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Aug 2023
‘Why, what is happening to you?’
Seem all fine girl, bubbling with joy, sparkling, filling the room with giggles
Nothing seems to be possibly wrong with you
Go out there and get busy’

Yes, nothing is wrong with me
There’s nothing I can put my finger on and show
When the whirlwind of emotions run through me
Like a hurricane
Thoughts and feelings knows no end
When it rains

It’s like I don’t want be in my room, my house
When there’s a power cut
And I am frantically looking for the light
Then it feels like the walls are closing in on me
The tightness I try escaping from
Inhaling and exhaling
The air, getting thinner

The only difference is my house is my body
My room is my mind

I haven’t been well rested
Well slept
My eyes are all droopy
Body tired
Sleep, trying to take me in
Then a huge flash zaps me out of it
Debilitating pain in my head  
The heart races
A black haze sets in the mind
Past, present, future, meaning, purpose and life seem desolate

How do I explain my state of mind?
How do I explain what’s weighing down on me?
When I don’t understand it myself.
khina maya ghimirey
Written by
khina maya ghimirey  Bhutan
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