Her biggest desire is time
she just wants to feel like a priority again.
like royalty again.
Everyone is busy
it's who you make time for:
It's who you prioritize and make feel important.
a woman like her
is down for you.
sticks by you.
prioritizes you.
She's busy too but she always makes time.
She's out in the big world
doing big things
and regardless
she still always made time for you
whether a knight by her side or not
she will conquer.

You are my fire
my forever flame,
my match, flare, and muse.
I am your picture
and you are my frame,
in the fair blue skies of June.
you are my fall September rain
and my high summer moon
and I am your brightest sun
who sits tall at noon.
Like thunder and lightning
this love stays spun
beyond the old oaks grow,
and when the rivers don't run.
as night needs day
our love will stay
as it's only just begun.

Doubt. You're a monster,
That I have to overcome.
you lie in bed and pillow talk with my loved ones,
your soft screams in their ears
I can hear you from across the room
you could be my motivation
or you could be my doom.
Doubt you're my Tinnitus
the constant ringing in my ears
no matter what I do you never disappear.
I could give you diamonds and gold
or the silk off my back
I could give to the poor
or win myself a plaque,
but even then,
I'm still not enough..
Doubt you are forever hungry
you are my crying child that I can not touch.

I love you so much I can not take it
so why did I have to take your heart
and break it.

Oh world you’re a crook.
A mean mean soul
life’s so short; there’s no time to get old.
Life goes in a blink
and then you die.
That’s just how it goes,
and I’m okay with that.

but,

I have to work my life away
for a dollar and a dime
wasting seconds, minutes, and hours of my short and precious time
all to have “a good life”
just to make it, and to be okay
why can’t I live
without wasting my entire life away
on pieces of paper
an object only meaningful by man
why must I live
in this reality I can’t stand.

I’m confused
I don’t know how to be happy
was I happier fat?
Or am I happier skinny?
I can’t tell the difference
it’s all the same
it doesn’t matter what I look like
the pain will stick to my hip
through thick and thin.
literally.
Is it my body? Is it my clothes?  
or the way I don’t like the rounded curve of my nose?
no.
it’s none of those.

I dip my toe in the water
Of this ******* merky sea
the unknown.
I flick the surface with my foot
watching the surface ripple and rock
it’s dark and I can’t see the bottom
but I jump and don’t think;
a head first dive into the unknown
and deeper and deeper I sink
will I ever reach the bottom ?
and if I open my eyes,
would I even be able to see?
I can’t go back
and I can’t foresee
I have to find a way
to find my feet
to learn how to swim
in this blacker than black;
the unexplored ink
of the world


I’m on my own now.