I wonder if this is how it will end
“Yeah, I remember him”
What more can it be anyway
Just to fit into someone’s life
Even if you didn’t talk for years

Everybody is already there
We’re just playing out the hand now
Somebody new doesn’t stand a chance
They can’t compete with the past
I’m already a made man

If I can stand you for a week
Then that’s a close to love as I get
You can’t suffocate me
That’s why I got rid of the pillows
We’ll lay flat long enough to breathe

What I say is what I think
But the way I turn at any time
Depends on the way time looks at me
I will always consider your feelings
But I’m going to push my personality far

I’m looking for another door
Different than the one I came through
An entrance awaits on the other side
But is it leaving or just passing by
It depends how big the thought is

You finally did what I no longer care about
That’s what twenty years on does to you
I could borrow more money than I’ve made
Somebody trusts me that much
Or is it a trap like when you said I love you?

A baby was born
Not knowing his people
Or that his path had been chosen
When he realized the truth
Of his color and his world
He saw the struggle to keep his pride unbroken

He will never be free
Until a bullet learns how to love

He read the words
And saw the pictures
Of long ago dreamers and haters
Wondering if it was real
And what he should do
He had no idea he would die like his savior

He will never be free
Until a bullet learns how to confess

As the anthem was sung
His hand covered his heart
But his people continued to cry
His children tried to laugh
But someone told them no
He did not know how to tell them why

He will never be free
Until a bullet learns how to be equal

A boy was put in his place
He learned about rejection
All he wanted was to make a friend
A bullet punctured his dream
But his children still knew
That grace saves what men would condemn

He will never be free
Until a bullet learns how to be human

There’s a man standing at the end
He said, “I’ll welcome you but only when
you walk the length and breadth
gasping for air and cursing the depth
of the suffering you can’t overcome”

It’s a path not a nail my son

There’s a woman standing at the head
She said, “Be born into this misery instead
of thinking it’s something more or less,
it doesn’t mean what we all bless
or any of the things we have become”

It’s a path not a sword my son

There’s a mist floating you cannot find
It revealed something to your mind
“It is not where there is water or dust
or within the heart of shiny things that rust,
but you are deaf because you only play a drum”

It’s a path not a stone my son

There’s a light alternating between dim and bright
It waits while you gather for a life without sight
But what guides you will not speak as you wish
It only feeds those starving for bread and fish
While you walk with those who will not come

It's a path not a judgment my son

It seems time can only dig holes
I can’t keep falling in them
I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel them
But I do

Rivers flow downhill
And where it goes
Is where only tears know
They know
And so does my heart

Why does everyone pay so much for nothing
Love is free but it costs too much for you to call me
Maybe it’s because you can’t buy it
It’s safer to pick out a star for your own

It seems that time is trying to make me old
It’s not weary eyes
It’s not tired feet
It’s saying goodbye so much while I pray

I’m not afraid to tell you I love you
That is a gift you know
But you don’t have to open the box
Maybe the ribbons are pretty enough for you

Rivers flow downhill
And where it goes
My tears will follow
Emptying into my heart
It's how heaven raises my spirit

She passes us by
But she doesn’t know we're right here
She’s been living a lie
Taught that perfection will bring her near
Nearer to God  
And all the things this earth cannot provide

The rising night pearl
Inside a giant shell that never opens
Just like a beautiful girl
Our watching eyes like needles and pins
Pricking her skin
And all the things that she can no longer hide

She was a good girl
But good does not always see light
They made her live their life
It became an empty way to live
Even though they told her it was full

She fell into a trap
Nothing left but darkness to avoid
She thought she had a map
They said only the next life could be enjoyed
But she only could see the night
That’s how she knew she's still inside

Her parents called her
They thought she was going to make it
She became a soul they could no longer stir
What her fears came to admit
Scared them
Their desires she could no longer ride

She was a good girl
But she couldn’t smile anymore
Her mother kept asking her why
She was pleasing somebody but not herself
She was a sheep wearing everybody else's wool

A fateful cocoon
Just a feeling
Nobody told you
You just knew
You hear sounds
And sense the light
As you ready yourself
For loves revival

A sparse moon
Staring at the blue disk
Awaiting his lover
Silently wondering
Aglow from desire
Reflecting passion
Fed by the desperation
Of loves survival

You pushed through
The vine was bare
A budding romance
Warned by your thorns
To be ogled
And pruned
Until the day
Of loves arrival

The age of awakening
When a boy becomes a man
No longer just listening
He questions who holds his hand
A revelation of life
His mind now his own
He will continue to search
His thoughts no longer on loan
From the world of eternal persuasion
The message he receives a ruse
God is this; Your country that
The truth has been abused
The confusion of a material world
And knowing how to live
He is confronted by a choice
Is it better to receive... or to give?
He will finally know
As the charlatans are revealed
They speak for themselves
Their motives no longer concealed
His ability to discern
And live on as a man
Will guide his future
As he discovers his plan
Fearful Mother remain strong
As you watch your bird fly away
You may well trust his wings
For you taught him to fly this way

A bird sitting on the end of an arrow
When it fell your wings knew what to do
You liked being carried along for the ride
You learned to fly when your courage grew

But was that really you?
Riding the wave
Whatever its direction
You needed to feel the floor drop
Before you finally felt brave

You can do it now
You can know what was forever true
You used to watch it happen to someone else you knew

You can learn what matters now
You can find out before the day gets too late
But you have to you fly in skies that aren’t always blue

The sword is covered with all our blood
The folks who swing it don’t worry about their aim
We spend our times frying eggs and looking down
But we don’t have to lose our pride or take the blame

A bird sitting on a freight train
When it set out you didn’t care where it went
You only believed in man-made things that never die
But when it stopped you knew which message had been sent

You can do it now
You can remember what they told you
Or you can decide if you want to be someone new

You can learn what matters now
You can find out before the night becomes early
But you have to fly in skies that are sometimes cloudy

What solumn countenance would curtain
a joyous explosion of masks, wigs and
gay costumes lifted upon the shoulders
of unicorns, hoisted by green mice with
chattering teeth as the teeming throbbing
wall of ever sharpening claws and whip
tails tightening the knots that bind them
with each living brick?

What strained smile would do honor
to the leaping unicorn, transporting
mere mortals transformed by imagination
relinqueshed of reason and the laws of
man where those who carry no haute
or couture of those most favored swallows
that flap their wings until the day their
frivolity turns it's head on their foolishness?

What mind locked behind lonely doors
would leap ahead of birds shed of tails
and teeth and horns that fly about the
land unabashadedly crossing seas and
rivers cooling the hardened hearts of
men who cannot believe in the fairy tails
of fantasy because what their God decided
was that the poor must always be with us?

You know you might could just do it
Do your own thing
But nobody’s gonna’ pay you for it
It’s only a way to pay yourself

Go ahead and be you
It’s not easy being different
But it’s easier than being something else
Don’t pick the wrong version of the story

When you decide to breathe again
I hope you’re the one who’s there
When you decide to speak again
I hope you’re the one who cares

It’s time to quit pretending
There’s nothing but pain there
It will happen soon enough for you
But now you belong to your own heart

When you decide to see again
I hope it's you standing in the mirror
When you decide to love again
I hope it's my heart that becomes nearer

I wouldn’t have thought it
I’ve never been there
So I had to talk about it
With someone who had

Sometimes I laugh without humor
That’s all you can do
Letting it go without anger
That’s how you keep a friend

The sun’s one less problem now
I had to work my way around
I once loved it too much
But that sin is ready to forgive

I like psychedelic butterflies
They can see the air they dodge
Murals welcome them home
It’s up to us to remember them

I’m going to let you see
I’ll stand there while you tell me
What is it that I do to you
Those are the eyes I will believe

There’s a cure I have in mind
I swallowed the pill before we met
Remission is not enough
I’m never going back there again

It’s a song always in my head
I let it happen but I don’t know when
I hear it all the time
Not the same but the feeling instead

I can fade in and out
If you catch me on the bend
Just don’t let your ego cry about it
It’s important to know where I've been

She cried how can I do that
I asked do what
She said you know what I mean
I said when it wears off you won't ask

I wish I knew how to take you there
It's a lonely valley of discovery
I can't speak to you while the music plays
When I tell you my eyes will then become yours

I was made to love
Who do you think you are worthy of?
On this Earth I will roam
You should stay home
I have set myself free
You are lost at sea
I want to rush in
You only wish to sin
I don't want to hold back
It is discretion that you lack
I am a lover
You will never recover
I want to be completely open
Your misery will only deepen
I want to take a chance
Upon prudence you dance
I want a new romance
You don't live in France
I want to sing
Your delusion has taken wing
I want to paint
Why can't you show restraint?
I want nothing but passion
It's not the latest fashion
I am the key to life
You merely invite strife
I will soften the blows
You are weak as everyone knows
I will make words come alive
These things you merely contrive
I know what it is that I am
In the game of life you are a sacrificial lamb
Why do you stand in the way of joy?
You act as if love is a toy
Why do you remove my wings?
I am your mind and I tire of these things
But it is I who bears the pain
And I save you again and again
If I cannot love I will die
Why do you believe every lie?
Because that is why they call it chance
You and your childish notion of romance
You will have to trust me this time
It will only be another mountain to climb
But the journey will invigorate us both
It seems it only feeds cynicism's growth
Because you are afraid to give
All we ever do is try to forgive
Maybe you have discovered the secret
I don't have the heart to stand it
That is why I am here
I need you to draw me near
From our own cup we will drink
What will other people think?
We control our own mind
But it seems sadness is all we find
If I can live in sorrow why can't you?
Because I don't know what to do
Then trust that I am stronger than you know
I will then let your love show
Only then can we be whole
I am sorry for the passion I stole
Tonight we will begin our life again
Yes... tonight we will let love in


Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona

You will know love
When you rid yourself of desire
You will know love
When you no longer demand or require
You will know love
When you set someone free
You will know love
When your faith flows gently
You will know love
When you live and let live
You will know love
When you do not ask and instead give
You will know love
When you can accept another’s choices
You will know love
When you listen to other voices
You will know love
When you honor the life of another
You will know love
When you liberate instead of smother
You will know love
When you understand a problem
You will know love
When you try to help them
You will know love
When a vow is renewed
You will know love
When your destiny is understood
You will know love
When you let yourself go
You will know love
When your heart tells you so

There is hope in sadness
Because honesty
And not falsehood
Along with true emotion
Opens its door to comfort you
Because it will receive you
And offer its blessings
To mingle with your own
On a winding road
Of love
You see my daughter
And her smile for my heart
In this I know
The hope that we long for
Is sprouting in the next generation
As we who have lived
And search for our youth
And for something new
Remain in reposeful wait
To live on
In the knowing
Of where we have been
And where we will go
But for me
It is the very feeling of loss
That offers dignity
And quiet assurance
That regardless of my tears
Life will go on
And a little girl
Will be the one who will make you happy
So take her hand
And look past my troubles
And see yourself through her eyes
As she asks you
To show her what you know
And what you love

I want to start over but from where I am now
I may be old but my mind knows how
To listen to the knowledge of the street
And not college where the frat boys meet
Inventing the art form of a young man’s life
Trying to find himself before he finds a wife
Not playing all the people like they’re a game
Making their heart remember your name
Not because they made love with you
Or what you dropped inside just came due
It’s more like this where a girl walks away
Thinking what the **** did he just say
That was like watching a movie or a play
But it was in my bed and he knew what to say
He told me the way but first I had to weep
No way somebody’s spoon could dig that deep
It had to be with my hands my mouth my feet
Nothing left for me except a mind ready to eat
Ancient texts about suffering causing my desire
Or reading stories written by a winner and liar
How pretty can I be if the world is still on fire
Nobody gives a **** except that boy I inspired
The one who won’t call me love but still wants more
How can I tell until I give it all away like I did before
Well maybe I should just not make myself a temple
Instead I’m a sidewalk where a memory is a riddle
You walk on me and there I lay white naked cracked
But now I know you and the manhood you lacked
Yes it's the way to be, unlike a ****** drinking tea
The more my body takes the more my mind can see
Because nothing’s sacred besides what I think of me
And the truth of the world is not so shocking or free
I wish you hadn’t started over like I thought you doing
But what I must ask is who is listening and who is drawing
Shapes on the sidewalk where blood was finally spilled
And the sermon given by a **** whose mother was killed
I haven’t confused the parked cars yet with my directions
And the ***** I made was the least my own affections
The movie had an intermission asking what year it was
The lobby was wearing a facemask that only said because
It’s the rebellion of the common man after quitting time
Nobody can tell who they are but still they wait in line
Did you go my girl to the grave of an unknown soldier
Do you know what it is that makes him your keeper
He died didn’t he and the headstone said he was brave
It’s act two scene three of the conversation with a grave
You’re not feeling so pretty now because he can’t see
It’s up to you now to think of something to say or be
That’s what I wanted you find inside the history of man
The terrible tale that a spider and a planet understand
But let’s not fret about that we can’t change the past
Maybe we should start instead with what we thought last
Did it make sense did it mean anything did it feel good
It was the flame you ignore though you piled on the wood
It’s not really suicide as much as it is ripping out the wires
And walking with candles for eyes and years for hours
It’s living without giving a moment or a life away
What’s real is everything you do and everything say
Do you really think you’re evolved because you laugh
Was it your own wit or something you read in the bath?
Don’t be so shallow that the pool you drained is on me now
I can’t take it any more I can’t take it though I know how
Let me start again let me start again let me start again
Then you can listen in yes then you can listen in
Because what I’m ready to say is what you just heard
But you can’t remember because it’s not actually occurred
Has it my friend, a dream hasn’t actually been your story
It’s only what you wanted to live but all you can be is sorry
Just like me the courage to be was only the fear to be
But the genius inside of you is also the genius inside of me
And wherever whenever I leave you I will draw a line
We were here because the sidewalk witnessed our crime

I never was a wheeler dealer
So don’t pass me the wheel or the cards
I don’t do puzzles either
I don’t like picking up the pieces
or taking my time just to **** it

I don’t drink to get drunk that much
I don’t like the morning after
or waking up with a stranger
We can drink for each other though
There’s something about love in a bottle

I was trying to decide something
It had to do with falling in love
Trouble was nobody was around
The love letter I wrote was really good
It never got mailed but I would’ve

I’m not much for attention anymore
After the cameras are all gone
What’s left but you and all my fears
I don’t want anybody to know what I got
Somebody might want to come take you

For some reason I’ve found myself here
I loved you but I didn’t like you sometimes
It’s not that you weren’t a good woman
It’s just that you wouldn’t quit doing things
Talking to your ex or drinking more than me

Some of these people sure don’t seem real
I don’t know if they know which candle to burn
A home away from home is hard to find
You have to say hello to every stranger
Even if you’ve never seen their type before

I’m on my very own yes I own it now
Freedom is something I’m ready to pawn
But that’s what I said last time
A girl I once knew said I should go for it
But it’s not right to steal her away

I was thinking about hind-sight
But that’s nothing but a song to sing
I’ll take the crystal ball from you
But you don’t have one do you?
That’s why mistakes just happen

I am not a politician
Or a lawyer
I am an artist
And I am for you
Not borders
I am for you
Not judgment
But do not lie to me
No matter who you are
I can forgive a mistake
But only humility bring hearts together
And vulnerability
Not calculating clever talk
That promises something
But is really nothing
Know your speech well politician
Do not think me a fool
For I am not
Rank means nothing to me
Nor party
Only truth
For I know whom the throne favors
And it is not me

As their lips neared the shores of chance and promise
He stopped the water and swept the sand clean of candled muses
The wind swept air paused for them to decide
They didn’t know about love when they could still feel their bruises
She thought she heard him say the word forever
But how could it be when it was only what she’d given away before
Though he stopped her breath she opened her eyes
She wanted to see what kind of man it was who finally wanted more
The fortress she made was only made of sand
But when he pulled the moon close the tides of love swept it away
And while fires burned inside glowing paper bags
The roar of exploding shells fueled their desires where they lay

Her mind had become one large empty room
With only a chair
She needed a place to sit and think

She felt like an empty alley crossed by railroad tracks
Life seemed to have a way of going its own way
While she watched silently waiting for the next train to pass

She heard a noise and it was a spring bird gathering twigs
It was undaunted by weather that won’t make up its mind
It’s a feeling inside that drives it to plan ahead
No matter the cold air
It must be nice to know what tomorrow will bring

It’s that feeling though
It can make you wait for the wrong thing
To believe in what is not right for you
To forget the pain they put you through
You remembered a glimmer of good
And made it the entire story
That’s why the room was empty
That’s why a glimmer is welcome
But there is no other chair
It’s because you put it on the other side of the door
And you did it for a reason
And now you’re thinking of bringing it back
What you don’t know is that it’s not there anymore
Someone else took it

Maybe you’re in the wrong room
The door is unlocked
You can leave if you want
Or you can wait
Because a fantasy is easier than a decision

Picture perfect like a ballerina waving her arms;
deep gorges and rolling valleys, a morning smile,
but the armies of pain tried to make her forget

She lay awake watching for birds too blind to fly

She wanted to wear her slippers
But the hot embers of war remained
She wanted to twirl on extended toes
But the holes she penetrated had no end

He had thought himself as a fallen prince but she
could not accept cruelty as fateful romance; only
furtive, plaintive, pointed glances remained;
wanting to shatter glass without breaking form
over every new set of lustful eyes

She knew he had never kissed a storm

A black swan; she hated that she had no concern
or seriousness until after it happened and yet he
was also a black swan swimming eagerly towards
her sweet lips

She kissed him as if it was a mistake

He was consumed with fantasy; another knight
pursuing his prey; she knew he was already in love;
it was too easy to hurt a man; every naïve inference
he followed was in reality her rigid body saying no

Ste remembered who slayed her pride setting
in motion the earth’s plates beneath the ocean
that shattered salty skies with its ruthless
obsessive deluge crushing the future

Nothing would ever be perfect again; or was
it that she realized it never was; she knew
normalcy could never reveal her criminal side
or what she would do with a man who knew
how to touch her

She wanted to be wildly melodramatic, but
the elevator would not descend for those
who could not control themselves; the
reflection in her wine glass reminded her
how quickly it would sink into the ******
mess she had become but at least it would
know why being strafed, shot and left for
dead had become so important to her

All this and his lips were still moving, prying
open her mouth so he could pleasure himself;
such a man was not what she wanted but
it was time to let him be a man and she was
willing to donate herself to the cause; if only
he knew how to do it

There are times I need the spread of a meadow, green and flat
Or maybe a field with perfect rows of corn as I drive quickly by
I want to see the distance but not so much that I cannot be a part
Because where do people exist except in common occurrence?

Hands across the void unable to touch each other
Giant clocks with hands that move though we cannot see
Hands reaching to heaven but all we can feel is the rain
The sun and moon shine upon us but time passes not so gently

Between mountaintops is there a promise for the future?
What we see and gaze upon is only a moment to contemplate
Though some live in God’s country it is not the pleasure of most
To walk upon burning sands is the promise that we will live together

It is the truth that you must see in order to know truth itself
And so we must see his presence in the things we cannot touch
Yet what we feel is the warmth of day and the chill of the night air
And the sense of self that brings us together on common ground

Crying without tears
Living alone for too long
It’s not what I’m used to
I don’t do sad very well

I wonder if I should just let it go
The flood building up inside
Or the feeling I have for you

Crying without fear
Living apart feels wrong
You know what’s really true
It’s just hard for me to tell

I wonder when you’ll let me know
You smile but you never confide
Are you hiding somebody new?

Crying about years
Living distant days is too long
I wanted to come see you
But what if your heart already fell

I wonder if you’ll just say so
Why do I believe what you denied
It’s because I’m a jealous fool

When
I wanted love
You were gone
When
I
Wanted
You
You no longer wanted
Me
All the days
Of my mistake
Left me awake
With the regret
Of a lifetime

In your heart I will live
With my eyes I see you give
Everything
For me

When
I wanted solitude
You were there
When
I
Wanted
Me
I no longer wanted
You
All the nights
Of my desire
Left me asleep
With the dream
Of a lifetime

In my heart I will live
With my mind neglect will give
Nothing
To you

I didn’t find your feelings on the corner
I know you gave everything
But real life doesn’t begin until it’s over

You felt sand castles all around you
The tower you wanted fell
It was something that could only be true

I wanted to go where they write no letters
Who would live like that
Crying out is so much more better

You painted your body with my memory
Everyone can read what I did
I thought it meant you still wanted me

I’m not going to live only on your skin
But what my heart knows
Is love will never forget where it’s been

I never knew the word please until tonight
Now I’m ready to say it
I decided that only desperation is light

My eyes weep
The truth is so hard to bear
I wish to live only between day and night
It is the dusk that spares my tears
And so too the dawn
Like silk curtains that guard my slumber
Who would find me where time is fleeting
Not cherished
Or written about
Except as a beginning or an end
Where there is expectation or wistfulness
Never contentment
But for this I must pray
The end must be near
So to the beginning of hope
No matter how far the journey
It is only that it exists

Sometimes I want to wake up
But I cannot
I am conscious
Without form
Only feeling
Misty hazy despair
Inside a smoke glass coffin
But not a cocoon
I can see what it is that I am
Though desperation cannot hear me
And freedom cannot see me

Would it be that we were loved
Would it be that nomads had a mother
Would it be that we even knew our own name

Whatever is in my heart will wait
But for what is unknown except for life itself
We are the ones who must hope for a savior
Unnamed but true
For love is all we know
And the worth that man sees in our will to live

i cannot speak their language, but
it is strong in my heart;
i saw a child
and i knew then that my heart was the same;
to cross the sand or a river is to make a better life;
but is it to change history or to reclaim it?
is there no remedy?
the movement of the people has always been so,
but the one thing we will not do is sin
and expect to be forgiven;
it is our decision and his life;
he did not ask to go,
now he cannot stay;
the river does not know who suffers the most;
still it rises and falls in the hearts of the helpless;
the only culture we have is the one that changes;
that is freedom;
the only love or hate that is honest,
is what i say to their children
for a child, life;
for his father, pride;
i am not the law, instead
i am light,
because i choose light;
but i am also darkness,
because i hide behind the fear of being wrong,
instead of the courage of compassion;
the fight is in our heart and mind;
it is the way we choose to live and die
these people who cross;
why are they here?
we know why;
is there anyone so strong
who would live where they are not wanted?
is there anyone so weak
who would be afraid of their children?

he asked her a question
that made her want to walk away
it was something about the truth
she had just met him
it was already too heavy
he told her
he didn’t change clothes in a phone booth
he didn’t
ride white horses down main street
he just wanted to fall in love
before the sun went down

she couldn’t see it
but she felt it all the same
he didn’t have the time
still he had the heart
would it be enough
his eyes revealed no regret
he felt one thing only
the strength to be alone

she never answered
she had her own problems too
she decided he was an honest man
growing older meant a lot of things
what did she mean to him
love is a stranger sometimes
it was up to her
it always was
the men are always willing
but she wanted to wait
to watch one more sunrise

she wanted his aggression
even if she turned him down
no man was worth his fears
how could he handle her?
if he was afraid of rejection
then he was not strong enough
if only he knew it would work
but beauty makes you wait

You have to be willing
To have your heart broken
You have to be willing
To hate me someday
If you want my love today

You already know I’m willing
To have my heart broken
You saw that in my smile
But why wait until someday
When we can find love today

I want all of you
That’s why I say these things
If you hold back
I’ll know it
And then someday
Will be today

You can’t love a man halfway
You can’t just wait and see
Do you want to ride your fears?
Or do you want to ride with me?

I can see it’s what you want
You’re tired of being afraid
You don’t know where to start
Why don’t we begin today?

I want all of you
That’s why I say these things
If you hold back
I’ll know it
And then someday
Will be today


Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona

I want to give you flowers
Red lilies from the window atop a windmill
Where your fantasies are made real
If only you would go there with me
The vase though is not what I want
I want the moment in your eyes
The instant when you believe in me

And there they are
Alone by the window, longing for Holland
Is it possible that you have forgotten
It is hard to live life as a movie
To know that this really means that
But  flowers in a darkened room know
They knew because the water was cold

I want to live my life with yours
I would sleep in the other room, a year or more
Flowers have nothing in common with obligation
But only what you believe is what matters
The rest of my life is open
The soil awaits the seeds you hold in your hand
I thought the flowers might remind you

I really want to know
Why would anyone have children
If they knew how afraid it would make them feel?
But then we ask for more
Because the fear is the only thing that makes life real

Who lives on the dark side
But smiles walking down mean streets?
She brings her own eyes to see the light and nothing else
The flowers don’t know any better
And neither does a girl who doesn’t believe hope melts

I really want to know
What are the things you won’t tell me
Did you decide to wait before you forget your last boy?
I said don’t hold my hand right now
So you went out alone but you weren’t anybody’s toy

It makes no difference
If we found gold on the land
We don’t climb mountains just because of the view
I could remember it more than once
But instead I live it because it reminds me of you

Is it the reflection of my heart in your eyes
Or the light you bring to my life?
It’s a room I enter every time I think of you
As I close the door behind me
I wonder why anyone would ever leave such a place

Is it you who gave your heart away
Or did I just reach inside you and take it for myself?
It’s a selfishness that is stronger than lust
As I force you to notice me
I wonder how anyone would ever let you go

Is it the beating of my heart that keeps me awake
Or am I afraid of the dream?
It’s a moment I always regret
As I awaken and you’re not with me
I wonder why anyone would ever live inside a fantasy

I know
Or maybe I just think
I can't really judge
Culture is what we make of it
We own it
It says something about us
But my music
Is it really better?
Or is it because of the times
I can listen to something new
In my room
Or in a crowd of young people
But I'm not young anymore
So it has to be connected to something else
Something important to me
So is it the music
Or is it what I was doing at the time?
I once was part of the scene
Now I'm an observer
It doesn't matter what I say
Or what I know
So I'll just stay in my lane
I won't drive too fast
Or make a statement just to do it
I know I'm different
Why do I have to prove it to anyone?
I don't get off on that anymore
I don't trust anyone based on their age
I don't distrust anyone based on their age
I just listen
Then I decide
I know if it's of any value
Not to define their worth
But instead their willingness to be honest about themselves
It takes time
Sometimes there's not enough
And they move on
So it was just a point in time
And they may not even remember you knew them like that
When they were trying to prove their worth
And they didn't even know what it was
Or how to do it
They just wrote a novel in the way they spoke
But the pages will be discarded when they grow up
I'll just wait until that time
Because then they will know what I know
And that is that we really can't judge
Who's going to help the world anyway
What can you do except live?

I followed the sunlight to a closed window
But my soul requires no opening
Neither my heart
As the will to live passes through all mediums
The barrier between extremes
Opaque or transparent
No matter,
Life offers only the choice to cope
And as the light carried the weight of all expectation
Misting dust reflections without a home
Gathered upon a falling feather
The wistful cry of a bird, shedding its past
Frightening the wind,
Silenced, while natures wing absorbs all our fears
The distance, so far away,
It seemed as if a rainbow was laying on the sand
To my eyes what was true
Was the same as a small square of blue,
The only clue a prisoner has of the outside world
But I cannot falter,
For we are not promised all knowledge
Only faith
It is as the light,
The answer to our own darkness
The truth that shadows cannot deny

I remember the feeling
Of walking into clouds that were bleeding
That’s the kind of love I always needed
The kind that comes and goes
You followed me all over
Watering me until I grew older
But what I finally realized about you
Was a memory that never grows

If you knew me once
I’m not that way anymore
You always lived in the past
But that’s not what tomorrows for

I remember the meaning
Of chasing clouds that were leaving
That’s the kind of love I always hated
The kind that comes and goes
You made me follow you all over
Denying me because I was older
But what I finally realized about you
Was a future that never knows

If you knew me once
I’m not that way anymore
You always talked about tomorrow
But that’s not what you wanted me for

So you have a new boyfriend
How about that
He likes everything you like
At least he’s smart enough to try
Maybe in ten years you’ll know if he was serious

So you have a new lover
How’s it feel this time
I won’t tell him the things you did
Maybe he thinks like I do
He’s the only man  to make you love like you do

Make sure baby
Make sure it’s love
You look too good for honesty
A man will promise anything
To make love to you

So you think you’re in love
How would you know
Loneliness is nothing to compare love to
But if you’re trying to forget me
Look into his eyes, I will be waiting for you there

You can’t make your bed with our sheets
I took them home with me
I didn’t wash them because it’s your memory
I’ll bring them back someday
But first you have to love him instead of me

Make sure baby
Make sure it’s love
You look too good for honesty
A man will promise anything
To make love to you

She knew then
War is hell
On God's green earth
She heard Satan’s bell
The men approached
An officer and a priest
She fell to her knees
Her joy deceased
Her prayers betrayed
All the good lost
Silently hoping
Knowing freedom's cost
The ultimate sacrifice
To give up a son
And now he is gone
How can she live on
To tell a mother
Of her grievous loss
There are no words
Only another cross

As she plummets
Into the abyss
The spirit moves
Delivering a silent kiss
Her life shattered
The garden forgotten
Dinner has become cold
Will her heart ever soften?
Hatred where there was love
Bitterness all she can feel
As their lips moved
Words shock does conceal
She stares into the night
Nails piercing her memories
His face the shattered mirror
Where she found all her worries
Floating in front of the bullet
She wipes his brow
There is nothing in this life
Nothing matters now
She covers his pale body
As the blood of life flows
He shivers touching her hand
She smiles because she knows

The mercenary
Loves his mother
It is her special place
There is no other
Did he call for her?
Did he have time to cry?
Or did death give him leave?
An honorable way to die
His duty to his country
Planted the seeds of pride
Now he is dead
She wondered if soneone lied
Is it time for anger
To walk down hatred’s trail?
She prayed every night
Hoping for a holy veil

"I pray for my son
Oh Lord remember his name
Spare him a short journey
Do not give Satan true aim
Return him to me
The one who bore the pain
I only ask for life
All mothers ask the same"

And now her prayer
Has become profane
What once passed her lips
Will never be spoken again
Can she turn the other cheek
For the unknown ******
Or for his “superior” officer
Who gave the order to the killer
Was he expendable
As a stone over the breach
Did the others to climb
Leaving the dead on the beach?
Did his killer survive?
Or is his mother bitter?
The sons of ambition
Are now only its litter
Glory is no solace
As we struggle with a memory
Life must go on
But not in a cemetary
Did one more death
Win the war?
He was proud to go
Now she wonders what for

She is gone now
Whispering at the end
We were not there
Flowers we did not send
She never saw butterflies
Or heard birds each day
She only thought of her son
Hoping God knew the way

I watch my own son
He smiles with his friends
I wonder about the flag
That covers our sins
It was folded for her
Forever never to wave
Will it sit in a drawer?
Whose life will it save?
Can I offer him for freedom?
As Abraham offered Isaac?
I cry as I feel the shame
Courage is what lack
Did her son die in vain?
Will my son soon follow?
Or will I spit out
The pill others swallow?
How can I comfort
A woman I never knew?
Tell me the answer
What should I do?
I ask you the same
What would you do?
There are no answers
You love your son too
So as we fall silent
I will pray over how she bled
Hoping never to see lips move
Telling me my son is dead

I can see forever in your eyes
You have become the sun and stars
Where dreams and memories fill my skies
Held together by your heart
I wondered what it might say
But I know they will always stay
Even if I watch for them alone

I can feel forever in your arms
A blanket covering my body
Where the night can cause no harm
Lying still there is nobody
That can make me stray
And I know your love holds sway
Inside a life that needs a home

I can live forever in your memory
A dream that can never end
I am still how you remember me
That is why you are my friend
Even if my heart lost its way
It hears your voice even to this day
Because your love laid the path I roam

Once again someone writes the word
While others say how absurd!
But I will always remind the world
That one day the freedom flag will be unfurled

Why must this song be heard again and again?
Dylan, Osborne and Bono, a message they send
Beaten down, poets tire of the world's ambivalence
Actions and not words will bring us deliverance

You always have the power and desire to ****
Destroying our world and souls, you never have your fill
You perpetuate your greed and your evil nature
Mankind, once again, weeps and prays for a savior

I don’t want to die anymore for your ambition
We are all chained pathetically to this human condition
You almost succeeded in brainwashing my mind
But in the end you will be surprised to find

That the meek truly have the souls that live
And to the hate makers, the underworld shall give
A flood of fire and pain swelling up from below
And you will suffer for eternity as history will show

I know my judgments are wrong as the book clearly states
But my words are echoed by many as mankind hates
The helplessness that envelops our ultimate destiny
So we sing again and again about your atrocity

You ask who am I to be so angry?
I have not suffered as have many
And I say yes this is quite true
But your lies need to be brought into view

One person with a mind that says “Enough!”
Can spring the world to action and make it tough
On those who lie and hate in the face of our humanity
It is time for all to step away from the cavity

Of fear and bewilderment of men who are wrong
So see the power of truth in another mad song
And let me help you point the finger at my insanity
I’ll save you the trouble of destroying my credibility

For I have the warming machine and drive it for miles
I’m sure this revelation will bring the smiles
To the face of those who say “look at him”
We only **** to protect his need and whim

For living as an American with his right to be free
Why are we wrong to provide him his sanctuary?
But no! I hate what I have become
Soft, detached, spoiled, my mind coming undone

So in my self-loathing I bring judgment with me
I’ll accept unworthiness as a mantle to pillory
But you can no longer contain my mind
I am leaving your ability to intimidate behind

I am no longer impressed by all of your gain
Your power, glory and way of life only causes pain
In the sense that you bring the world no relief
Your consuming and acquiring nature only causes grief

It seems I martyr myself in front of God each day
Judging you and giving comfort to those you slay
I want to delegate it all to someone like Jesus
But it's hard to ignore how you deceive us

Turning the other cheek is for better men than I
It is time for deliverance, we will no longer cry
It is not a message that I reject
It’s just that you do not deserve the respect

Have I given you the moral superiority?
Because I do not speak with God’s purity?
What did you expect from the sheep you control?
Another Gandhi, King or Mandela to foil?

Your inhuman need continues to achieve your aim
I act crazy giving you someone to blame
For deviant behavior that requires your solution
That masks your true self and the evolution

Of your subtle and sophisticated way of survival
Insidiously maintaining your ability to suppress our revival
You see three steps ahead and control the message
You put your arm around me which I know is a presage

Of your plan to gently move me on my way
So you can continue to smile and make us obey
Your message of fear and patriotic chains
The only thing that concerns you is disposing our remains

I am driven by my two children
Of which life awaits to rid them
Of their innocence and wonderful thought
It makes me sick knowing they may be bought

This message has become filled with hate
I must depart before it becomes too late
For me to recapture the joy that is in my heart
So, soon I will begin to start

The recovery of God’s message of love and peace
I will likely allow you to lurk and fleece
Me of my mind, soul and future place
In America, the idea that time cannot erase

Because someone like me will come to the fore
To say “that is wrong,” we will open the door
To a brotherhood of man that respects each human being
And champions freedom, love and is capable of seeing

That those who are too clever for us will always remain
In the world to rule and drive our earthly train
Of money, power and greed for their enjoyment
While we starve and look for gainful employment

So, I say yes, my hate and love is a dichotomy of confusion
But my words have helped me reach a conclusion
I want to be meek and good to all the others
So forgive my glare as I return to my brothers

As I simultaneously judge and forgive
Know that I will never sleep and allow you to live
With impunity in the ways that mankind abhors
My words will always be there to identify the ******

Lest I encourage others to act as you have heard
You must know that I do not reject God’s word
I merely remind that my emotions are weak
I do not invite anyone to hurt as I speak

I have decided in my own arrogant string
That controlling the man in the mirror is one thing
But to allow another to hurt an innocent being
Is just as wrong as the judgment you are reading

I walked away
From a time and a place
You moved on
And tried to leave me no trace

But I can’t pretend
It’s your tracks I’m following
I can’t pretend
It’s the past I’m still swallowing

Letting her go
I knew it wouldn’t be easy
Now I know
She’s not the only one who’s crazy
Time said no
The days stopped trying to please me
You said so
I realized how lonely life can be

I came to say
How we learn when it’s too late
You said I’m wrong
I’m just not accepting our fate

I can’t pretend
It’s the past I’m still following
I can’t pretend
It’s your memory I’m still swallowing

Letting you go
I knew it wouldn’t be easy
Now I know
She’s not the only one who’s crazy
Time said no
The days stopped trying to please me
You said so
I realized how lonely I can be

You walk
And wait
With aimless expectation
As love kisses the moon
Unaware
You turn the covers
For the night
While the kiss
Is blown to you
Silently touching your heart
Coloring your dream slumber
With a promise
For your awakening
When you will see
Lost feelings... drifting
In the sky
That covers your life
Feelings
Wandering aimlessly
Until you collect them
With your eyes
And put them to rest
Inside your heart
Opening the door
Inviting the moon's silent kiss
To live forever
Where the marriage
Of feelings and a kiss
Will remain
While the sky
And the moon
Give... and give
More... and more
Filling the gap
Between you
And me

i saw a light skipping across a deep blue sea
It’s the same as the one i saw in the desert sands
where many distant dreams pilgrim all my pleas
reflections change but we don’t know how it works
transparent or not we hold the truth in our hands
the storm I see now is where your dark side lurks

you came on like the weather nobody can project
wave after wave shallow and deep at once they came
i grabbed the mast when I realized you were a wreck
was it solid ground waiting or a wooden ship floating
you could say it’s neither or either but it feels the same
the stress of the deciding is like sand and wind blowing

i stopped thinking about double pain windows and prayers
an open heart is an island where hurricanes refuse to atone
remorseless broken glass dips into the blood of my nightmares
every faded scar begs for loneliness to finally accept its fate
but nothing built upon these shores was made to walk alone
and i will believe once again in a reflection of love and not hate

Where confusion robs consciousness
Is in the choosing
Of the wrong mask
A rapacious avatar
To live the life of meaningless existence

Is it better to be nothing
With nothing
But freedom
And the need
For nothing but your true essence?

To follow a path set before you
By those who thought they understood
But cannot live your life
Creates the bond
To perpetual acquiescence

We who know of these things
Yet follow in your path
Continue to discover
Again and again
The cold pale rot of ambivalence

And in the final awakening
Shedding all that we know
Returning to the womb
To choose the time of our rebirth
We break water in your presence

Water becomes tears becomes love
And becomes you
To carve your path
No matter the obstacle
No matter the resistance

I’m not going to rest
The last moment is not who I am
Neither will be the next one
I’m going to invent myself every day
There’s always more work to be done

I don’t look where I’ve been
I just carry it with me
There’s no need to throw anything away
Even my mistakes have meaning
That’s what I remember the most anyway

Don’t think I can’t love you more than her
I don’t have to make a resolution
There’s always a bird flying by
When they leave I wonder if lonely is being free
Is that why I am happy to see an empty blue sky?

The good thing is I know where it all began
And if I can’t take you there then
I’ll bring it to you except it will be new
And when you ask me about her
My heart will tell you what’s true

Let’s feel the pain and the joy
That will be our paradise
We will know how to live a real life
There are no longer any  storms that we fear
Turn your back on me now; I threw away my knife

It is your decision
How do you want to live?
Clinging to what is wrong for you
To assuage your loneliness?
Or facing your fears
And taking control of your life?
There is always an answer
You are too beautiful to settle
Love and loyalty
A virtue and a curse
You have made no vow to God
You only have a feeling
And one day you will discover your gifts
But how far away will they be?
There is no time to love what cannot learn for itself
It is instead time to love what is worthy of you
If only you believed in you

Our eyes met for a moment
But you looked away
Our eyes met again
And your heart began to obey

You act distracted
Your friends ask "What's wrong?"
You say, "Nothing"
But your heart hears my song

Your eyes told me
I knew you were mine
Your eyes told me
They gave me the sign

I know what you're thinking
You can't give yourself away
But this time you did
And your pride you did betray

Your eyes told me
I knew you were mine
Your eyes told me
They gave me the sign

Yeah...your eyes say you're mine
Even though you looked away
Yeah... your eyes say you're mine
There's not much else to say

Every man knows
How a girl acts
Instead of letting it show
She'd rather cover her tracks

You tried so hard
To not look my way
But I saw what I saw
You gave yourself away

Your eyes say you're mine
Even though you looked away
Your eyes say you're mine
There's not much else to say


Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona

All that can be touched
And seen
Renders the verdict
All that cannot be seen
Or touched
Sows mankind's conflict
Stranger upon stranger
Bound by pride
And certainty's cause
In mortal combat
To demonize each other
Reaping evil's laws
No delusion
Or assurance
Can be true
When we hate
And ****
For what either will do
There is no master
Of a man's heart
Other than his own
And in preservation
Of one another
We may atone
For yesterdays end
And tomorrows death
In the face of our present reality
It is all we have
Unless we believe
That the true myth is our humanity

In the tower, as a prisoner surrounded
by  walls of flesh and blood; to etch upon
the walls, my innocence and guilt; how
my mind was mistreated by all who had
mistreated their own; what was I to expect
from a life that offers nothing except pain
at birth, life then death; what principles
are offered except riddles by those who
do not care to hear the warnings of
freedoms scattered before them like the
blackened eyes of serpents whose bodies
continue to writhe though separated from
their own minds by the sharpened axes
of each generation that will see the truth
only in ways that make them feel whole

The holiest time of captivity, when our old
wounds gather together; when we know
we are all of these, we begin to speak  
calmly of them, proud of what we know
of our strength in the faith that the sun  
will shine upon us no matter the clouds  
that have gathered, defusing the dewy
stars to make shadows warning those
who laugh at the bravery of peace and  
the truth no matter who may speak it;
for darkness is always reserved for fools
who can only see today as if the sunrise
is afraid to be the one who forgives first,
while we, in the sight of a cross for  life
and a stone for death make the choice
to live for the harmony of love as we
were taught; to share the whole of our
existence with those who once made
us think of hate

I have already risen
I have already fallen
I only want to stand again
Next to another friend
Who’s already risen
Who’s already fallen
Who’s ready to stand again
To walk where it might end
To walk where it might begin
But to be a true friend
Never reject the message I send
Or judge the heart that lies within

La puesta del sol se cayó para ti de nuevo
As you looked to the West
I turned my back
I wanted to see if you could make the sun rise

Que estas buscando mi querida
I see you longing for something
That is why I must wait for you to decide
What am I compared to a dream that paints the skies

Entonces es mejor esperar que perderte
I’ll be around like this thing upon which you travel
It’s so far beyond the horizon
It’s become my life to imagine the reason for your cries  

Me miraste a los ojos, todavía buscas
Why must you make me wonder
It is how a woman must live needing to be convinced
I’m not asking you to trust my words, just my eyes

We are drifting apart my friend
Is it because of a woman?
Maybe it is in some way
For what dims our light, reminds
Of promises I made one night
We cannot talk about it
But our friendship reads minds
We do not judge one other
We are able to turn back time
And though will never forget
Between men of weakness
Knowing is where we meet again

You are by day my friend
But she is by night
You offer what you are
She offers dark and light
No tears for losing a friend
Only sadness in the desert
No calm for losing a wife
Only pain when seas part
The heart will break bread
With both sand and water
And while the dust that rises
Lives in the minds of two men
The seas upon which I must sail
Render the verdict between life or sin