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 May 2018 Kayla Flanders
Bec
The first time
you said you loved
me, it was as if
I had been pulled aboard
a life raft after being
lost at sea. But
I see now that this
raft is littered with
holes and
we are sinking, but
you are convinced
that your love is a
teacup to scoop out
the water pooling around
my ankles and you will save
us, but the teacup has a crack
down one side and
do you see where I
am going with this?
A tablespoon of water
will never put out
a forest fire; I am burning
through acres.
 May 2018 Kayla Flanders
mel
there is something
about the way they leave
with hands still deep in
the heart of me
but what hurts the most
is how easy it seems, like
the effortless act of
wind uprooting seeds
i guess some storms
are born just for shaking
away what’s not deep
but the blames not on me
for seasons change and
soon spring came to
wash the blame
i bloomed
away all
due to
pain
and light
shined too
through parts i knew
you took the moment i met you
and from these holes my branches
grew resilient to the heat of june and
now they reach up to the moon
and harbor light to shine and
swoon the ones who come
to love me new but leave
me wild when they're
through i smile every
time they do as it's
your shadow
dancing
too
 May 2018 Kayla Flanders
Undone
Everyone deserves love

Not everyone deserves your love
 Apr 2018 Kayla Flanders
may
I was looking back on myself from one year ago
In many pictures I had a genuine smile
For the most part I was content with my life
As an avid member of a youth group that loved me so
And I had so many great things planned for summer

Now things have changed and that smile has faded
Faded into something I could only merely wish for
It has been replaced and I don’t think anyone notices
Other than myself of course because how could one forget such a familiar feeling

I’ve said once before that things are much better than what they used to be and yes in some ways they are
But there’s something within me spreading this feeling of self hate and discomfort for who I am now
And there’s nothing I can do to prevent it

“Who am I and what have I become?” couldn’t be the  question I should be asking myself since I am clearly finding out as the days pass
But the better guess would probably be something like “welcome back. How long will you be staying?”
 Apr 2018 Kayla Flanders
Chiquita
The pain she bored was heavy to hold ;
It ate her mind but she never told,
To anyone she never shown;
She sat by herself and wondered why,
Life was unjust and made her cry
Heavy bags were evident to see,
That the pain she bore was not letting her sleep;
But she somehow seemed to cast a smile
Silently telling me she was alright
But in those glossy eyes I could see
The pain she bore was there indeed
My heart hurt to see her pain
Which she tried to hide again
So I held her close to let her know
That I'll be with her and never go.
 Apr 2018 Kayla Flanders
Chiquita
She looked so happy that you can't tell
Under that smile was a hurricane;
She wore a mask that looked real to the eye;
But underneath it was the scars she hides;
Every pain she felt was hidden in her smile,
The more pain she felt the more she smiled ;
She laughed so loudly ,
That no one knew she was lonely;
She showed herself as whole,
Skillfully hiding the hole;
She never cried she never tried,
All she did was hide it and smile;
Her hurt was stronger than her smile ,
Her emptiness was deeper than her laugh,
She never moaned she never swore,
Cause she was strong and had hope
So all she did was smile.
Stay strong. Everything will be over soon
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