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Leia Spencer Nov 2019
I was never meant to be clean
Never to wear white
Always tarnished or stained

First it was in green
As I threw my peas to the floor
Then it went to red
As my face welled in anger and let out a wail

Then it was bright green yet again
As grass stains tore their way up my legs
And then red as my face was burned from too many days of sun

It never was anything different
Red and green, red and green
Stop and go
Never stay
Never wait
Go and stop
No slowing down

Maybe that’s why Christmas is so appealing to me
Even with all the empty promises
At least we share a color scheme

I would turn green yet again
As my face churned in jealousy
For those with what I would never have
Never get back
And I would return to red
And red and red and red
Making me go go and go further away
Further from my innocence
My childhood
The red that washed my Mother away
That wiped away my innocence as it ran down my legs for the first time
The same red that spilled from my arm as I shakily held the knife in my hand

I was never to be clean again
Too much red had come in between
With no green in sight
Nothing to keep me moving foreword
Just stopped.
Waiting.
For what, I will never know
Perhaps, for red to mean love
Or passion
And no longer for death and destruction
Anger
Maybe someday
But not today.
Today I’m still stopped. Just waiting for my time.
Forever stained.
  Oct 2019 Leia Spencer
Bob B
Someone once said that we die twice--
First, when we take our very last breath.
The flame on our candle goes out as we
Transition between life and death.

But then comes our second dying.
It’s similar but not the same.
That death occurs when someone for
The very last time says our name.

So where are extinguished flames?
What happens to the morning dew?
What effect does speculating
Have upon our point of view?

Life has many questions to ponder.
I wonder if such thoughts are freeing:
Knowing that we once had been
And not remaining attached to being.

-by Bob B (10-26-19)
Leia Spencer Oct 2019
The most
Beautiful
Harrowing
Wonderful
Horrifying
Part of being a poet
Is that
With all the words
In all the worlds
I can’t come up with the right ones
To describe the way you look at me
Or your laugh
Or your smile when you’re trying not to
And that hurts
Because you deserve so much better
Than a hopeless romantic
Who can’t even pay you a proper compliment
-Otherworldly
Leia Spencer Jul 2019
This girls got lightning behind her eyes
Storm clouds rolling through her thoughts
Thunder bursting from her throat with every laugh and every cry
She's electrifying
The sort of rain people love to dance through
Too bad she's terrified of storms
-beauty to all but herself
Leia Spencer May 2019
The thing about us English nerds
We know the sappy lines
The snappy remarks
The ones that sting just right
Or heal a cut deep in your heart
So watch out for us
Because you’ll never know
Which is which
Real or not real
Cutting or healing
Loving or hating
For it’s the actions that count
In a day and age where we communicate
Through words we see on a screen
It’s dangerous for people like you
Who listen to those who cannot be seen
Because girls who read books
Can right you anything you want.
And you won’t be able
To tell the difference.

-Good.
Leia Spencer Apr 2019
I’m burning the candle
But not at both ends
No, for in fact I have five
I’m like an old star
Ready to explode
Plain sick of being alive
Helping her and helping him
Ignoring myself for the sake of them
Some days I wonder
“Will I ever be true?”
When that day comes
Boy, will that feeling be new
It starts in my toes
Weary from walking
Igniting my fingers
Busy writing and talking
Then it gets to my head
As it makes its way down
Warming my heart
Burning my frown
I’m not saying that I want to die
But I’m spread so thin
I think “why shouldn’t I”
-A five-wicked candle
Leia Spencer Apr 2019
Eyes are supposed to be the windows to the soul
Except for hers
She looks to the sky
Getting lost in the sun
You stare at her
Never wanting to look away
But she looks to the star that shines as bright as she does
Wishing to be lost in its warmth
Losing her sight
And losing you with it
But that doesn’t matter...
You stare anyways, wishing someday
Someday
She will see again
For those with unrequited love
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