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Jolene Perron Jul 2011
Tired of being here,
of always asking why.
Of thinking of quitting,
of saying to all "goodbye!"

Tired of being sleepy,
of wanting to take a nap.
Of life being hecktick,
and being so out of whack.

Tired of pleasing everyone,
except just me.
Of not having time,
to just be sixteen.

Tired of counting days,
until my life changes.
Two weeks 'till seventeen,
and I'm turning pages.

Tired of writing my story,
but running out of ink.
Of pages being left,
one, two, three - Blank.

Tired of life,
of being always let down.
Of not being me,
and being, who, a clown?

Tired ... just a word,
with so many things it fits.
Tired, my dear,
doesn't begin to describe it ...
Sometimes life just gets you down. Maybe it's growing up, maybe it's the loss of sleep, maybe it's a boss you have ... whatever it is, life gets us all down and we use the word "tired" a lot, even when it doesn't particuarly mean "sleepy". Just, Tired.
Jul 2011 · 661
Only Sixteen
Jolene Perron Jul 2011
I’m looking in a mirror,
and this face I see,
Tall with dark features,
at the age of sixteen.

At the age of sixteen,
I have seen the world.
The people, the faces,
the boys and girls.

At the age of sixteen,
I haven’t been far from home.
But I’ve made some friends,
and I’m not alone.

At the age of sixteen,
I’m aware what’s right.
What’s wrong in this world,
the hate and the strife.

But at the age of sixteen,
what confuses me still.
Is how you have children,
on your own free will.

But don’t care for them,
and spread your charade to we.
But I see behind the curtains,
And I’m only sixteen.

I’m only sixteen,
and I see what you do.
I’m behind the acts,
I’m standing beside you.

I’m screaming in your ears,
“Oh, don’t you see?!
The mess you’ve made?”
And I’m only sixteen.

I’m only sixteen,
I manage a life.
I have two jobs,
I am not a wife.

But I am sixteen,
and for a while back there.
I saw your kids more,
and gave them more care.

I am only sixteen,
I will be seventeen soon.
But I’m not stupid,
and I see what you do.
Mar 2011 · 570
Becoming Numb
Jolene Perron Mar 2011
She walks through life,
Sunrise, sundown.
She begins to feel nothing,
she's wearing a frown.

Her perspective is lost,
her thoughts unknown.
Not even she,
can decipher this on her own.

Nothing is right,
and it doesn't make sense.
Why there are walls,
who put up this fence?

Is it a fear?
it's something she does not know.
She's oh so lost,
doesn't know where to go.

And she doesn't know why,
where it came from.
All she knows,
is she just feels numb.

She doesn't feel the sun,
she can't feel the warmth.
She's merely sliding by,
putting one foot forth.

The cold wind blows,
but it doesn't seem to matter.
She's standing at the bottom,
of this life's ladder.

And she's not quite sure,
where to go from here.
How to get farther,
how to conquere fear.

All she knows now,
not where she's from.
But all she feels now,
Mar 2011 · 554
Yours, Mine, Us.
Jolene Perron Mar 2011
You are fear,

You are sunshine,
                        ­          A dream.

We are everything,
                             ­      Wanted.

We are teenaged,

This is mine,
      ­                             Us.

This is not,

                     ­               Real.
Feb 2011 · 612
Never Leave
Jolene Perron Feb 2011
Have I ever mentioned,
that look in your eyes.
Makes me go crazy,
every single time.

You look at me,
you kiss my lips.
Your touch is warm,
upon my hips.

As you hold me close,
fitting like a piece.
Of the puzzle in your heart,
screaming defeat.

You've won me over,
my heart, my soul.
I'm falling, I'm falling,
I'm a spiraling fool.

But that's alright,
and I promise it's okay.
As long as I'm here with you,
yet another day.

As long as the sun shines,
warm on the earth.
As long as when you walk away,
my heart hurts.

So long as these feelings,
they never go away.
So long as you're here,
forever and always.
Feb 2011 · 582
A Way Out
Jolene Perron Feb 2011
I'm looking at myself,
in the mirrow in front of me.
I'm picturing who I was,
who I'll never again be.

Someone who's been forgotten,
and lost within the year.
The time that's passed in which,
I've shed millions of tears.

In searching for someone,
who was lost so far beneath.
The lies, the scars, the hatred,
couldn't stand on two feet.

I was always falling down,
I was always on my knees.
Crying out for help,
screaming "Someone. Please!"

I used to be someone,
who gave everything but.
Left nothing for myself,
and dug myself a rut.

I crawled down deep,
hiding in my shame.
Losing myself,
forgetting even my name.

But now as I stand,
confident and tall.
I see where I was,
and I'm tearing down the walls.

I'm loving who I am,
and where I am  in life.
I'm making a change now,
and everything is right.

My grades, my work, my life,
new friends I'm surrounded with.
The boy by my side,
who reassures me with each kiss.

I've taken myself from the drama,
the cruelty and lies.
I'm moving forward now,
leaving it all behind.

I'm someone different but,
never will I forget.
Who I was before,
everything that was meant.

For where I've been back there,
and where I am now.
Is the secret to the life,
in which I have found.

I'm standing tall and proud,
beautiful inside and out.
I didn't run away from it,
instead, I found a way out ...
Feb 2011 · 686
Pictures and Memories
Jolene Perron Feb 2011
Going through pictures,
the moments, the laughs.
Going through memories,
when I sat on your lap.

I captured a moment,
who we were back then.
Wasn't long ago,
but I remember when.

The exact moment in time,
when my finger hit the button.
Who we were then,
it seems to be forgotten.

I'm tired of moving on,
I just want to stay still.
Be me, as I am, forever,
I'm wishing with all my will.

I don't wanna grow up,
don't wanna lose this.
Who we all used to be,
it's something I truely miss.

Back then, back when,
we were loving and laughing.
University was far away,
life seemed like a simple thing.

But now, I'm struggling,
school, social life, work and sleep.
Seems we can only ever have,
one, two, maybe three.

And as we grow up , get older,
things are constantly at change.
People grow up,
and sometimes feelings fade.

I hate change,
and I only wish it would stop.
But it doesn't matter,
what I wish, what I want.

Because life is going to keep moving,
and I just have to hold on.
Look at this picture and memory,
and accept that it's gone.
Jan 2011 · 560
Ruin is Transformation
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
There are things in this life,
that I live for every day.
Things in this life in which,
I lose myself in every way.

Your eyes, your hands,
the way you hold me just so.
They way you kiss my lips,
as I'm wishing you would never go.

The way the clouds in the sky,
looking so fluffy one afternoon.
Then suddenly, they take a turn,
and there's no sight of even the moon.

The way the music flows,
softly in my ears.
As I sit and listen with you,
and it drowns out my fears.

You, you're beautiful to me,
and if only you could see.
How strong you really are,
how amazing you can be.

You give me butterflies,
and it's truely amazing now.
How the world can be collapsing beneath,
but you're with me anyhow.

We're so afraid of change, and yet,
it's so prominent in our lives.
Things fall apart, things fall together,
things left like destructed coal mines.

Life can fall apart,
and our world can be in ruins.
But this is the road to transformation,
let us let it begin.
Jan 2011 · 1.5k
Head over Heels
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
Hey there, morning glory,
in this brand new light.
My mind is going in thirty directions,
I'm thinking fight or flight.

Your touch is like fire,
your kisses burn my lips.
My tummy's turning like never before,
your hands upon my hips.

You moved in quick at first,
I was almost caught off guard.
Even after knowning you,
for three years, I was alarmed.

But it's never felt so right,
and not quite so intense.
You broke down my brick wall,
put a hole in my fence.

And now you have me singing,
my, oh my, oh my.
You've shown me compassion,
and trust so hard to find.

You're the only person around,
who's never left my side.
Who could know not a thing going on,
but be there immediately to confide.

You've held me close before,
told me reassuring words.
You always know just what to say,
to take away my hurt.

And now here we are,
our friendship's taken a turn.
Would you have thought three years ago,
it would be for my heart you's yearn?

When we sat reading to eachother,
our stories and poetry after school.
That now you would be holding me,
could I have been that much of a fool.

Not to see the way you look,
that compassion in your eyes.
I'm seeing you differently now,
after all of my goodbyes.

I'm hoping that just maybe,
this is true, for real.
Because, darling, I've fallen for you,
and I'm going head over heels.
Jan 2011 · 678
I Pomise, I'm a Fighter
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
This is something moral,
something I believe.
I promise, I won't stop,
fighting 'till I acheieve.

You may call me,
some kind of drama queen.
But there's more to it,
you're not listening to me.

I have a reason behind,
there's truth in all I say.
I'm fighting for a good reason,
in each and every way.

The truth, the lies, the story,
everything I know.
Fighting for beliefs,
or for someone not to go.

For something maybe anything,
but I promise I won't quit.
And I won't put up with this,
none of your ****.

Because what I believe is true,
are my morals and they're mine.
I'll make them heard, I promise,
I'm a fighter, you're out of line.
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
Cut from your mother,
for your own sick needs.
For someone else's pleasure,
and no else sees.

How sick this is,
it's cruel and wrong.
It's horrible, it's selfish,
and it has been all along.

On a woman, on a pig,
any animal of any kind.
Can't you see the sickness?
the cruelty behind ?

To rip the fetus from,
the flesh of it's mother.
It never took a breath,
never felt the weather.

It never saw day,
never tasted the air.
Tell what about this exactly,
is honestly fair?
We were supposed to start our dissection of a fetal pig today in Biology. I walked out of the room crying ... I explained to the teacher I couldn't do it, that it wasn't fair, that it was abortion. These are my thoughts on abortion.
Jan 2011 · 1.0k
Pathetic Loser
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
Using others around you,
for your own sick needs.
You have them begging,
upon their knees.

Until they realize,
who you really are.
But no one believes,
and you've left them scarred.

You're nothing but pathetic,
and you'll get yours I'm sure.
You're nothing but a loser,
who torments innocent girls.

Who makes them fall hard,
and you get scared and flee.
And yourself look awesome,
smelling like roses while she.

She's left pining for you,
to come back to her.
You claim you care,
then go back on your word.

You spread lies and rumours,
and people believe.
The lie you're spinning,
the ways you deceive.

You get a girl to fight your war,
when you're a perfectly capable man.
And then you scurry off,
to hold the new girls hand.

You're a loser, you're pathetic,
and you'll get yours some day.
You're get hurt and then you'll see,
what you do every day.
Jan 2011 · 491
Life Out There
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
She grew up too fast,
that tiny little girl.
Forced to mature,
in this cold, cruel world.

Sh never let you see,
no, she never let you know.
What she missed out on,
when she had to grow.

Now she's searching,
for a better life somewhere.
She wants tender love,
sweetness and care.

These people in life,
do nothing but shatter.
They rip her apart,
break her heart which is tattered.

There's a blue sky, she knows,
somewhere out there.
And someone who's gotta,
who just has to care.

She's gonna escape,
out past the horizon there.
Find what she's missing,
in that life out there.
Jan 2011 · 479
Leave This Place
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
There's a girl I know,
and from the outside looking in.
She's got it all,
a job, a family and friends.

Her eyes pop,
her body with curves.
Some days she feels,
like she's on top of the world.

But did you know she falls,
and when she's alone, she cries.
In such a great life,
there isn't happiness to find.

She has all she wanted,
but still feels she's missing.
Something very important,
and no one is listening.

She loses herself,
in music each day.
As she floats to a world,
oh so far away.

But she can't figure out,
just what it is that's gone.
And she doesn't quite know,
just what is wrong.

But as the music grasps her,
and the lyrics unfold.
She thinks of a place,
as she hides from the cold.

A place so far,
very far away.
You go and be gone,
just any random day.

And she wants to go,
to leave this place.
To meet new people,
learn a new face.

Maybe that's what she needs,
is to just get a way.
For a week or two,
more than just a day.

Because something is missing,
you can see it in her face.
She needs to find something,
to get out of this place...
Jan 2011 · 461
I think ... I think ...
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
I walk into a room,
and what a surprise.
I find you sitting,
just before my eyes.

Playing your music,
not soft and sweet.
But it's still enough,
to knock me off my feet.

I wave a gentle hello,
but then turn around.
I've lost the strength,
that once I'd found.

I race upstairs,
holding in tears.
And when I reach lonliness,
I left go of my fears.

I climb up in a window,
where I sat long ago.
And embrace emotions,
as they start to flow.

The tears keep falling,
and now I can't hide.
All the feelings for you,
I've kept inside.

When I sit next to you,
I want to lean towards.
Give you a kiss,
move a relationship forward.

I'm a mess, don't you know,
I don't know what to do.
Because, I'm an idiot,
and I think I'm in love with you...
Jan 2011 · 660
Why Can't You See This?
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
You know that girl,
the one that you're with.
You've given her chances,
more than she even deserves.
And yett, still, you're with her,
when you have someone else.
Someone who's standing infront of you,
staring you in the eyes.
Someone who wants everything,
that you want and more.
Someone who believes in you,
even when everything's wrong.
Who understands when you're upset,
when things go wrong.
And she's always there,
like she has been for years.
she never left your side,
even when you left hers.
When you pulled that disappearing act,
but then suddenly returned.

This girl, the one you're with,
how many chances have you given her?
How many times have you wasted,
chance after chance.
Night after night coaxing her,
apologizing for your 'wrongs'.
Listening to her apologize,
but I know it means nothing.

Everytime I hear you talk about her,
I cringe, my heart speeds up.
I feel my blood coarsing through my veins,
I feel the heat rushing to my cheeks.
This is wrong, don't you see?
you're just not meant to be together.
Why can't you see that ?
why don't you just walk away?

She does nothing but hurt you,
and it kills me.
It kills me to see you hurt like that,
after all these years.
After watching her yell at you,
after hearing her talk about you.
I can't stand it,
I can't help it.

I just want you,
With me tonight,

**Why can't you see that?
Jan 2011 · 1.6k
Two-Faced Player
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
See that girl over there,
in the corner of the room.
She acts like she knows,
everything about you.

She talks behind our backs,
but she never confronts us.
Acting all that,
for her, it is a must,

But you've never told her much,
to do with your life.
And the words she says about you,
are only out of strife.

And when she speaks to you,
she says her words with a smile.
When we both know,
she's nothing but a liar.

Her face, it's doubled,
one in front and behind.
A face she puts on,
and one she tries to hide.

Because to all of them,
it's someone certain she has to be.
She's not truthful like us,
nothing like you or me.

But she'll go on with words,
the stories she's saying.
To her, it's nothing,
just a life with which she's playing.
Jan 2011 · 590
All The People
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
Have you ever really looked,
at the people all around.
With stories and lives,
their minds profound.

The teen mom,
with a baby on her hip.
Thin and lanky,
bruises and a fat lip.

Struggling to get away,
from the abusive man she's with.
She screams all night long,
"I've had enough!"

And the man, abusing,
the teen with the baby.
He might just be struggling too,
maybe, just maybe.

All he knows is abuse in life,
that's all his father did.
To his mother, all along,
since he was just a kid.

The man in the corner,
sitting alone today.
Wondering if his life,
if it will ever be okay.

His friends, they pressure,
him into the drugs, the steriods.
They tell him "Just one hit,
what are you, scared, boy ? "

The girl down the street,
struggling to fit in.
Her clothes, her looks,
they don't match the other kids.

She's different, she's dark,
and she keeps to herself.
But she wants to be like them,
it's a need she can not help.

Lying beneath the surface,
there is a storm inside.
In him, in her,
even one that is mine.

Everyone struggles,
to be who they are.
To get what they want,
to make it this far.

Have you ever looked,
at the people all around.
Their minds, complex,
their stories, profound.
Jan 2011 · 479
I Want More
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
I'm walking down the street,
cars passing by.
As I think of the days,
the times you were mine.

Don't you realize,
how much I miss you ?
Wishing you were here with me,
in all that I do.

Maybe, just maybe,
I want you to talk to me.
Make an effort to be here,
don't you see?

I've fallen like a fool,
for you, my dear.
Oh darling, why can't you,
be around to gather my tears.

As I walk down the street,
in compelete darkess it seems.
I'm alone, I'm alone,
falling apart at the seams.

I'm spiraling into a world unknown,
unlike those before.
You say we're friends, but hunny,
I can't help wanting more.
Jan 2011 · 838
Drawing The Line
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
You talk of her,
that girl you're with.
My feelings for you,
I've tried to dismiss.

All this time,
you know how I've felt.
But for me I put,
my feelings on a shelf.

You tell me of her,
your arguments and fights.
As I look out the window,
into the night.

"What's the point,
of being together.
When you can't fix the storm,
you've tried to weather?"

You tell me you don't know,
that you're really unsure.
You both know it's over,
you being with her.

But no one has the guts,
to just pull the plug.
And you don't want,
to be the one.

"Grow some *****,
won't you please?"
In my mind,
I'm begging on my knees.

"Fine I will!", you say,
as you lean in towards me.
I can feel my heart flutter,
then sink down to my feet.

A silence falls,
between me and you.
I'm at lost for words,
or what to do.

"Listen," I say,
as I look toward your eyes.
"I can't be with someone,
within a million lies...

"I can't be with someone,
who can't be with my fully.
Until you break up with her,
this is how it is, hunny."

I look out the window,
as I begin to cry.
I don't know if you realize,
how much I wish you were mine.
Jan 2011 · 527
This is, I am, You Are...
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
You're confusing,
and you make my head spin,
and anger is only rising.
You're the only one,
who only hurts me,
with this pointless goodbyeing.
And I want your touch,
and only you,
this feeling hurts so much.
You say one word,
but then you replace it,
the truth from some girl.
You finally get it out,
the truth I want,
as I begin to shout.
And now, I have,
what I wanted all along,
from this stupid mishap.
But I have to console,
me by myself,
in this world alone.

You're amazing,
you're sweet,
and oh so charming.
Your eyes,
they're gorgeous,
I wish you were mine.
Making me fall into you,
making me a fool.
with all you say and do.

Now I sit here,
comtemplating life,
shedding tears.
Holding the blade,
inches away,
decision to be made.
Knowing I'm giving in,
spiraling into addiction,
regretting all my sins.
That old addiction I've fought,
kept away for months,
Forgetting all I was taught.

This is me,
this is failure,
this is falling apart.
These are thoughts,
I can't expresses,
Hidden in my heart.
T'here's not really a consistant rhyming scheme to this poem, I know, but I was aiming for expression.
Jan 2011 · 425
Have You Ever ...
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
Have you ever wondered,
if you'll ever find someone.
Who loves you, for you,
whose heart is unconditonal.
Someone who lives to make you,
happier than you could ever imagine.
A person who holds you,
and makes you feel safe.
A man who you can hug, kiss,
and fall into completely.
Someone who you can trust,
with every secret and every mistake.
Someone who doesn't judge you,
who loves you right or wrong.
A person that, with them,
everything is right.

Have you ever been scared,
that nothign will work.
That it all falls apart,
because you're doing something wrong.
That it's all your fault,
that nothing is right.
Have you ever doubted yourself?
have you ever doubted the world?
Have you ever wondered,
when will it be my turn.
For things to go right,
for things to work out.

The world keeps spinning,
while I stand here,
*Why ...
Jan 2011 · 509
Begging to White Walls
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
He tells her that his feelings,
they're there but he is not.
She wants him to stay,
to never be forgot.

She wants her love,
to be enough to make him stay.
But she's answered by the tail lights,
shining bright across her face.

"Turn around ... " she whispers,
silently to on her own.
Standing by the stairs,
this time she's alone.

He claims he wants to be,
alone for just a while.
As he drive away down the street,
mile after mile.

Talking to him earlier,
she asked him to speak his mind.
As cruel as it may be,
it was better than a lie.

He told her straight up,
his feelings were still there.
But in his mind, he's lost,
as much as he still cares.

Even though he hurt her,
while she stood there crying tears.
He was the one she wanted,
to hold her and gather her fears.

He's the one she wanted,
to chase the demons away.
To weather her storm,
tell her it's gonna be okay.

But she curls up in bed,
as a tear silently falls.
"All I want is you...",
she begs to white bedroom walls ...
Dec 2010 · 767
Where I Belong
Jolene Perron Dec 2010
I don't belong,
I don't believe,
I don't feel ...

This is how I was,
this is what it was like.
before my thoughts,
before I felt.
I didn't belong,
I felt outcasted.
If you can't take me,
for who I am,
then why,
just please tell me why,
should I put myself there,
in a place,
where I don't belong anymore ?

I've found better things,
a place I can be,
and never feel misplaced.
I've found better people,
who accept me for me.
So tell me now,
why in the world,
would I go back to a place,
where I just don't belong anymore ?

People change, feelings fade,
nothing stays the same.
I still consider you,
every one of you,
a friend.
Someone who's changed my life,
but I don't belong here,
so I'm going somewhere,
with someone,
where I belong.
Dec 2010 · 480
Throwing It Away
Jolene Perron Dec 2010
at least once a day,
I'd like to slap you across the face
Knock some sense into your brain
Maybe, just maybe
then you'll see
What you have some people would
And you're willing to just up
and throw all of it away
What is wrong with you ?
You have parents, married, together
you have a beautiful house
a father who works hard every day
to provide for you and give you the world
a mother who cooks and cleans
It's a home from the sixties
and don't you see?
They work hard each day so you don't have to
they have given you a list
a million and one
oppourtunities in this world
We may not agree with some things
there are some things wrong, yes
But when you stand back
and you look at all they've given you
given you out of love
why are you willing to just up
and throw it all away ?
When you look into any household
there's always problems
But yours, they don't compare
You have money saved to go to college
you can be anything you want to be
and not worry about spending any of your own money
They've provided it all for you
to live a happy healthy life
You're all set
But you're all set to leave
to throw it all away
Loving parents, still together,
a beautiful home,
oppourtunities we only wish to have
Dec 2010 · 530
Was It My Fault ?
Jolene Perron Dec 2010
The memory doesn't fade,
the words and hurt.
It doesn't go away,
the day he lifted up my shirt.

He fiddled with my belt,
and then with his own.
But when I tried to say stop,
my voice was not my own.

I knew I was inferior,
to his touch and weight.
I knew what happened then,
I would forever hate.

I screamed as loud,
as I possibly could.
But no one could hear,
and no one ever would.

My pants slipped down,
choking back tears.
This moment cause me,
a life full of fear.

His hands on my wrists,
holding me down.
His weight on top of me,
my back to the ground.

I loved him once,
something I regret,
Then he hurt me,
and I haven't forgotten yet.

It hurts to remember,
but I can not forget.
That moment in time,
I so deeply regret.

Was it my fault?
did I deserve this.
The life I had then,
every painful kiss since.

It was all my fault,
I tried to say no.
I couldn't wiggle out,
I couldn't run or go.

It didn't matter before,
and it doesn't now.
A distant memory,
I try to get over some how ..
Dec 2010 · 508
My Boyy
Jolene Perron Dec 2010
You touch my softly,
and my heart melts.
You look at me that way,
it's better than all I've felt.

Your eyes, they sparkle,
your personality shines.
This love is ours,
this feeling is mine.

From the hair on your head,
to converse on your feet.
You make me smile,
and my heart beat.

The way you hold me,
you make me feel safe.
The past I've held,
you help me erase.

To live and let learn,
make the best of today.
I live in the moment,
I'm me in every way.

I can hear myself laugh,
and feel myself smile.
It's been so long,
it's been such a while.

Look at all you've done,
and you continue to do more.
When I am with you,
life is never a bore.

With you I feel safe,
and I can't help but smile.
I love being with you,
even for just a while.
Dec 2010 · 498
People Always Leave
Jolene Perron Dec 2010
Just walk on in and I won't think twice,
hold me this time and leave again.
Call me your angel of the morning,
and leave me alone this time.
Rumours are always there,
no matter where we turn they surface.
They rip and tear apart the truth,
and the wreck absolutely everything.
It's rumours fault that you're gone,
it's lies fault that you disappear again.
I was holding on so tightly,
and I got attached only to get broken.
I jumped into the arms of someone,
a best friend I wanted to trust and care for me.
But it's because of them, the rumours and lies,
it's because of that we can not see eachother.
Why should we let them dictate?
why should it matter to us ?
If we're happy, who are they to **** in?
If we like how things are, who are they to say 'no'?
This isn't fair, I'm tired of this,
the light turned green and off you went.
But there wasn't anything I could say,
because you have the will to do as you please.
The time we spent together, my darling,
you will never know how much it impacted me.
How much all of this changed my life,
and how hurt I am now to watch you go.
I'm sure we'll see eachother again,
but sweetie, it's not the same, it's not fair.
I get to lay here all alone,
in this cold messed up life.
But I'm tired of all of this *******,
and I'm tired of this awful life.
This is stupid and pointless and rumours,
they mean nothing in reality so why.
Tell me why did you have to leave?
tell me why did you have to go?

People always leave,
prove to me that's not true.
People always leave,
and they're not coming back.
People always leave,
and I'm alone again.
Nov 2010 · 439
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
I'm done, I'm done,
I'm screaming to the sky.
It's over, I'm finished,
my final goodbye.

I wish there was,
another way but.
It's over, I'm done,
enough is enough.

My paradise so gone,
far away disappeared.
This place I'm in,
is everything I've feared.

I'm gone, I'm gone,
and I'm not coming back.
I'm changing, I'm growing,
I'm dieing in this hole so black.

I'm sinking, I'm fading,
and I'm falling away.
Do you think you could,
for once maybe save.

This little lost girl,
so confused and yet.
Trying to find meanings,
in things not meant.

The razor, the blood,
dripping scarlet red.
As she lays, fading,
curled up on the bed.

The world fading,
as she falls into the black.
This is my final goodbye,
and I'm not coming back.
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
I think that you would be surprised,
how much I think about you.
If you only knew just what I thought about,
you'd be really amazed how crazy I am about you.
When you hold me in your arms,
my entire world stands still.
My everything is right,
my everything is standing before me.
Big blue eyes staring back at me,
so beautiful and right.
Your touch is gentle and warm,
taking away all my pain.
You know just how to hold me,
just how to soothe me.
I don't understand how I missed,
I didn't know for years.
But now here we are in a moment,
everything stands still.

But her.
That girl.
The one you're with.
What about her?

You don't want to be with her,
and everything seems so complicated.
But I don't know, sweetie,
just how long I can stand.|
To share you, with her,
to have you go between.
I've come to be 'the other woman',
someone I've avoided till now.
And hunny, I wish you knew,
just how I felt about this whole ordeal.

I'm falling,
falling quickly,
falling fast,
but can you catch me,
while you're holding her?
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
The light of morning,
moving slowly across your face,
The blue in the sky matching your eyes,
your arms wrapped around me.
I lay next to you,
breathing in everything you are,
Falling into you deeper, deeper,
everything right, everything makes sense.
This moment all I've waited for,
years I've only dreamed,
And here, I swear, I'm dreaming,
holding you, holding me.
Your smile wide across your face,
you're warming my heart,
The butterflies spin and spiral,
and I'm falling.
I can't stop smiling now,
you've got me in the air,
And when your lips touch mine,
my heart beats out of my chest.
Everything is right,
everything makes sense,
I'm falling for you,
catch me if you can ...
Nov 2010 · 515
Give Me A Reason
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
Your eyes your smile,
your age and mine.
Your touch, your lips,
my undying mind.

My thoughts, my words,
living a fairytale.
The butterflies, the heat,
this seems so unreal.

Three years ago,
never would I have imagined.
We'd end up this way,
my heart started to blacken.

But you pulled me in close,
for that longed for kiss.
Your embrace, your smile,
and everything I've missed.

Did you know while you were gone,
I thought about you?
Your music, your voice,
the emotions you pursued.

But after all that's happened,
things you don't know yet.
All the things that stress me,
over which I've wept.

These things, well darling,
they have me terrified.
I'm so scared to just let go,
let you into my mind.

Give me a reason,
say to me some words.
Something no one else knows,
something to heal the hurt.

The age, the history,
the touch, the kiss.
Everything I want,
you're everything I miss.

I'm scared, I'm crying,
give me a reason please.
To let you in my heart,
I'm down here on my knees ...
Nov 2010 · 513
Spiraling Addiction
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
This need, this want,
everything inside.
A past, my present,
it is all mine.

The spiral, the circle,
falling within.
Escape, escape,
the place I'm in.

It's so easy right now,
to just go back.
Give into the needs,
the confidence I lack.

To destroy completely,
a years work so far.
I've been clean, but,
it's getting harder and harder.

The blade, the skin,
sometimes just seem one.
So easy to go back,
the battle is never won.

When stress builds up,
when life gets hard.
It's three steps back.
and only one forward.

It's easy, it's simple,
I want to be free...
but giving in is simple,
like one...
Nov 2010 · 386
Here with You
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
The world stands still,
when you look at me like that.
And all I feel is passion,
no more confidence I lack.

Everything is paused,
my world on hold.
When you hold me in your arms,
the cards begin to fold.

Everything is right,
nothing is wrong.
This can't last forever,
not very long.

But as long as we are here,
in this moment together.
I just feel right,
I'm here forever.
Nov 2010 · 446
Here's to Lessons
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
I'm sitting down here,
I'm sinking, falling, feeling.
I'm surrounded here,
but I feel lonely and concealing.

They don't understand,
this feeling, those thoughts.
They don't see me,
and how I'm getting lost.

It's hard to understand,
I know this to be true.
Not only have I gone through it,
but I saw it happen to you.

Sometimes when you're looking,
from the outside in.
You blame yourself for not realizing,
the hurt and anger within.

But when you're there,
in that situation at that time.
You don't understand your feelings,
how can they be mine?

I look back on these feelings,
on these times in life.
When all I felt was sadness,
the hurt and anger and strife.

And now I really know,
that all you can do is learn.
From the happiness, sadness,
each and every burn.

Life is filled with lessons,
anf here I raise my glass.
I proudly love me for me,
long time, at last.
Nov 2010 · 517
We're All Human
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
Have you ever just stood still,
felt the world move beneath your feet.
Have you ever let something happen,
be calm, be still, be you.

Have you ever just been honest,
but no one really believes.
Have you ever tried to be calm,
but everything leaves you not to be.

Have you ever just been tired,
of the drama, the hurt, the lies.
Have you ever taken yourself away,
and looked at the situation from afar.

Have you ever really noticed,
how much we over react.
Have you ever heard something and assumed,
or heard a lie and thought it to be true.

Have you ever been a culpret,
of lieing, assuming, starting drama,
of trying, crying, fighting for what's right,
of lonliness, trying, of breaking down.

We all do it,
we're all guilty,
we're all tired,
we're all *HUMAN
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
I wish you would turn around,
just look and you would see.
You played with my heart,
and left me all alone.

Well until you can tell me,
just what you're thinking.
Until you can stop saying ****,
and see what you're really doing.

Turn around, and treat her right,
no matter who she is.
She's a woman, you're a man,
and you need to learn, hunny.

You can take your friendship,
and shove it up your ***.
Until you can sit down,
and talk it out like a man.

If you have a problem,
it's really not all that hard.
Instead of being a wuss,
try telling her.

Women really aren't that difficult,
as long as you're honest.
So until you can be honest with me,
well, I'm sure you get the ******* idea.
Nov 2010 · 530
Living A Movie
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
Look around the room,
look at everyone around you.
People who are friends,
that you now call liars.

Look at all the faces,
all the girls who are telling you.
Look at all the stories,
all of the complete facts.

People you trust,
people who you love.
People that love you,
who are only looking out for you.

But you refuse to believe,
so we go to great lengths.
We're trying to make you see,
what's really going on.

What you don't see,
is the second half of this.
The story he's hiding,
the second half of the message.

What you're blind to,
is the reality behind this lie.
What you need to see,
so that you don't get hurt.

Don't you see?
Don't you understand?
We're not trying to hurt you.
We're trying to help you.

We go to great lengths,
we put ourselves on the line.
You may think we're lieing,
that we're being nothing but rude.

But hunny, look around,
look at all the stories.
Hunny, please begin to see,
what we're doing here.

It's a John Tucker situation,
we're living a movie now.
It's sad, but it's the truth,
and I promise I won't quit.

Not until you understand,
not until you see.
Hunny, look at the man before you,
and compare him to us.

One man's story,
3 girl's "Lies".
Look at yourself,
who do you believe now?
Nov 2010 · 753
Mother Nature and Me
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
The clouds, the sky,
the blue within.
My heart, my eyes,
looking for a friend.

The sun, the rays,
the warmth that lies beneath.
Her words, her thoughts,
have me talking through my teeth.

The grass, the grenery,
it's dieing this time of year.
My heart, my eyes,
have been nothing but sheding tears.

The water, the lake,
so calming in it's presence.
I'm asking, I'm begging,
for respect and nothing less.

The thunder, the lightening,
the calm before the storm.
It flashes, deep inside,
my heart which is torn.

The rain, the hail,
it pours over the ground.
I'm shaking, I'm breaking,
and there's no one around ...
Nov 2010 · 567
Have I Ever Told You ? <3
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
Have I ever told you,
I miss you very much.
Every single word,
and every little touch.

Have I ever told you,
you mean the world to me?
Everything inside of you,
is all I wish I could be.

Have I ever told you,
how beautiful you are?
Your eyes shine so bright,
that they warm up my heart.

Have I ever told you,
how warm you are to feel?
That you make me smile,
and you make my world unreal.

Have I ever told you,
you fill my life with joy.
With every text and each message,
each and every story.

Have I ever told you,
I couldn't live without you?
If you left me here and now,
I don't know what I'd do.

Have I ever told you,
you're my very best friend.
And if it turned to more than that,
I would never want to see the end.

Have I ever told you,
you mean the world to me.
And I wish that you were here,
and you are all I see...
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
You with her,
and I feel the pull.
My heart strings tangle,
I'm left unfull.

My head is spinning,
I'm so confused.
I feel let down,
I feel used.

Everything everywhere,
you're no where that I need.
Your signals so mixed,
and you're so hard to read.

Just be up front with me,
please just once.
Realize that I've fallen for you,
and honesty is a must.

But you seem to have put up,
this wall so very high.
You won't let me in any more,
is it time to say goodbye?

Just please explain to me,
what's going on with you.
I would love to sit down and talk,
but it seems like I bug you.

Every day I wonder,
today I broke down and cried.
I'm confused, what's going on?
I wish that you were mine...
Nov 2010 · 721
Screaming ...
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
Words ...
                             Speak ...

I just want to Scream

Listen ...
                        Understand ...
                                       Silence ...

Would you ever Hear me?

Unaudiable ...
                    Reaching ...
                                    Silence ...

*But She Wants To Scream ...
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
He tells me he loves me,
and then he turns away.
He holds her in his arms,
another time today.

I tell him if he thinks,
that he loves me still.
Why is he with her?
is she only time to ****?

Boys, boys, boys,
they're nothing but crazy.
Sometimes I'm confused,
I'm left feeling hazy.

I'm screaming, I'm crying,
I need someone to help me now.
Pick me up, I've fallen,
I'm laying on the ground.

This life, those twists,
so hard and uncontrolled.
I'm only sixteen and yet,
I'm feeling oh so old.

This life, it takes,
and never seems to give.
They tell us to take control,
this is our life to live.

Well, he's listening to others,
telling him it's right.
While he's sitting there confused,
he cries throughout the night.

I'm laying in bed,
staring at the white above.
A blank canvas, they say,
to paint what you're dreaming of.

But how can we sort out,
this life that makes no sense.
And walk down each path,
that has a high fence.

I'm sixteen and yet,
I'm confused and sitting still.
Please point out the right path,
and help me if you will ...
Oct 2010 · 496
Halloween Friends
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
Scarry goblins in the corners,
witches vampires and more.
Halloween is any girls' excuse,
to dress up like a *****.

But me and my friends? No,
we get together and chill.
We get a few to do our bidding,
stealing their candy is our thrill.

We sit around and laugh,
we poke fun at one another.
It's time to just be ourselves,
and time to laugh with eachother.

This Halloween was easily the best,
that I have ever had.
No one cried, everyone laughed,
and no one even got mad.

We just sat around and laughed,
we joked and we had fun.
These are my Halloween friends,
I hope we have more than this one.
Oct 2010 · 752
I'm No Angel, Honey.
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
I ask you to go away,
you text me again.
You tell me all you want,
is to be my friend.

Does a true friend,
hack someone's Twitter?
Do they mess around,
trying to upset her?

Does a true friend try,
to ruin the other's day?
Twisting everything,
and every word they say?

Does a true friend ridicule,
about the other's job?
When they themselves,
can't do much better?

All this happens,
all in one day.
I'm left astounded,
but the words you say.

I've done my fair share,
I do admit.
But for a while now,
I've remained quiet.

You play the good guy,
but look at what you do.
Honey, I'm no angel,
but neither are  you.
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
I'm not afraid to stand up this far,
I'm scared to fall and be forever scarred.
I'm not afraid to walk now alone,
But to be forever on my very own.  

I'm not afraid to sing aloud,
I'm scared I'll be told shut up right now.
I'm not afraid to let trust in,
I'm scared it'll be broken and proven wrong again.  

I'm not afraid of death to come,
I'm scared I won't accomplish what I want to get done.
I'm not afraid to love and let my heart soar,
I'm scared he won't want to and I'll be left unsure.  

I'm not afraid to love I'm scared to be broken,
To let love in is an invitation for the heart to slowly blacken.
I'm not afraid to love or to let him in,
Because I trust his heart and that's a good place to begin.
Today, October 26 2010, I recieved a letter in the mail from Creative Communications telling me that I was one of the many people who entered their poetry contest to win. I get to be published in one of their seasonal Anthologies. Some of you may notice this poem is taken from a previous one, it's just modified and shortened. This is because thier contest entries are only allowed to be 21 lines. Just thought I'd give you a background on the poem :)
Oct 2010 · 604
Does He Even Know?
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
She sits, she sings, she talks.
She ponders, she thinks, she worries.
She loves, she loses, she mopes.
             She lost,
                             Her Love.
                                            The Distance...

She falls, she yearns, she needs.
She wants, she sees, she feels.
She embraces, she holds, she engulfs.
             His touch,
                             His essance,
                                            He's everything...

She's falling,
                         in a new love.
She's losing,
                        her old love.
She's running,
                                                       pushing them away.
She's building,
                     walls for them to tear.
She wants,
                    to see who cares enough.
She needs,
                                                       them to tear the walls.

She's falling, falling, falling...
                                      She's feeling, embracing, falling...

                      Does he even know?
Oct 2010 · 840
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
My head is in the clouds,
I'm dreaming here again.
You're everything I want,
you are my best friend.

Your eyes so bright with colour,
well they catch me everyday.
My heart twists with passion,
I can't find words to say.

You walk with confidence,
and you hold your head up proud.
Sometimes I still can't believe,
what an amazing person I've found.

Your voice so deep,
alluring and captivating.
Your hugs so warm and tight,
sometimes they have me shaking.

My dreams fly high at night,
the dream we'll be together.
Some day you'll hold me different,
and maybe you'll say forever.

You make my dreams fly always,
and every day to day.
But I can only wish for words,
and hope one day you will say.

Forever and always you'll be,
with me in a different stance.
Maybe one day you'll see,
maybe I'll have my chance.
Oct 2010 · 1.0k
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
The touching and feeling,
how they made eachother feel.
Before that everything,
it seemed so unreal.

They say this thing,
it changes everything.
She didn't beleive that till,
he and her had their fling.

The first time they were together,
sparks flew and hit the sky.
But after time when on,
aftre they said goodbye.

Their talks grew and grew,
but slowly began to deminish.
And the next they were together,
they resolved what was unfinished.

She felt there's something missing,
the connection between is lost.
She's waiting to hold something,
that is too far gone.

When people never stay,
and they always have to leave.
It gets harder to bear,
harder to believe.

The connection between you,
is growing farther away.
They're leading seperate lives,
and there is no other way.

The tie that they once had,
how could it be saved?
She's busy with her life,
she doesn't stop each day.

She's lost in her emotions,
she doesn't know what to do.
What would you do,
if this girl was you?
Oct 2010 · 721
Is That Really Necessary?
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
You taunting, your laughter,
they all join in.
They smile, they sing,
the rejoice in your hymn.

They praise, they laugh,
they think it's alright.
But do they all know,
that little girl cries at night?

Your laughter, your words,
she thought you were her friends.
She's seeing your snickers,
she feels like the end.

It's stupid, it's pointless,
for you to poke fun.
At someone, unlike you,
she is the innocent one.

It's time to stop, to settle down,
her eyes are weak and weary.
Now honey, ask yourself,
is this really necessary?

For her to feel unwelcome,
as if her best friend betrayed.
This feeling goes on,
it lasts for days.

But we can stop it,
if we only listen close.
To a heart that beats,
and what matters most.
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