When you feel a profound sense of loss

Feel the insides of you implode

crumble and fall

Pause,

Hold

And catch yourself in the moment

Take a long hard look back

live through clarity you sought

Go through the haze of the daily

Drift float and begin a new

Intimidating prospect it may seem yet rewarding it will be

Just passing through chanting this hymn

Folks lost to the beat
Drifting by the rhythm
Deafened by the chaos
Blinded by the smoke in the air
Drunk with the feeling of here and now
Lost in the time
Captured in a blur

For I have stopped looking out

To the others

For confirmation

For deliberation

I have started looking inwards

I have started investing

In myself

I have started living

For myself

For what I love

For what makes me happy

Living freely, being content

Counting on possibilities

Kissing joys

Unwrapping surprises

and smiling through

as I am filling up I

With the right spirit of being

Here and now

Of the torn down-home, the vivid color of the rooms, tell the stories of the lives lived there.
Captures attention.
Shows more than that meets the eye; the pile of planks, unroofed base, the windows holding the dark,
of the torn down-home.

Surrounded we are

In the essence of

A Lie

A show

A setup

Hypocrisy

Brain washed we are

Manipulated

Mutilated

Muted

Controlled

Separated we are

By origin

By race

By color

Differentiated

Away from the truth we are

Disguised

Fabricated

Denied

Blinded

Violated

Poisoned

­Departed from what we are

Just far far off

I am graying my hair

Thinking I'd hear a call, an email

It's not something remotely guaranteed.

I've got to deal with it myself

Wasting my time

Turning into the grape sour

Graying my hair

Angry

like the nice Fenugreek tea

boiling and spilling over

I know I don't have to hear it

I don't want hear it

I am aware that I am torturing myself

With this recurrent thought

He isn't even worth the time

Precious time I wasted

How do I stop thinking

Keep referring back

To find a lead

Telling stories to my heart about your favorite mug

The broken mug

So detach.. let go and be.

And to let you know

Your words are talking to me now

You are not there

But your feel is

I talk idiotically

I answer the questions you posed

I was too busy then

I couldn’t answer to them

I was not with you

Not there with you when needed

Not there when it drizzled

Not there under a clear blue sky

Not on the path we trod once

Held hands

Stole kisses

I was not there when I had to be

You did well

You left your memories behind

Only to be reawakened

Each time I go through it

Every time I pay a visit to your ‘world of words’

I  understand this

All over again

You are away to the stars

Not with me anymore

It’s hard, Ohh, it is!

To believe you are gone

Left with I am, your writings

Keeping you alive through it

Still talking me

I keep coming back to it

And yes call me selfish

I only read about wonderful times

And not about the hard times you wrote of

It is even harder as I try

To close my eyes

To believe you are still here

In this realm

Prized possessions

As it yours

The only thing that takes me to you

Only thing I am left with

Your dreams are no lesser

Your dreams are never too unworthy

Neither too crazy

Nor too trivial

Your dreams for you are as real

As the divine force prevail

Don’t look down on it as people do so

Don’t let go of it as it’s hard to get

Don’t let go of it to live someone else’s dream

Don’t let go of it as it seems to starry up there

The very place you dream to be

Don’t you let go of it even if you come from a humble place

Don’t let go even if challenges seem bigger than opportunity

Don’t let it get pass you

Believe in it and go follow it

Chase the faint light that constantly calls upon you

Chase it till it has no way out but to come to you

That’s when you realize your dreams were never too less

The world beneath you slides

Nail dig through the dirt

Grasping onto what’s left

Holding onto the sliding, seeping sand

You’re left there yelling what about me ‘what about me’

Begging for empathy

Feel yourself leaving

Getting lost in the whirlwind

Scrambling, not knowing what ensued

The end of February

Marching into luke warm days

It gets comfortable than what cold last winter brought

You can stand bare

To the outside

Recognizing this very feeling

Of stealth chilly breeze

Flowing through your chest

And just like that lives change

Leaving yourself grieving the death of a relationship

In a room with four walls

You had been too trusting

But you can’t let my heart be as small as thier’s

Life is short to not look it in the eye

‘Why, what is happening to you?’
Seem all fine girl, bubbling with joy, sparkling, filling the room with giggles
Nothing seems to be possibly wrong with you
Go out there and get busy’

Yes, nothing is wrong with me
There’s nothing I can put my finger on and show
When the whirlwind of emotions run through me
Like a hurricane
Thoughts and feelings knows no end
When it rains

It’s like I don’t want be in my room, my house
When there’s a power cut
And I am frantically looking for the light
Then it feels like the walls are closing in on me
The tightness I try escaping from
Inhaling and exhaling
The air, getting thinner

The only difference is my house is my body
My room is my mind

I haven’t been well rested
Well slept
My eyes are all droopy
Body tired
Sleep, trying to take me in
Then a huge flash zaps me out of it
Debilitating pain in my head  
The heart races
A black haze sets in the mind
Past, present, future, meaning, purpose and life seem desolate

How do I explain my state of mind?
How do I explain what’s weighing down on me?
When I don’t understand it myself.

This is up. This has always been up!

The light, the flicker
Accompanied by buzzing fly,
Tided in a cobweb
A fluorescent tube light.

(About Love)


Spring fills her heart

When she hears from him

Mail or even a mere glance.



Patiently she waits

Doesn’t nag or question

Desires only togetherness.



She wonders what love is

People give it fancy names

To the four lettered word



Just a mere feeling

love not like the air to breath

Yet so persistent.



(Random Royal Thimphu College Haiku)


Smiley faces greet

Eager to learn. Renewed hopes

Everyday new college lessons



The taste of coffee

The lessons that go on and

Day smoothly turns to dusk



Lights along the road

Move further into the night

Road darkens till the dawn.



Dreams Haiku

Make room for dreams

They come true if you believe

Nurture them with care.

Taba multipurpose trail, Thimphu.

Was seen hiking on that stretch
Just before recent lockdown was announced
Just in the nick of time
A short trial they found
Firm new boots striding proud
Stepping, crackling the pine leaves dry
Passing through the trunks and trees
Brown, pale, green, mud, ****, shrub…
She was seen filling her lungs with a lil air and smoke
Sitting on a bench
A tea break to breathe in affirmation
Filling the heart with a little hope,
Heard she’s healing
Learning, growing
Like twigs, branches and leaves

Of getting lost and finding ways

Hitting dead-ends

But treading along

With new found resilience

Strength of character

Delving into the depths

Of one’s core

Embracing the fall and the cracks

Soul searching

Gliding

Through each passing day

I be an observer

I am a story teller

I am a story weaver

A keen lover

And my core, a ball of tales

Diverse in all aspects

My life indeed is a story,

Waiting to be told

Waiting to be known.

A glimmer of hope

A speck of light in the dark

That emanates from within

No genre confines me

No style defines me

I allow myself to grow

I allow myself that time

I just drift along

And carry with me the

Wisdom I acquire

It saddens me to think

You couldn’t look at a me for who I was

Who I could have been

and not what you make of it

And not through your careless construct

and as consolation

for you to bank on when all else fail


It saddens me to think that

My emotions were never safe with you

That there was never a strive

It was disposable rather

Not just my flesh but my whole being


It saddens me to think that

Your emotions never found home in me

For I thought I found solace

A comfort

Are we so sad to face such fate

So unfortunate to lose it in a day

So flimsy

Was whatever was there

Couldn’t we communicate

Couldn’t you give me a day of respite

From thinking what sham this was

Can’t live a life so empty

So scared

Walking on precarious lies

I wasn’t built for this

I didn’t deserve this

To barely cling on

To loose thread of distrust

Low aspirations

It isn’t worth a life

'Letting go' is a crazy time,

Letting go of the madness

Letting of the inner struggle

Of the Yess and the Nos

Will wake you up like it do to me

Will send you drifting with the music

Dancing your way to the night

Writing your entire story

In the solitude you find when all go asleep

It will clandestinely wrap you in fault, in guilt, in sorry

Steal your soul, leave you just a little poorer

****** you away from the worldly routines

Glide you through various moments of your life

When met with a melody

Oh! what would you do without good music

I would not even be able to give a face to emotions

And every other day I would mask it

Conceal it.

Of the reflective windows and minds:

From the window screen
Little Sj town appears glowing
The high glass windows of my hotel room
Reflects the hilltop
The lamposts outside, like fireflies  
Rains nostalgia
Of places and faces

Singe me song, serenade me
Don't bring me flowers though, I don't like plucked flowers
Let it be, just let it bloom
Inspire me, be my muse
Looking for a muse, aren’t we all?

I've been without it for some time now
Oh, when I say time, I say three decades
That many years to meet my muse
It's been a long time coming

Now let me savour you
butter scotch smooth
Allured, ofcourse I am
Drawn to you, yes
Sidelining priorities, yes

The sweet distraction, you are, to deafen the noise around
The onslaught of the 'Rush', the Inflation, the confusion, the instability
Expectations and constant ask of 'When do you leave
to breathe in the air of the outside and seek greener pasture?’

Looking to the far of island to find their lost goals, aren’t we all?
I think I've made a decision too, with the little yes that I said
With no substance in my heart to support my resolution

Distraction, yes you are, to medicate the overwhelming,
And an appetite to procrastinating mind and an aimlessness soul

I keep the trading sleep with exhaustion
And the drunken haze

The musings though, however strong in the moment
Runs out leaving you with the bare minimum to fuel through
Frozen
Leaving me unable to move an inch
Stumbling and crumbling
With not much to hold
Its only me to lift myself up

All the time and effort given to all kinds,
Why now show some kindness to myself  
It’s been a long time coming to be my own muse
This is to me, the muse I was always looking for.

You walk me around

You hold me up

Yet you stiffen me sometimes

Disbalance me

You make me want to fall

You!

Drain the last drop of energy

I owe it to you for a little less soul

A Little less drive

And a lot less writing

Crippled I become

I end my day limping

But there are days when friends surround me

And the Beer fills the fizz

Slow and smooth is the sip

The twinge dissolve

I go home dancing

With the zeal restored

With the spirit revived

Overwhelmed

Slamming on the bed, I crash

I retire

Adjusting the achy bones

Resting my **** mind

Let’s me see things clearer

Than what my bare eyes would let me  

Brings far off images nearer

Makes it easier to understand what there be

Does away with haze in my vision, as well my ‘thinker’

Accompanies me as a guide I see

as a friend who’s dear

brings fulfillment and glee.

To help figure

Life's mystery

I put it on thee

look at the mirror

Start my day with cuppa tea

Tryna be positive hereafter  

I call myself me

I should be like an Owl

Using nightfall appropriately

Should be scribbling

Painting my words

My fingers should be in a hustle to finish a page

And page after page

The walls if it runs out

Further the air around, as a medium to write and to share

Discovering myself

Finding myself amidst words

Taming myself the way I want

Grammars are paid less heed

Expressing myself  in a free verse

Leaving my traces

Leaving a legacy

Leaving a part of me

Through what I scribble

Beware!

I am losing myself to art

Spilling the chaos on the canvas

I may not remain a whole

For I maybe draped in a hand skill

Stroked with animal hair

Lost in the heat of colors

Seized in an imaginative capture

Transfixed in time

The remnants hard to characterize

Mutilated for an inventive victory

Woven in a verse of triumph

Sometimes discreet in absurdity

Sometimes molested in modernity

I may not remain a whole

Dashes may surface

In exhibits,

It may surround your gaze

Exist as a description

Limited just as a name.

Inspired by the weather I write

Look out of the window

See the same old tree wilt

Its top turned all yellow

Shedding its leaves

Wondering if it would be happy?

Or…. hopeful about the next spring

I try to figure out the unspoken

And wish that I could know

The course of  nature

The way it works.

It dawned on me today to

write about hope

write about light

becoming pretty every day

from inside

filling yourself up with you

because baby, only you can save yourself

free yourself from the cage in your mind

you trapped yourself in

being resilient

all accepting

embracing and gently maneuvering through it all

You wouldn’t know unless you strive

For the other side of the horizon

You have definitely not seen it

None of them have

Jolt your comfort

Speak of what drives you crazy

Ascertain

Answer

Though risk persists in every move

Uncertainties are certain

But it’s to the hope

It’s to the dreams to keep living for

Breaking all the barriers

The chains

The inhibition

The fear

I lay on my bed drifting

In poetic play of everyday life

Poetry everywhere;

In a friendly crease that I want to keep on my sheet

The window pane that showcases the crimson setting sun

The familiar chill in the air

Neighborly chatter

Tinkering of the cans

A careful and delicate feline walk

The slurp of the mojito

The clinking of the ice cubes

The brush strokes on a portrait

The loops of  smoke blown through

The very edge of a cigarette bud

Glinting in the firelight

Virtue, to see beauty in the mundane

Fascinating how  

How we all see everything

And yet we see it differently

Ever been told your dream's too big, beyond your class?

When such doubts arise, how do you react?

These fears and self-doubts, have you explored their roots?

It's often the environment, or loved ones, imposing limits in a form of guidance, out of love but stemming from fear in guise of their own experiences.

But have you questioned the boundaries set for you?

Now's the time to aim for your highest dreams, to commit fully and live beautifully – because you can!

Surround yourself with people who align with your values, those who radiate beauty when sharing their deepest desires.

Cultivate love, faith, and determination – and most importantly, believe in ‘You’.

I've experienced carrying the world's burdens, battling fatigue, and struggling with the fear of failure.

In my quest to unlock life's mysteries, I've learned that its beauty often lies in its uncertainty.

We try to make sense of everything, but why not embrace freedom instead?

I reassure myself, ready to face doubts and let them go.

I'm grateful for all my experiences, shaping who I am in mind, body, and heart.

Trusting in the connections I make, I pursue a dream so vast, it fuels my daily motivation and inspires my creativity.

Remember, the journey inward is the key.

Here I am being wishful again,

Wising for it hard

Bearing in mind, also the odds.

Yearning for it

Sometimes almost reaching out to it

To all that I aspire

Almost feeling it

A moment surreal

And then

Snatched back to the instance

By a blink

A snap

A blow yet of the softest touch

Create waves inside the head

It rises

It descends

Ripples

It soothes

Gradually

Into the nothing.

After the long period of barren winter

The buds of greenery comes

The birds chirping they fly

The caterpillar turns butterfly

The tree top shines green

The river so calm and shrine

Turns vigorous in joy

The sky smiles

And gives lot of sunshine

The warmth that all look forward to

After a long period of barren winter.

If words be my lover

I would love it dearly

The curves, love the bends

Love the starts and the stops

Madness it is to call it love

But no other love affair been so insistent

None caught my imagination so high

Able to wake me in the mid of nights

To tell stories of the day

I lose the track of time

I lose myself to it

Strange strong affinity

To the letters, the meanings, the words

When all else go slumbering

It’s just you and I

The intimacy of writing

And the never ending possibilities

Of something new