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I may be superstitious,
But it's a life I wouldn't trade.
Do I have a witness,
Of this cursed day?

Those glorified wishes,
Honestly seem fake.
A touch of intuition,
Has made me feel afraid.

No! Why? Did we have to say goodbye?
Please wait! Did it have to be today?
I've tried, To distract my mind.
But my brain, Won't seem to move away!

The pain makes me ambitious,
But I hope it doesn't stay.
Now my heart is in stitches,
I'm crying tears in vain.

Dignified or vicious,
Is she grim or grave?
My mind seems so twisted;
To it I've become enslaved.

No! Why? Did we have to say goodbye?
Please wait! Did it have to be today?
I've tried, To distract my mind.
But my brain, Won't seem to move away!

The cold light doesn't seem to fade.
Can't stop time and these endless days.
Despite the promises I've made,
I find my world has turned to grey.

No! Why? Did we have to say goodbye?
Please wait! Did it have to be today?
I've tried, To distract my mind.
But my brain, Won't seem to move away!
In memory of my dear beloved Sigyn.
I will do what I must,
To escape this quarrel clear.
She's broken my cold trust,
It's been a long two years.

The child is quite stung,
The wolf is growing near.
No longer she is young,
She whispers in my ear.

Oh Endera, what have you done?
Endera, what have I become?
Oh Endera, never I'll go numb,
Endera, you're the spiced ***.

Is this who I've become?
I'm always shedding tears.
I feel like I've gone numb,
I only know this fear.

When will this all be done?
I'm staring in the mirror.
There is no place to run,
For she is always here.

Oh Endera, what have you done?
Endera, what have I become?
Oh Endera, never I'll go numb,
Endera, you're the spiced ***.

Your eyes are scorching me.
I dream to just break free.
I chose to fight no more,
But you continue keeping score.

You keep on playing me,
Here's permission to hate me,
You're already halfway there!
For me, you've never cared!

Oh Endera, what have you done?
Endera, what have I become?
Oh Endera, never I'll go numb,
Endera, you're the spiced ***.

Oh Endera, what have we done?
Endera, what have we become?
Oh, Endera, who's the poison plum?
Endera, farewell we'll overcome.
I see my face on your screen,
Quick erase, but still shocked me.
They laughed away, embarrassing.
It's not my place, but that was mean.

You ran and hid, mortified.
Bowed your head, and tried not to cry.
Every now and then as we're passing by,
I still remember that one time.

He says that he loves me,
And that I'm beautiful.
But dear Alexander,
What is your goal?

I don't have these feelings,
And you can't have my heart.
Cause you could go steal it,
Then tear it apart.

In third grade, it's you I see.
The words you say, "Will you be with me?"
Your heart decayed, I'm so sorry.
For I'm afraid of love's disease.

Now look ahead, almost year nine.
We're on a ship and there's not a tide.
On the railing spread, I lean and sigh.
You're staring in my silver eyes.

You say that you'd love me,
From youth till were old.
But dear Alexander.
My love can't be sold.

And I keep on thinking,
What you'd do to my heart.
Would I fall down sinking?
Or would it be art?

You said you would be there,
Through all of my pain.
But do you really care,
About this pouring rain?

The choices have been spared,
You gave up week long.
At least I was prepared,
I knew all along!

No longer you love me,
The words that you've told.
And I should be happy,
But I have grown cold.

Anger is growing,
No effort depart!
I'm comforted knowing,
I still have my heart.
This was a song I wrote explaining why I  afraid to fall in love. I hope you like it!
Always thinking,
Always fearing.
Always losing my control.

Could be better,
I resent her.
Write the letter of my soul.

Sweet obsessions,
Fear burning through my veins.
Sweet obsessions,
Questioning if I'm really sane.

It's so confusing:
The words I'm using,
To show the stories I have told.

Fight together,
Or against her.
The thoughts that I've heard are so old.

Sweet obsessions,
Fear burning through my veins.
Sweet obsessions,
Questioning if I'm really sane.

Suffering and obsessing,
Are the same thing or so it seems.
This obsession isn't sweet-
Constant thoughts of the fear to beat.

Sweet obsessions,
Fear burning through my veins.
Sweet obsessions,
Questioning if I'm really sane.
I was in the middle of a panic attack and somehow decide to finish a poem I started awhile back. Thanks!
I apologize for the words I have to say.
I apologize for a year of sorrow days.
I apologize for the words I speak,
For they are always on repeat.

I apologize for all the tears I've cried.
I apologize for my uncontrollable whine.

I apologize for the darkened clouds of gloom.
I apologize for my pleading to the moon.
I apologize for wanting to be alone,
For the cause is still unknown.

I apologize for the fear that is inside.
I apologize for my never ending fright.

I apologize for the deeply buried guilt,
I apologize for the stories never built.
I apologize for each shard of metal glass,
For my cut wound bled at last.

I apologize for losing every fight.
I apologize, for I know this isn't right.

I apologize for my unclothed feet.
I apologize for the dreams I seek.
I apologize for being way to young,
To have gotten so pained and stung.

I apologize for the times I've tried.
I apologize for the raining sky.

I apologize for the words I've yelled.
I apologize for the times I fell.
I apologize for the lack to choose,
For ignorance of the coming due.

I apologize for my useless rhymes.
I apologize for your wasted time.
I was upset and just had to rant and vent for a bit. Writing a stupid poem is better than hyperventilating right?
"Why are you afraid?"
That's what they always say.
It's always in sequence every day.

They ask me what's wrong.
They ask me how long.
Tell me to bottle it and just be strong.

Don't pull my trigger, trigger, trigger.
I'm falling apart into a million sparks.
Don't pull my trigger, trigger, trigger.
When the fear sounds alarm, I fall into the dark.

I have always prayed,
But the fear always stays.
Even with all the times I've tried to change.

They poke and they prong,
We'll never get along.
I guess I'll just go and write another song.

Don't pull my trigger, trigger, trigger.
I'm falling apart into a million sparks.
Don't pull my trigger, trigger, trigger.
When the fear sounds alarm, I fall into the dark.

Needle in your arm,
Why are you alarmed?
It's not like a seizure can cause you harm.

Bugs in your hair,
Fall in love if you dare,
Seems like triggers are everywhere.

Don't pull my trigger, trigger, trigger.
I'm falling apart into a million sparks.
Don't pull my trigger, trigger, trigger.
When the fear sounds alarm, I fall into the dark.
From the album Hylephobia
Losing my hope,
Feeling so lost.
I don't even know where to go anymore.

This is not what I chose,
The path through the snow.
I just want to be free from the internal storm.

One step forwards,
Two steps back.
Cycles repeated,
I've surely lost track.

Should I go onwards?
All the questions I'll ask.
Does it have meaning:
The darkness and black?

The sun-kissed glow,
What is the cost?
I miss its warmth burning through my core.

Take the first blow,
And take what they owe.
Get your armor on, we're going to war.

One step forwards,
Two steps back.
Cycles repeated,
I've surely lost track.

Should I go onwards?
All the questions I'll ask.
Does it have meaning:
The darkness and black?

I need help,
I've lost myself.
A vainful yelp.
I wish you well.

One step forwards,
Two steps back.
Cycles repeated,
I've surely lost track.

Should I go onwards?
All the questions I'll ask.
Does it have meaning:
The darkness and black?
I was feeling blah last night so I decided to write about it.
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