When she promised to never leave
She forgot to mention the card she had in her sleeve

When he promised to keep you from your demon
But left you on the floor screaming

When she held your heart in her hand and then threw it to the cold floor
Spat in your face and walked out the door

When he kissed your forehead before you slept
Then out of your bed he crept

When she whispered she loved you in your ear
Then was the reason for a tear

When he held your hand when you walked down the street
Just to leave you at night drowning your bed sheet

When she made you smile day and night
Then she was out of sight

When he noticed the little things about you
Just for you to realise the promises were never true

When she made you trust her completely
Then made you feel like jumping of the balcony

When he looked you in your eyes and said he loved you
Then bid you adieu.

-T

My Love Who Got Away

My love
Ye who went away
When the scorching summer heat descended
And the freezing winter snow crept in
All, with one accord

When uncertainty struck
Between love and hate
Smiling and frowning
Staying and leaving
Committing and being free
Laughing, but never crying
Between happiness and unhappiness
Between the heat and the chill
All at the same time

Now that's all you showed on the surface
When in your heart of hearts
The honest uncertainty there was to feel
Was between leaving and sailing away
What a caring and loving predicament
It was not that much of a choice life gave you
Now, was it?

You pushed me so hard and urgently, away
You longed to hear the words come from me
That I was leaving and was grateful for everything
So you could be left with a clear conscience
With the pretence I was the one who wanted to leave

Oh don't you think I recognized
How soon you always wanted to get rid of me
When you always handed the on/off switch to me
How often you'd hit me with the classic speech,
"It's not you, it's me"
Then you blatantly said
"If it costs you your peace
Then it's too expensive"
But I was all yours you didn't have to buy
And I was the cheapest you would find on the land
That's why, maybe, you pushed me out
Who wants cheap stuff these days anyway?

But your love is your love,
You choose who you want to seize it away from
And who you can't wait to give it to next
We called it quits, it was a win for you
Apparently I was the stubborn cloud
That laid between you and your sunshine

And it's not I was too proud to beg
The whole ordeal left me unsure if I'd be heard
Unsure that if I came around once more
You wouldn't throw me to shame
Still we couldn't make it through thick
Oh ye, my beloved
Ye who went away

Mongi C. Nkabindze

Submissive

Peel me raw with your voice
Undress my mind with your wit
Scrape my bones with your laughter
******* blood, so I submit

Pluck out my heart with your soul
Rip through my spine with your mind
Extract my juice with your desperate eyes
Make me love you till my eyes go blind

you left me fumbling
uncomfortably attempting to adjust my ideas
as you carefully slipped yourself out of the
home you had made in my heart,
you left no note
although you owed me nothing
i still felt betrayed

god, i've written so many poems about you
despite the fact that you'll never read them
thinking about you tears my chest in half
and i keep reopening the wound
you were never mine to begin with
but when i see you with others
i grow irrationally jealous
it's been so long
but time cannot heal all wounds

selfishly i wonder
what if you had been mine?

Home

Some people can recognize
A tree or a front yard
and know
they've made it home

The walk from the car door
To the front porch
Becomes habitual
Instead of intentional
They get lost in the
Contentment of familiarity

But what happens when you
find yourself
So adrift, so off-course
That you've worn a path in the circle you find yourself walking in

What if the place you're looking for,
Your home
Was never really home After all

But rather a false sense of security
Wrapped up
In a pretty pink ribbon
On top of the layers
Of gripping manipulation

How many circles can I walk in
Before I give up looking?
How long before I'm lost for good?

Home for me
Is not the familiar walk
To the front door
Or the yard with overgrown grass
that makes weeds look like bushes

Home is a sea of senses
Blending together in perfect harmony

Home is walking in
And seeing red
Red skillet
Red chair
And my favorite redheads

Home is the smell of
Fancy hand soap
Fresh laundry
Fragrant candles
And farty brussel sprouts

Home is the first sound you hear
A chuckle
A musical
The clearing of a throat
Our favorite tv show

Home
In a nutshell
Is freedom

Freedom to laugh
To cry
Or maybe both at the same time
To yell and to vent
Without the burden of shame
Or regret

So home
You see, is more
Than the tree
Or the porch

Those things could vanish
And leave you stranded

Home is laughter
And friendship
That won't leave you lost

It is safety and belonging
That says
“You are okay”

It is the weight of a burden being Lifted off your shoulders
Home is love

You are the color of a kiss,
passionate and complex;
A cold, tall glass of water
just after you've had ***

You are the color of a road trip,
with windows down and sunnies on.
The color of a love ballad,
or a fulfilling and perfect yawn

You are the color of a silk petal,
floating to the Earth,
A limited edition coin
and all that it is worth.

You are the color of adventure,
and freshly baked apple pie;
The color of snowfall on your face,
drifting down from the night sky

You are the color of paints
that stores just do not sell;
A sit-in or a marching protest,
fervent and raising hell.

You are the color of the strength
that arises with the dawn;
And when a king is overtaken
by a simple little pawn.

You are the colors found in everything:
extraordinary, nonetheless,
But more than all of that combined,
a fact I must confess;
You are the color of love and life,
with all that magic you possess.




- t.s.

Have you ever wondered if this world is the actual
hell we live in and if we are being tested
by how well we deal?
We are living in a place where pain, suffering,
and then ultimately death are of everyday existence
I understand that perception is everything here
and this world is an illusion generated by our perception
I am not trying to be a downer but the more I live
in this world the more I see it as a nightmare
that some days I just want to wake up from

This is not coming from my religious beliefs and I am
not saying that I am not grateful for everything I do have
Compared to a lot of other people in this world I do not
have it so bad and I know this.  This is coming from
a thought process I have been trying to come to terms with

Is there a bright light at the end of this very dark tunnel?
Of course we all have different journey's to take to get us
to that tunnel but while we are here our paths do cross from
time to time and we all have some of the same pains
sufferings and even death to overcome

My point is this...
We are all living in this hell together
Let's get through this hell together
This thought has become a shining
Ray of light in this dark
Find some comfort in this
and
Perhaps there is hope for us all

Always thinking,
Always fearing.
Always losing my control.

Could be better,
I resent her.
Write the letter of my soul.

Sweet obsessions,
Fear burning through my veins.
Sweet obsessions,
Questioning if I'm really sane.

It's so confusing:
The words I'm using,
To show the stories I have told.

Fight together,
Or against her.
The thoughts that I've heard are so old.

Sweet obsessions,
Fear burning through my veins.
Sweet obsessions,
Questioning if I'm really sane.

Suffering and obsessing,
Are the same thing or so it seems.
This obsession isn't sweet-
Constant thoughts of the fear to beat.

Sweet obsessions,
Fear burning through my veins.
Sweet obsessions,
Questioning if I'm really sane.