if, surrounded by lovers,
your mind starts to hover,
to a time and place
where nothing mattered,
you may be tempted,
since you're relentless,
to visit your past affairs.

you may count every name,
and pretend you feel no shame,
but deep within, you're unhappy.
you understand your fate
but truly, as of late,
you wonder if you messed up royally.

with so many chances,
and plenty of dances,
you've managed to wind up alone.
and every time you close your eyes,
or look up into the clear night sky,
you only remember his touch.

the regret, like sadness, comes in waves,
and trying to get by every day,
has become quite exhausting.
and though your very heart is torn,
you eagerly await every storm,
because no one can see you cry in the rain.

with air turning crisp
leaves crunching beneath our feet
all is dying around us
regardless of it's beauty

as death snaps twigs
all slows to a stop
and just as night falls
his hand is on your shoulder

now, you don't fret
you've been expecting him
see, you've made a deal
and you hold up your end

with goosebumps on your skin
you turn yourself in
and as death leads you away
you maintain a sinister grin

because little does death know
you planned this all along
with guns blazing in the sky
you know you've always wanted to die.

My impending fear,
With danger near,
Only increased until I began to see myself wondering how he left without shedding a single tear.
And happiness,
My biggest weakness,
Was on a constant downward spiral into something that made even myself wish to digress.
But suddenly,
Fairly abruptly,
I began to understand how his absence brought me a soft feeling of serenity.
My excuses,
Hidden bruises,
I was reluctant to push the blame onto anyone but myself even though I didn't choose this.
People asked me,
Quite literally,
If I was aware that I smiled brighter and laughed louder now that I've had this epiphany.
And finally,
Now I can see,
I allowed myself to be taken for granted just so I wouldn't have to be lonely.
And in the end,
I recommend,
Looking inside yourself and seeing the broken bonds you must mend.

Talking to walls can substitute
A kind of feeling not absolute
I often wonder just how long I can go before I have to leak the feelings that nobody else should know
I'm not sure what kind of funk I'm in
Because I only go to sleep when the sun has risen
And I'm not sure how much more I can take of this torturous daze, I've taken blow after blow
But I know it's not your fault
And I do apologize
See, I cannot seem to recover the light in my tired eyes
And I'm afraid there's not much left in me though I've tried very hard to take their insults thinly

But I'm not as strong as you, obviously
And I'm bound to be chained down by him, indefinitely.

Trust is not given, but earned
And old bridges must be burned
But you cannot close what was never open
And life tends to favor the over-churned.
From time to time, if you may
See a whole universe in front of you
And maybe next time, per say
Pick someone by the way they look at you.
With gentle eyes
Or with contempt.
If they light up when you smile
Or when you agree with them.
Sure signs of a surely scattered lover
Should come clearer to you than this.
For instance:
          •If they seem like they don't care for you, believe them.
          •If they tend to make other plans when you schedule dinner with your parents, leave them.
          •And, if they let you go to sleep unhappy at night, retrieve their belongings from your apartment, scatter them into the streets and do not allow them to open your now-closed door.

I'd like to believe
That the sun smiles for me
Or that love is endless
And summer is everlasting
Or that happiness is just a dear drop away
Because I've been crying for days
And help isn't on its way
And I'm so afraid.
I'd like to think people mean what they say
And that there's only gonna be one cloudy day
And that, in order to grow, we all need a little rain
But I look at myself and I'm so ashamed.
Nobody tells you, when you're born,
That your heart will be torn
And you may wish for sweet relief
To fall asleep and to never wake
They never tell you how hard it may be
And they don't prepare you for a lack of sympathy.
And the ones you love may hurt you most
And the heavy feeling in your chest doesn't flee
It roasts.
There's a fire in your heart
And you wish you never had to start wishing
Wishing there was an easier way
Wishing for a way to ease the pain
It's incredibly hard to escape the perpetually aching heart you carry day by day
And that, my friend, is all I have to say.

Though I thought you were different
                              You betrayed my trust
And with every passing shower
                        My heart will collect rust.