I can hear the walls move.
Edging in.
The wind calling,
The wind pushing,
At the box I'm in.
This storm will dislodge
My perfect world.
I know it will happen.
*I can hear the walls move.

Because I can't stand watching you die.
Every night in my dreams,
A new, terrifying and numbing way.

Slam in your head,
Slam your glass down.
Slam your fist
Into the closest wall.
Slam once again,
Slam for the pain.
Slam for hurt
Or nothing at all.

give me one good reason why i should ever make a change
cause baby if you want me then all of this will go away

I know you're really down right now,
And I don't know how to help,
So here's a little set of words
To show you're not alone.

We could build a pillow fort,
Or swear at passers by.
Raid the fridge, get really ill
Or write some stuff like this:3

Ohgod, I'm sorry
I forgot I wasn't
Supposed to talk
To you anymore.
Right.
Sorry, right.
I'll leave.
Sorry.

The wind blows the clouds across the sky.
As they go, they reveal the moon,
Shining down a sacred light,
A white light,
A borrowed light.

The ropes pull the curtain over our heads.
As it rises, it reveals two girls,
Grinning into blinding light,
A stage light,
A borrowed light.

The hand in yours pulls me along.
As we go, we reveal the world,
I see it through your light,
A pure light,
Perfect light.

Hours revising
Days and days
Sit in the chair
***** up the words
You know this ****, right?

Guess what?
Hours revising
Days and days
Doesn't mean you
Read the question right.

I'm falling down at the same time as you
So take my hand and at least
When we hit the bottom,
We'll have something to cling to.
It won't make us rise faster
But at least we might stand a chance.

Because thinking the way you do,
Makes you upsetting and you upset.
People can't handle you
And so you can't handle you.

So then you conform
To being the right kind of odd
And your deviant thoughts
Leave everyone else alone.

So no one notices
your thoughts ripping
At the seams of your life because
**They're all having the same problem.

Hell will find us
Asleep on our beds
While we dream
Of the life we're losing

Isn't it adorable
That you believe
Having a faith makes
You closer to god.

If he indeed is real
He designed us
To think for ourselves
And crave knowledge.

So we found knowledge
But the stories
Noted by his kid's
Minions hold us back

Knowledge and faith
Are different things
Have faith, and knowledge
But don't **** on one thought just cause its not yours

I've yet to find a religion
That doesn't shun the others,
Just because their god has a different name.

I've yet to find a religion
That doesn't say everyone's entitled
To their own view as long as its the same as theirs.

I've yet to find a religion
That doesn't condemn women
To being inferior just because god's a dude (apparently.)

I've yet to find a religion
That doesn't insist its followers
Do unto others as theyd have done unto them.


I've yet to find a religion
That doesn't disregard that rule
When it suits them to ignore "gods" words.

The guilt I bare for breathing in,
Is half what I feel for breathing out.
And if this turns out to be a waste of pixels,
It'll join the wasted air up there.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh C'thulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

Day in, day out
This is what we do
Running around in circles
Running around in doubt.

We hide behind the curtains,
We hide beneath the stairs
We hide behind all that we aren't,
Just to avoid the stares.

We wait for them to find us,
Its all we ever do
Cause all the while the person lost
is only ever you

If someone gave me a crystal light catcher,
I'd probably break it.
The light would be thrown how chance wanted,
Not the craftsmen.
I'm sure it would have been beautiful to see
What they had imagined.
But chance needs an opportunity to create,
To place these shards.
Throw them across the floor as they fragment.
It has seconds
To choose what it'll create.

noose**
My chest deflated after the breath I drew;
My last breath.
The rope pulls tight about my neck;
The unbruised skin.
Red from the blush of humiliation
Which everyone sees.
It turns to blue as my body cools
On the table.
The people who care have said their
Goodbyes to me.
And the peace I've found will last.
It has to.

i dont pretend to not be self obsessed,
i crave attention and am selfish.
but being selfish isn't a bad thing,
provided thought its thrown for others.
i don't mean to make you feel like
i hate the idea of selfishness,
i believe that in quite a few cases
its better than living for others.
but i never meant to make you feel
that i thought i was a level above
everything that you are
for  i believe that I'm at least
two levels bellow you
because i am selfish
and I'm sorry for it.

Fullstop is the name of this poem,
Fullstop is the last word, too.
For isn't that the way life is?
You can't have a capital letter
Sans a fullstop.

Let's drop a glass on the floor, shall we?
Watch it fall.
Focusing on it, the deliberate loosening
Of your hand.
Did the wine inside catch the light?
Did it reflect?
Did you see your eyes, your face?
That small smile.
The smile that shows you know how loud
This will be.
Do you see the base of the glass kiss
The marbled ground?
The first splinter moves up the stem; your
Smile gets bigger.
Splinters spread and the wine blooms
From the cracks.
But no one looks around to see what
The noise was.
They carry on their lives while you
Expect to be
The centre of something for once in
A long while.
You want to turn heads in a room
While you smash.

One's for stress
The other for sleep
This for sadness, crying
That for anger, shouting
One result
It hurts like hell
Thud goes your brain
Deep breath
Let go of the pain.

Thud, goes your brain
Sitting in class
The teacher drills
We repeat each thud
Our brains
Knocking like our fingers
Tapping atop the table
Can we go yet?

Thud goes your brain
Take paracetamol
Medicate thought
Desensitize.
Copy, repeat
Coffee, revise
Thud goes your brain
Again.

Click, click, clicking away,
Finding ourselves each day?
Tip tap typing a search,
come on men, quick march!
forward into the google bar,
Let's YouTube who we are
Cause God knows what we find inside
makes us want to hide.

when we arrive
we don't need a welcome
we don't want a meal
we don't have a gift
we bring ourselves
and you bring yours

when you meet us
you don't need a fuss
you don't want a party
you don't have an expectation
you bring yourselves
and we bring ours

for while we want and need and have,
when I see you and you me,
I hope.

A body of water with a single bird atop,
That one meaning is known about,
But others might never find it.

Break the wings of the bird, tie them,
That the bird may never flee,
But the meaning is disfigured.

Give the bird a new tune to sing,
Take its meaning away,
But what it stood for doesn't change.

In a sea of words we drown,
Being pulled down into their depths
By the weight of them
But a single phrase can help us
To rise again from the meaningful words
Which lost their meaning.

"Love", " hate", "sorry".
We use them so much that when
In a moment of passion
They mean as little as a light breeze.
Gone so quickly, without being cherished.

But if used carefully, that breeze
Could conduct a storm
And all the words in the sea we drown in
Couldn't stop that locution from echoing
Gliding, skipping, crashing around
In our minds as we try

To rationalise everything apart from
Hope.

so why are we called bent?
our love is as straight and true as yours.
we love in the same way you do,
even if the one we love is also a girl.

you get to be called straight,
lucky you- you dont get the ridicule.
you wont find 'benders' hating on you,
only those on the 'straight' and narrow.

the ones who think their love
is so much purer than ours

Hello and welcome to the internet,
Where everyone is brave enough
To say what a face wouldn't,
Because looking into tears,
Makes it much harder to hate,
But a glaring screen and autocorrect,
Gives you cowardice coated in bravery.

The lovely thing about written words,
Be it poetry, stories or facts
Is that what you feel
Was brought about
By twenty six letters
Rearranged and repeated
To give something pretty
To you

noose**
One day the necklace broke,
Into a piece of chain and beaded memories
The memories shattered when they hit the floor
A mushroom cloud of dust, glass and pictures.

An image of me smiling here,
And a glimpse of long lost giggles there,
But the most occurring shard,
Is of my crying for the things I've lost.

Today, you told me I was quiet when I spoke
But I sound pretty loud in my head.
Maybe its my thoughts competing Inside
That blocks what tends to come out.

The pain has been caused
The words have been spat
Like the venom of a scared snake,
I only said those things because I was scared

I would rather have shouted at a stranger
and been locked up in irons.
Instead I said said them to you and my cell
Is a padded four wall room in the centre of my mind

Its where I've put these worthless words,
That they might bounce around forever,

Because they hurt you,
Because I hurt you,
**And I can't take it back.

The desire to live as one pleases
Is not based around staying in line
Nor is it established through
Objecting to all rules you are set.

Conforming can lead you to happiness
As easily as breaking the rules
What fails to be noticed are choices
That let you decide how to live

What goes on back stage?
Beyond the gears and the wires and chords,
Is there a woman all in black in love with the lead?
Or a beautiful gentleman who was just too shy
To apply?
To go in for the singing and dancing and fear
That he might just do it all wrong.

You are not a sacrificial lamb
And I am not the victim of my own loyalty
So why does it give me no strength to be loyal
And why do I think I've got something to sacrifice in you

Its a promise we made to each other
We love unconditionally and to our up-most ability
My promise is ongoing and yours is too
I couldn't leave anything you have made of me behind

This promise is ongoing
A contract between hearts who gave until they broke
I love you with all my mind, because I can no longer trust my heart

noose**
Do you like my necklace?
I don't know what it is yet,
Is it rope?
Chain?
Bruises?
All I know is that it weighs me down
A prison cell around my throat
Keeping the bad words in.

I wear no mask, no deliberate one,
I wear a smile while I'm seen,
But don't remove it because im pretending,
While you're not looking, my face falls,
But only for while I feel lonely,
The second someone speaks to me,
I'm happy again,
And when you stop, I'm lonely once more.

Sitting in the back of a theatre,
Not knowing the production by name,
Knowing what minute the curtain will rise.
While the end of the show is untold.

If the whole worlds a stage, shouldn't you have to pay to watch my show?
As the tempest whirls around us, don't we all wish for a prince to rock up and save us?
Or is Caliban searching and hoping we'll succumb
To the horrors that fall like stars.
In a midsummer nights dream, the boys are all beauties,
All blue eyes and magic and promise.
While he plays an ***, is he mirroring us?
As we double, double, toil and trouble,
The fire burning and bubbling in the inferno we call a heart.
We call out in the dark for our Romeos
Wanting to leave our names behind us
So watch as I unfurl
Like a lily on a pond
Eight petals,
Eight walls,
My globe,
My stage.

Stop looking for it

Why romanticise something that causes so much pain?
Why say 'she took her life' when it was already hers? You cannot take something that is yours to begin with.
I know some people say they think its selfless, but what about the edge as well as the eye?
There's the eye of the storm and then there's us; was it so selfless to leave us alone?
Or the friend of that friend?
Or the stranger that heard?
There's never going to be one person that suicide hurts, just like ripples, or waves, or bombs.
The world is affected.