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ylruceiram May 2016
Keeping everything at bay
Forcing the smiles to stay
Why is it so hard to disagree
When every inch of my being agrees

Pitch black darkness is all I see
The brightness of the light I can never foresee
What is expected to be left
When hope is not even there

Desperate to drink an ounce of happiness
Even though it produces another liter of agony
Why is the world so cruel
To an undeserving person like *me
  Apr 2016 ylruceiram
Nina O'Donovan
Fig
There is a place
in you
that needs a name
but you're an absolute beginner
at naming things.
Centred in this pathos, I've never known

whether to create stillness or bitter passion.
In this, there is a sacrifice,
something to see through to the end.

The openness I sometimes extract
can break me down.
Is it better
to find a way to say it?
Would it be better to hang for it

or to forget
how the fig is fertilised?
In its sweetness,
to forget
the distaste of undermining friendship.
I have stretched myself into the past.

I have stretched my body
to see the places it could end.
Vein bubbles
from where it started,
wet bloodgasps;
sorry smear of a poem

they write your name next to.
History repeats, all that's left;
neutrality at the cost of
a better passion,
and the count of
how many ribs you have and how many you've lost.

I abuse my fingers
and still expect them to carry me through.
There's always a way
to see trauma as something to crawl into.
ylruceiram Apr 2016
The fat and short one
Extremely different from everyone
Intensely pushed to the side
Scampering away to hide
Whimpering in that little corner

Sobbing till sunrise fades
Smiling till sunset starts
What a cruel world
Nothing's left unsold

No she's not unique
She's the one no one would ever pick
Helplessly embracing the thought
Of being alone in her own boat
ylruceiram Apr 2016
Weeping silently in pain
Crying so hard though's nothing to gain

Wanting everything to burn
Just to ease the raging forlorn

Running away from everything
Seems like the best way out

Like a fire losing its flame
The lives finally fade

When will we ever learn?
That we'll never know
The never-ending trap of grief we can't escape.  It's bound to us for as long as we feel.
ylruceiram Apr 2016
Walking on this cruel world
One cannot be bold
Fake truths are hidden
Real lies are flaunted

Authentics are hardly  distinguished from synthetics
True ones are mingled with the sinners
Pure ones are tainted with the abominations

Masks flew from one face to the other
Hiding from one problem to the other
When will we stop?
*When will this end?
People just acting like people.
  Apr 2016 ylruceiram
PaperclipPoems
I'm not lonely because I am alone,
I'm lonely because I have these feelings that I can't share. I can't trust anybody enough to let them into my head. I'm lonely because I hurt alone. Because I suffer alone.
I'm lonely because I hide when I cry. Because I grew up learning how pain is such a weakness. How nobody wants to see it. How nobody cares enough to help.
I'm lonely because I searched for love for so long and only found hate. I wanted love but found emptiness. I wanted to feel loved but only felt used.
I'm lonely because I was raised alone. And now they want to love me, but I'm left with loneliness that lingers.
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