if my heart is an ocean
then my waves are stuck on you
with your words as thick as seaweed
that keep surfacing as i pursue

and as my tide gets high
i feel you find a place to hide
in the depths of all i’ve grown
you are swept away to find a home

but as my tide falls low
your truth comes out from down below
exposing heaviness you left in me
where i find sight to clearly see

that letting go of what could be
is how i finally set me free

I'd be lying if I said
This isn't hurting me
I'm a sucker for telling you
This is hurting me

I can't tell the difference anymore
Admitting a problem
Is that my solution
Or is this my problem

Numbing the pain
Doesn't make it ok
I'm gonna get you back
And still won't be ok

Trying to keep my wrist closed
So I don't **** me
And you're unphased by my pain
And that's what kills me

it's like all the pain
and numbness
in you,
echos through me,
and I absorb all that,
until my heart
can't take it anymore
then I overflow

when it collapses,
it feels like the end of the world
but it felt like that so many times
and it hasn't ended
so I don't even fear anymore.

I think it's sad that
everyone sees and tells me
I'm special and extraordinary
and my own mom
can only tell me what
a horrible daughter and person I am

you don't have to fear life and people so much. it'll be alright. you have to let go more in order to enjoy things.
- you don't have to be ashamed of yourself. don't live life up to people's expectations. everybody has flaws, you know? so it's okay to be weird.
- you have to take your chances. be bold. you'll be much happier when you do.
- try to talk more with people. surprise them. be spontaneous.
- don't take so long overthinking. just live, just feel.
- remember that you do not need anyone who doesn't need you.
- treat yourself with respect and demand that from others as well.
- don't be afraid to speak up.
- don't be so judgemental, ok? people are so much more than what they appear.
- value your family. they're the only thing you truly have.
- go out of your comfort zone. it'll make you grow.
- take your time to grow
- do not let fear stop you from doing what you want.