The fire will never cease
Unless you put it out yourself

There was nothing I had in mind
About what to do when I saw you
The sidewalk would only say
There’s a reason she’s walking on her own

Nothing I can say will work
So you didn’t say anything at all
It’s the luck of the next card
I can’t see first what someone gives to me

No ring on your finger
No look in your eye
When will it be
That you will notice me

Shadows following you
Bright light reflecting
You pass through so easily
Whoever hurt you
Made sure you wouldn’t look at me

I thought about it for ten years
Or it seemed so long today
All that matters is turning around
If I only knew how you want love to start

No ring on your finger
No look in your eye
When will it be
That you will notice me