A man without
scars is like a river
without water
like a room without
a window
or a son to carry on
the name
and a man without
a woman
is a man without woe
or sand or a heart
to be broken
a man
who is dreaming only
of a tractor
and wide open
fields with no hay
to be mown.

My chest feels hollow
Spaces and craters
Where my lungs and heart
Used to be

My mind is seared
With images
I can't seem to shake
From the retina of my eye
Sort of like when you stare at a light for too long and then look away
A shadow of what once was, still there

When I look to my hands
They are shackled
To you
There's a lock
But no key

A whimper from the swollen part of my insides
Almost wants to say goodbye
But I'm shackled
To you
There's a lock
But no key

My toes burn
A fire engulfs my feet
I'm no longer a tower
I'm only crumbling to my knees

I wander
Lost at sea
Lost in you
Lost in me

I wonder
How to be
With you
Or just me

Questions
I can't answer
Haunt me
I'm shackled to you
With a lock
And no key

Tiny feathers.
Of black, white,
and softest brown.
Tiny wings fluttering.
With quiet sound.
Loud voice.
Of sweetest song.
Which can be heard.
From miles around.
"Swee, swee,"
calls the chickadee.
Handcrafted by God above,
the little chickadee
is a tiny miracle.
Of His love.

I want you to be happy but why does it hurt so much to see you happy with someone else
It hurts seeing you look at her with loving eyes because I know you'll never look at me the same way.
Those looks, smiles and touches will never be mine because I'm just the friend on the side line

those who say it's a beautiful feeling
to fall in love
have always been loved
in return

- p. winter

I'm still in love
With the way you took my hand
With how you said my name

I'm still in love
With your toothy grin
With your hearty deep laugh

I'm still in love
With the comforting hugs you gave
With how you wiped away my tears

I'm still in love
With a person already gone
With someone that's been replaced

I'm still in love
With the memories
Because, now, it's all I'll ever have.