When finishing my art course, I saw some options, stay in my home town with my family and either work or take a new course or move away to pursue something else.

I realistically didn’t want to go to a big university. I feel I need someone’s guidance a little more when learning and in a room with over 500 different students all trying to do the same, it becomes difficult. So I stayed and was offered to join a Digital Film Production course. I loved the idea! I love art, music, I genuinely adored animation too, so I thought why not dust off film and give it a shot?

I didn’t actually initately like film when I considered enrolling, which leads to people to most likely scream ‘Why did you take this risk then?’, because I wanted to. I wanted to learn about it, even if I originally didn’t care. I wanted to learn something different.

When arriving at my course, I made friends with some unique characters. Some different to many others I’ve ever met before. It was a relief.

People often try too hard to either be different or fit in. It’s really not worth the time. It’s best to be who you want to be in reality and for me, it was tough to get a grip of that initately until I met these people.

They showed me that what we like, shapes us. We become what we adore, hate, fear etc. We’re all pretty unique, but in being unique itself, makes us the same. So when we define what is ‘different’ to what is ‘normal’, what do we say?

The only time someone seems different to you is because of the following:
    • They are mentally different
    • They are physically different
    • They liked things you originally would have liked, not liked or don’t know of.
...and a lot more at that!

It’s a really complicated topic to think about.
I think in reality, it’s just better to not lie about what makes you unique. Find things you like yourself, express how much you like those things or want to do those things! Imitating isn’t always bad, since imitation is what teaches us a lot of things in life but never feel afraid to add your own extra spice of individuality to what you do.

So this poem I was looking into the idea of following the structure of a Riddle, I didn’t originally intend for the numbered parts of the poem, but I thought the list structure added to it.

I had just lost someone I considered a ‘love of my life’, I lost some friends, others started genuinely picking on me. I was livid. I know it wasn’t the friend I had the conflict with in particular, but I envied someone I knew for the worst thing ever.

Not having emotion.

I wanted to limit myself, I wanted to stop feeling because I felt maybe my feelings were the reason why everything tore itself apart (when in reality, it was faults on both sides, including mine).  I discovered a new love, work. I actually adore work to this day, but I know sometimes I do have to restrict myself otherwise it becomes an unhealthy amount.

During this time, my channel started becoming viral (or more or less, it was very active) and in reality it was a lot to handle at a younger age; It’s why whenever I see younger youtubers leave, I can understand why they do.  

One thing that bothered me for years to come was the fact someone a long time ago stated I was always playing ‘Victim’ when in reality that individual barely acknowledged me as a person. So, I actually thought I was in the wrong and tried to stop feeling, everything. It nearly worked.

The saddening thing is how much people can impact insecure individual’s lives. I was severely insecure at this point of time and saying these things left me to believe I was always the problem, even when I wasn’t. So when I started limiting my emotions, it became almost easier to ‘Get over it’.

But I missed it all! I missed being happy at something I liked! Hating something I hated! I loved those emotions, but at one point it genuinely felt impossible to feel most of those emotions. Depression didn’t help either, as much as I hate to say that.

My friends was an interesting write admittedly. If there is something I love the most in life it is my friends. I treasure them so dearly.

When I came across Kennings poetry, I had never attempted it before and it was so fun to just give it a try, I tried my best to revolve the words chosen around my friends and their interests.

‘Day-appetizers’ was the most fun admittedly, I liked the concept it gave; if you had no idea what to do with your day (metaphor for dinner), you could have an appetizer and see where it leads. In other words, I would hang out with my friends and my days would unfold and I never regret a single day with them all.

I am friends with many artists, music-makers and in general, I love being around people of creative tastes. However, I’d have to admit, life would be boring if we only were around those of our interests. I do love the positive vibes this poem radiates, it feels very accurate to how much I adore my friends.