I have made a home
for the sadness living inside me
I have fed it with my fears
it has grown strong on my doubts
in return it gave me nothing
instead taking all it could;
my smiles
my strength
my sanity
until I am left barren and empty
a shadow of myself
a crumbling shell of a house
that depression claims as home

Finally, I learnt to dance
And to freely express

Finally, I learnt to sing
And to speak up for myself

Finally, I learnt to believe
And to have faith in me

Finally, I learnt to love
And accept my flaws

Finally, I learnt to live
I am now a free soul

Lonely is
As lonely can be
Where is the soul
Made just for me

Missing parts
And wasted years
Broken heart
River of tears

Trapped outside
Looking in
Jaded fears
Thin my skin

Stiff upper lip
Smile through the pain
Hiding in shadows
Left by the rain

Poetry comes from the heart and soul
At times it is revealing
Laying bare inner most secrets
Others, it is concealing
Misleading the reader
To the truth of what is deep within
Poetry
It is truth
It is deceit
A mystery
Or just plain spoken
Poetry
Is whatever you want it to be
A song you hope captures the moment

Kelly Rose
© September 16, 2017

I gotta
say a few things
before I go
to sleep

I gots this urge
you know
this welling up
inside me

I wish I could hug everyone
every soul every ****** one of you
I want to kiss  
a few

I just don't have time

I stole this tune from a mockingbird
Where outside my window he was perched
I kept the rhythm added rhyme
And the words, well they're all mine

The song he sang was a happy one
I think he got from another bird in love
When you whistle love it's hard to keep
So much so it inspired me

The tune I kept inside my head
Until there was no whistle in my whistle left
That's when in my mind I did decide
I needed to add a few rhyming lines

But I kept the tune of the mockingbird
Just thought it could use a few good words
Cause words can be a powerful thing
When added to a bird that sings

Kisses sent to the moon and beyond
blown with a breath on a heartbeat
Why do the stars drift so far?
why do you hide amongst them so well?
To you, wherever you are,
sitting atop my lucky star
the one with the Halo burning bright
can you feel my love tonight?
Do you hear my deepest wish
jump a little star or two closer,
If only just a while, to close the distance between you and I
to capure some small pulse of your resonance
So that I might respire,
In the absence of your burning touch and heavenly fires
That set alight the ache, of long held desires
a kiss on the breath of a heart beat,
hunts the space of time
for a flicker in the hopes
in some small way,
I still matter...

Kisses to the moon and beyond
blown with a breath on a heartbeat
Why do the stars drift so far?

unmotherly love envelops you in all your childish ways
snickers and jealousy
emotional vampira
vacuous hole holding love at ransom
unmotherly mother
narcissim reigns over your sadistic ire
never satisfied
manipulation and cunning
pander them to exact perfect cuts of pain from me
but this is the last heart bleed
this the last compassionate faulter
I am no longer your prisoner
my babes are safe in bough of my loving arms
a million miles away from your strategic abandonment of me
your Radom spates of visitational cruelties
it spread a generation too far
you went too far
It will no longer reign
My humility is gone I am the best version of every dream you ever had
and I did it on my own
despite the cruelty of your cold
a lesson must be learned
now I'll show you a mother with a fierce love
the mother you choose not to be
a lioness crouched over her cubs guarded by claws
though capable as my other siblings seem to attest
you only have interests for their best
no more last
no more future
no more past
you don't hurt me anymore
my progeny will rise to all they aspire
challenged and sheltered  
all equally loved
a child can not be her own mother's mother
you are nothing I need, now nothing I want
my only regret is, that I didn't leave your black hole sooner.

I...I love you
I love you so much, I just can't  gather the words in my head to put together to explain.
Explain how this came about.
What? when? why? how?
How do you go from falling in love ,to being in love, to not being in love at all?
Talking just about every day,  to not talking at all.
Seeing them, to not seeing them at all.
Why do we love love, when love doesn't love us back?  
It's Complicated
It's tragic
Its a mess
I miss you!
I miss you, but only the thought of you.
I want you, but only the thought of you.
The thought of you is attractive,  but I can no longer ride the roller coaster of emotions anymore.
It's draining!
The thrill of traveling to the highest peak of the ride, arriving to cloud 9.
The Joy
The love
The laughter
Until everything comes to a stop, all hell breaks loose.
Speeding down to the gates of hell.
Stress
Heartache
Pain
Just when you think you're done, the ride still continues.
I'm tired... I'm done!!!
If I knew that I would be treated this way, I would've never chose this ride.
It's clear that you don't care!
So why should I?
I... I hate you
I hate you so much,  I CAN gather ALL the words in my head to explain.
To explain how this hate came about.