It was 10 PM but it felt like 3 AM
I didn't eat the 4th Dorito bag
And all I wanna do right now
Is to take the car,
go to the abandoned house on street 1,
and smoke a box of cigarettes
I don't even smoke
Or have a license
But I guess that's not the point
The point is
That I wish there was a pause button
So I can breathe and cry it all out if I need to

Love.
That tempting *****
At once giving and snatching away
All that is known
And all that could be had
She laughs at my pleas
I want it all and she knows this
Mocking and unyielding
She gives me a fleeting taste
Of the joy I have craved for so long
Before again receeding her gift
Like the drawback of a tsunami tide
I am then sinking and breaking
Under the weight of her
And all that she encompasses
And all that she ever could
Our mistress, maiden, mother, crone,
Cruel as the devil
And twice as pretty

We are but two roses in the same vase
sharing the same water
same light,
but our leaves never again touching.
You've grown colder
we've grown apart
separated yet together dying.

Tell me, why do we, roses, die so easily?

Our scents fading,
but our thorns getting sharper
in a world where all the flowers bloom
we are the ones to be wilting.

Tell me, why does the moonlight darken our colours?

I know
I will love you with all my thorns
and with my fading shades
until the last petal will fall
until the sun upon me
will stop shining.

*Tell me, why is there blood on your thorns
and why is my heart leaking?

You can find me under a bridge, with a needle in my arm,
or at the bars where old men slide their hand up my thigh and I am pretending not to like it.
I like to play games like "which one of my boyfriend's brothers can I turn on the most" or "how many girls can I kiss in one night"
Usually the answers are -- all of them and the most I've gotten is 6

you're only hurting yourself,
putting in all this effort,
for people who don't give a **** about you

you would comb the earth
a thousand times over
searching for a pin
if they asked.

they wouldn't even bend over
to pick up a pencil for you,
let alone risk cutting themselves
trying to mend your shattered glass heart.