Wash away the past,
it can be liberating.
But hold onto me.

kiss me while you can
because we are not getting
out of this alive

I will be good for a while
I won’t cut as often
I won’t want to **** myself every day
I will actually see the other side of the tunnel

But then
Something ticks inside me
I’m reminded that I’m not normal
I remember that I’m a depressed ******

And my arm becomes full of cuts
My head becomes clouded with suicidal thoughts
And one day
When I tick
It will be enough
To push me over the edge

pain,
pain is a rush
pain lets me
feel things
I normally don't.
I'm a sucker for it
bruise me
beat me
take advantage of me.
pain flows through my nerves
into my brain and lets me
forget all of
the things
weighing down my day.
pain gets me off
pain makes me lose myself
in euphoria and feeling
and being
human in a raw
uncensored
regal sense
now if only
I could find somebody
willing to give me
what I want.

******* lips and steal my breath
gasping, back arching
I'm not allowed to mark you with my teeth
or nails
but I'll find other ways
of leaving a print

I filled my mouth with honey
Don't you want a taste?

Some of us are really hungry hungry hippos
But I'm a ***** ***** hippo
Sometimes I'm both