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12.7k · Aug 2010
It's All My Fault, I'm Sorry.
Jolene Perron Aug 2010
I tell you I only take part of the blame,
but in my mind I take it all.
I act to them like I'm doing much better,
but all I can do lately is fall.

I wish you would look at me and see,
I wish you would understand.
I feel like it was ALL my fault...
I wish you would be the one to hold my hand...

You were always there when things were wrong,
when things got way too tough.
Even though I love you with all of my heart,
I'm afraid lately love is not enough.

I'm blaming myself for everything,
and I have since we began.
I'm screaming out to the world, darling,
won't you hold my hand?

I want to be able to walk away together,
from all the rubble and dust.
Leave this place and all of the ashes,
getting coffee together is a must.

I wish you knew, darling,
that I blame myself everyday.
And I wish I could change it all,
in every single way.

I wish you knew, sweetheart,
all I want is just one more chance.
For you to look me in the eyes,
to take and hold my hands.

To tell me it's not true,
my thoughts are merely lies.
It's not all my fault,
and you're coming to stay by my side.

I miss you like you wouldn't believe,
and I'm willing to start again.
Please say you'll give me the chance,
and be, again, my very best friend...<3
Jolene Perron Aug 2010
Your touch on my skin,
the way you feel.
You make me smile,
this seems unreal.

Your kiss to my lips,
you give me chills.
Your hands on my back,
give me a thrill.

I kiss you slowly,
your embrace stays warm.
Your hands slide up,
my shirt that's torn.

They rest on my back,
feeling my skin.
My hands in your hair,
how long it's been...

I look up at you,
deep into your eyes.
Up at a man,
wish he was mine.

The familar touch,
the warm embrace.
Makes me tremble,
my heart ache.

I open my eyes,
look up above.
Just a dream,
my heart wishes of.

Sitting on my lips,
I can still feel that kiss.
You're everything I want,
and everything I miss.
2.7k · Sep 2010
New Year (Without You)
Jolene Perron Sep 2010
New job, new boy, new year,
this is what it's about.
New life, new start, new begining,
I'm begining to mend my heart.

I'm leaving it all behind,
that life is in the dust.
I'm trying to mend my heart,
for that, this is a must.

The friends, the love, the life,
it's all becoming new.
The happiness, smiles, the grace,
I'm finding in someone who.

Gives a **** about me,
my hurt and struggles and fears.
Let's me know I'm beautiful,
and tries to dry my tears.

I'm mending all the wrong,
I'm making it all right.
I'm looking out for me now,
I'm officially ending this fight.

I don't care where it started,
but now I believe is the end.
Time to look at all the tattered,
broken and dirtied loose ends.

I'm starting a new job,
getting away from him.
Started a new school year,
doing well in my classes again.

**This is time for resolution,
this is the time for new.
I'm focusing on me this year,
this is a year without you.
2.6k · Aug 2010
You Dumped Me, Remember?
Jolene Perron Aug 2010
It's feelings that are mixed,
emotions that are new.
Thinking back on memories,
of my time with you.

I said I'm over you,
but you words are still so sharp.
Sparking up those tears,
cutting through my heart.

You meant the world to me,
and that will never change.
But you called me a *****,
who are you to say?

You broke up with me,
two months ago, remember?
You wanted to be friends,
you started this cold weather.

You told me you were in love,
with my best friend.
What did you want me to say?
go ahead, dive in?

It's not me, my dear,
who's keeping you apart.
It's that fact she's swept up,
someone else has her heart.

And she's a better friend,
than we all seem to know.
She knows what would happen,
how insane I would go.

But I'm not keeping you apart,
so stop blaming me.
Tell me the real reason,
for what seems like jelousy.

I'm single now,
so I can do as I please.
It's not like I'm having ***,
or dropping on my knees.

I kissed another guy,
big deal, why should you care?
You dumped me, remember?
you haven't been there.

So you call me a *****,
grow up would you please?
Telling me I spread my legs,
for every guy I meet.

Sorry, last time I checked,
we kissed and that was it.
Stop trying to control me,
to cause a bunch of ****.

If you don't want me kissing,
other guys, well baby.
You shouldn't have left me for dead,
shouldn't have been so shady.

You made me feel so down,
so low upon myself.
Made my want to grab a knife,
end all that I've felt.

But honey, you're not worth it,
not worth that kind of fame.
And I have more pride than that,
I am not ashamed.

Of who I am, sweetie,
so your judegement you can pass.
But guess what, honey?
You can kiss my ***.

So stop calling me a *****,
because I kissed another guy.
You dumped me, remember?
you left me to cry.
1.8k · Oct 2010
You Made Me Stronger
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
After all the tears,
the painful heartaches.
The reluctancies,
and the stress we've made.

After all we've been through,
mostly all the bad.
I'm thankfull for all of this,
all the fun we had.

And when I look back,
and I remember even the fights.
The times we said goodbye,
the tears I cried at night.

I'm thankfull for it all,
because it helped me so much.
To be stronger on my own,
to kick away that crutch.

To stand alone myself,
and be proud of who I am.
Alone with someone,
to always help me stand.

My biggest fear has been,
to always stand alone.
But I'm not so afraid now,
to be on my very own.

After all we've been through,
and will go through later I'm sure.
You have been my heartache,
but have also been my cure.

You've helped me be stronger,
and it took me till now to know.
That I'm thankfull for us,
even if I don't show.

So here's my chance to say,
I'm thankfull for you in my life.
When we're all smiling,
and even through the strife.

Thank you for who you are,
and everything you do.
Most importantly though,
thanks for being you.
This week we were talking about what we were thankful for at The House Of Shalom. I was thinking in my mind, I'm thankful for him. Even if we fight, even if we're mad at eachother, he helped bring out the best in me. He helped bring out the fighter and the believer and the one who can stand on her own. I'm thankful to have had him in my life, even if he was just one of those people who walked in to teach me a lesson and just had to walk out again. He was there for a reason, and I've come to realize that reason. I just wanted to express that to everyone. <3 Happy Thanksgiving (however you spell it)
1.6k · Jan 2011
Two-Faced Player
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
See that girl over there,
in the corner of the room.
She acts like she knows,
everything about you.

She talks behind our backs,
but she never confronts us.
Acting all that,
for her, it is a must,

But you've never told her much,
to do with your life.
And the words she says about you,
are only out of strife.

And when she speaks to you,
she says her words with a smile.
When we both know,
she's nothing but a liar.

Her face, it's doubled,
one in front and behind.
A face she puts on,
and one she tries to hide.

Because to all of them,
it's someone certain she has to be.
She's not truthful like us,
nothing like you or me.

But she'll go on with words,
the stories she's saying.
To her, it's nothing,
just a life with which she's playing.
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
When she talks about it,
it makes it real.
Her vulnerability,
is their's to steal.

It's what she fears,
forever and always.
So she speaks not a word,
she shies away.

In large group,
she feels their eyes.
Fixating on her,
calling on her lies.

They know that she,
is holding something back.
But she hasn't told them,
yet what it is she lacks.

She's scared, she's afraid,
what will they think.
As they stare at her,
she feels herself shrink.

The memories so tough,
she wanted to forget.
This isn't what she signed on for,
this isn't what she meant.

But once she starts,
she just can't stop.
She hands start to shake,
her cheeks get hott.

When she finishes her story,
she looks up with tears.
They put their arms around her,
comforting her fears.

They accept her for her,
past present and all.
Holding her up high,
comforting her when she falls.

These people are members,
of the House of Shalom.
With open hearts and arms,
this place is home.
1.5k · Jan 2011
Head over Heels
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
Hey there, morning glory,
in this brand new light.
My mind is going in thirty directions,
I'm thinking fight or flight.

Your touch is like fire,
your kisses burn my lips.
My tummy's turning like never before,
your hands upon my hips.

You moved in quick at first,
I was almost caught off guard.
Even after knowning you,
for three years, I was alarmed.

But it's never felt so right,
and not quite so intense.
You broke down my brick wall,
put a hole in my fence.

And now you have me singing,
my, oh my, oh my.
You've shown me compassion,
and trust so hard to find.

You're the only person around,
who's never left my side.
Who could know not a thing going on,
but be there immediately to confide.

You've held me close before,
told me reassuring words.
You always know just what to say,
to take away my hurt.

And now here we are,
our friendship's taken a turn.
Would you have thought three years ago,
it would be for my heart you's yearn?

When we sat reading to eachother,
our stories and poetry after school.
That now you would be holding me,
could I have been that much of a fool.

Not to see the way you look,
that compassion in your eyes.
I'm seeing you differently now,
after all of my goodbyes.

I'm hoping that just maybe,
this is true, for real.
Because, darling, I've fallen for you,
and I'm going head over heels.
1.4k · Sep 2010
Trusting That Feeling Again
Jolene Perron Sep 2010
That simple smile,
the way your eyes shine.
Has me going crazy,
however are you mine?

The distance between us,
gets harder with the days.
But, honey, let me tell you,
it scares me to feel this way.

Every time this happens,
I get crushed again.
My fault, his fault,
doesn't matter who's sin.

But it always seems to happen,
that things roll down hill.
And I'm left weeping,
sitting on a window sill.

Once you've been cut,
it gets harder to get  into it again.
To let someone like you,
become more than a friend.

But this all comes with trust,
and the love I find in you.
Something so pure,
something so true.

This happiness I feel,
whenever you're around.
When you send me a message,
to flip my frown upsidedown.

That feeling I get,
when you finally come around.
You pick me up and kiss my lips,
I'm a hundred feet off the ground.

I'm walking on air with you,
and falling deeper each day.
But, honey, it scares me,
to feel this way.

I'm walking with caution,
but trusting more as the days go by.
That you'll wash away my tears,
and never make me cry.
1.2k · Sep 2010
The Triangle
Jolene Perron Sep 2010
Through the relationships,
that we've all been through.
Somethings very different,
this time here with you.

Every Relationship is like,
a triangle in support.
Both sides lean in equally,
it's strong in many sorts.

The triangle can be the greatest,
strongest shape of all.
Until one side leans much more,
then it begins to fall.

When both sides lean,
on eachother both the same.
It becomes more than scalene,
and both sides get some gain.

The triangle is equal,
the relationship is right.
It can make it through struggles,
every day and night.

There's something different now,
for we both lean on eachother.
But we lead our own lies,
apart from one another.

Our relationship is stable,
an equalateral triangle if you will.
It took a lot of time,
it took a lot of skill.

We learn from experience,
how to make it stable.
In time it gets easier,
and we are more able.

To lean on the other right,
to take turns in the sorrow.
It can't be fixed immedeately,
maybe not tomorrow.

But all good things take time,
and time comforts all.
It meakes things stronger,
and catches when we fall.
Jolene Perron Sep 2010
I'm imaingining your fingers,
as they tightly grasp.
For the first time,
I wished it would last.

I was dreaming of first steps,
the words you would first say.
Your smile and eyes,
that would help me through the day.

I thought of your cry,
what it may sound like.
But your smile and laugh,
would make it alright.

I didn't even care,
boy or girl, didn't matter to me.
As long as you were here,
and you came along healthy.

But the blood came fast,
when it really shouldn't have.
I rushed to the doctor,
with that test on my lap.

"Doctor, look, it's positive,
was it just a mistake?
Is there something I can do?
or is it just too late?

"Tell me, my baby,
that it's alright.
That'll I hear that cry,
that it'll make it through the night"

"I'm sorry ma'am to tell you,
this baby is no more.
You miscarried your child,
and  there's nothing you can do for.

"This child to make it through,
I'm sorry, it's far too late.
This wasn't meant to be,
this was truely fate."

Now I sit here on my bed,
with the test in hand.
I was going to tell you,
I knew, I said, I can.

But there's not point now,
I sit here silently broken.
At what could have been,
my baby took my lost token.
1.0k · Oct 2010
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
The touching and feeling,
how they made eachother feel.
Before that everything,
it seemed so unreal.

They say this thing,
it changes everything.
She didn't beleive that till,
he and her had their fling.

The first time they were together,
sparks flew and hit the sky.
But after time when on,
aftre they said goodbye.

Their talks grew and grew,
but slowly began to deminish.
And the next they were together,
they resolved what was unfinished.

She felt there's something missing,
the connection between is lost.
She's waiting to hold something,
that is too far gone.

When people never stay,
and they always have to leave.
It gets harder to bear,
harder to believe.

The connection between you,
is growing farther away.
They're leading seperate lives,
and there is no other way.

The tie that they once had,
how could it be saved?
She's busy with her life,
she doesn't stop each day.

She's lost in her emotions,
she doesn't know what to do.
What would you do,
if this girl was you?
1.0k · Jan 2011
Pathetic Loser
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
Using others around you,
for your own sick needs.
You have them begging,
upon their knees.

Until they realize,
who you really are.
But no one believes,
and you've left them scarred.

You're nothing but pathetic,
and you'll get yours I'm sure.
You're nothing but a loser,
who torments innocent girls.

Who makes them fall hard,
and you get scared and flee.
And yourself look awesome,
smelling like roses while she.

She's left pining for you,
to come back to her.
You claim you care,
then go back on your word.

You spread lies and rumours,
and people believe.
The lie you're spinning,
the ways you deceive.

You get a girl to fight your war,
when you're a perfectly capable man.
And then you scurry off,
to hold the new girls hand.

You're a loser, you're pathetic,
and you'll get yours some day.
You're get hurt and then you'll see,
what you do every day.
922 · Sep 2010
Save Me, Save Me.
Jolene Perron Sep 2010
The blood the blade,
the urge coming through.
Save me, save me,
with long talks with you.

The fountain, the picture,
sinical and wrong.
Save me, save me,
show me somewhere I belong.

The picture, the twist,
and anger is released.
*Save me, save me,
won't you stop me please.

Too late, it's over,
done with it now.
Save me, save me,
some way some how.

The blood is running,
down my finger tips.
Save me, save me,
seal up all these rips.

All for the loss,
of my one friend friend.
Save me, save me,
make this sorrow end.
840 · Oct 2010
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
My head is in the clouds,
I'm dreaming here again.
You're everything I want,
you are my best friend.

Your eyes so bright with colour,
well they catch me everyday.
My heart twists with passion,
I can't find words to say.

You walk with confidence,
and you hold your head up proud.
Sometimes I still can't believe,
what an amazing person I've found.

Your voice so deep,
alluring and captivating.
Your hugs so warm and tight,
sometimes they have me shaking.

My dreams fly high at night,
the dream we'll be together.
Some day you'll hold me different,
and maybe you'll say forever.

You make my dreams fly always,
and every day to day.
But I can only wish for words,
and hope one day you will say.

Forever and always you'll be,
with me in a different stance.
Maybe one day you'll see,
maybe I'll have my chance.
838 · Jan 2011
Drawing The Line
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
You talk of her,
that girl you're with.
My feelings for you,
I've tried to dismiss.

All this time,
you know how I've felt.
But for me I put,
my feelings on a shelf.

You tell me of her,
your arguments and fights.
As I look out the window,
into the night.

"What's the point,
of being together.
When you can't fix the storm,
you've tried to weather?"

You tell me you don't know,
that you're really unsure.
You both know it's over,
you being with her.

But no one has the guts,
to just pull the plug.
And you don't want,
to be the one.

"Grow some *****,
won't you please?"
In my mind,
I'm begging on my knees.

"Fine I will!", you say,
as you lean in towards me.
I can feel my heart flutter,
then sink down to my feet.

A silence falls,
between me and you.
I'm at lost for words,
or what to do.

"Listen," I say,
as I look toward your eyes.
"I can't be with someone,
within a million lies...

"I can't be with someone,
who can't be with my fully.
Until you break up with her,
this is how it is, hunny."

I look out the window,
as I begin to cry.
I don't know if you realize,
how much I wish you were mine.
Jolene Perron Jul 2011
Tired of being here,
of always asking why.
Of thinking of quitting,
of saying to all "goodbye!"

Tired of being sleepy,
of wanting to take a nap.
Of life being hecktick,
and being so out of whack.

Tired of pleasing everyone,
except just me.
Of not having time,
to just be sixteen.

Tired of counting days,
until my life changes.
Two weeks 'till seventeen,
and I'm turning pages.

Tired of writing my story,
but running out of ink.
Of pages being left,
one, two, three - Blank.

Tired of life,
of being always let down.
Of not being me,
and being, who, a clown?

Tired ... just a word,
with so many things it fits.
Tired, my dear,
doesn't begin to describe it ...
Sometimes life just gets you down. Maybe it's growing up, maybe it's the loss of sleep, maybe it's a boss you have ... whatever it is, life gets us all down and we use the word "tired" a lot, even when it doesn't particuarly mean "sleepy". Just, Tired.
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
I'm not afraid to stand up this far,
I'm scared to fall and be forever scarred.
I'm not afraid to walk now alone,
But to be forever on my very own.  

I'm not afraid to sing aloud,
I'm scared I'll be told shut up right now.
I'm not afraid to let trust in,
I'm scared it'll be broken and proven wrong again.  

I'm not afraid of death to come,
I'm scared I won't accomplish what I want to get done.
I'm not afraid to love and let my heart soar,
I'm scared he won't want to and I'll be left unsure.  

I'm not afraid to love I'm scared to be broken,
To let love in is an invitation for the heart to slowly blacken.
I'm not afraid to love or to let him in,
Because I trust his heart and that's a good place to begin.
Today, October 26 2010, I recieved a letter in the mail from Creative Communications telling me that I was one of the many people who entered their poetry contest to win. I get to be published in one of their seasonal Anthologies. Some of you may notice this poem is taken from a previous one, it's just modified and shortened. This is because thier contest entries are only allowed to be 21 lines. Just thought I'd give you a background on the poem :)
798 · Sep 2010
Jolene Perron Sep 2010
                                                            ­          Kisses
   ­      Looks
                                                           ­                    Wants
  ­                     Love
                                                            ­                                     Needs
                                                           ­       Loss
                            ­                                                             Belief
                                                          ­  Fear

                                                          ­                                            *I Miss You ...
797 · Aug 2010
Working On It
Jolene Perron Aug 2010
I'm not gonna lie,
I'm tired of it all.
This hurt and life,
the goodbyes to all.

But what you don't see,
is who I am.
What I try to do,
for a twisted man.

I know I've made,
a few wrong turns.
Said some wrong thungs,
and caused some hurt.

But you act like,
I'm only blaming you.
Well here's a newsflash,
I'm at fault too.

I know this,
I am not ashamed.
I can take the hurt,
and part of the blame.

But it's not all me,
for you've caused hurt too.
Don't blame it all,
on what I do.

I'm truely sorry,
for what I said.
I was hurt and confused,
it was not meant.

But the words you used,
the names you called.
Naming me fat,
saying it's my fault.

Those crucial words,
you call me all the time.
But when I finally say them back,
the fault is all mine.

I'm ready to say I'm sorry,
that what I said was wrong.
But you need to accept,
some of the fault.

You claim you tried to help,
but where the hell were you?
When I needed a shoulder,
someone to talk to.

When my neighbours keyed our truck,
spray painted the plates.
When I was down on my knees,
knocking on heaven's gates.

Crying out to the heavens,
just give me one last chance.
I'm trying to mend,
all the broken hands.

I gave to you my heart,
about a year ago.
I promised forever,
I never let you go.

But I'm ready to move on,
and I'm ready to let go.
Our friendship, though, honey,
is what means the most.

The knife I carried long,
that was stuck into my back.
It's sitting on a shelf,
holding all of what I lacked.

I'm picking myself up,
up from off of the ground.
All by myself,
what I lost is now found.

You've been there for me,
well over a year.
You've held me very close,
you've wiped away my tears.

So this, I ask you, friend,
would you maybe just consider.
Walking down with me,
so we can both be winners.

To talk down by the water,
of all was said and done.
So this battle can be burried,
for both us it's won.

Because I'll never go away,
so long as I'm alive.
We live in the same town,
same friends help us survive.

What good will it ever do,
to keep this battle at war?
It won't be right, right away,
but it has to start somewhere.

We're not only hurting each other,
but everyone around.
I've picked myself up mostly,
but I'm still half on the ground.

Somet things need to start,
to fall back into place.
I'm washing off the makeup,
creating a new face.

I ask you to be there,
I apologize how long.
It took for me to come back,
when I was so far gone.

The house of cards we built,
it may have fallen down.
But it's time for a new chapter,
let's blow away this town.

This time we start over,
and we can be just friends.
There's a lot still in our futures,
but I refuse to give in.

We fight, that's what we do,
we're honest with eachother.
But when it comes down to it,
we're best friends forever.

I tell you when you're being,
a aggorgant *******.
You tell me when I'm being,
a pain in your ***, which.

Is quite often, I know,
but one thing to remember.
We're forever in this life,
almost always together.

For ourselves and everyone else,
it would just be better.
To resolve this mess,
work on friends forever.

Forever will always have,
a special place in my heart.
May we'll just be friends,
or very far apart.

You're the guy I want there,
a bestie at my side.
Something we can work on,
and always keep in mind.

When life gets really rough,
I want to know something good.
Is coming in the distance,
working like it should.

So please let's just try,
to work things out together.
Let's work on being now,
best friends forever.
I wrote this poem for someone who I'm arguing with. This quote from the Notebook describes us to a 'T'. And it's where part of my inspiration for the poem came from: "Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant ******* and I tell you when you are a pain in the ***. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-*** thing. So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day." I'm not saying I want a relationship, All I'm working towards, is a friendship. It won't be easy, and it won't be right away. But as time goes on, if we give it a chance at all, it WILL it get better, and it WILL get easier. We just have to trust it.
Jolene Perron Sep 2010
I walked away today,
so I would say the words.
That came to my mind,
because I knew that they would hurt.

I was told to stop,
to just let him go.
I'm with someone new now,
but just so you know.

I can be with someone,
who loves me very much.
But it doesn't make it stop,
can't you hear my heart crunch?

The man I'm with is wonderful,
in every single way.
He understands my feelings,
even if I say.

I still miss him,
and everything we were.
I still love him,
even if he's with her.

Even if I'm with that someone new,
that doesn't make it go away.
I left the game,
because there was so much to say.

If you actually want to hear,
trust me I won't hold back.
But I'm being accused of lieing,
and there's confidence I lack.

Can you please just try,
to sit down and listen to this.
To let me tell you all the reasons,
it's him I really miss.

He's with her, I get it,
but that doens't make it go away.
Can't tell you how many times,
I've wanted things to change.

But I still miss him,
and I can't tell my heart what to do.
Especially since there is,
that one underlying issue.

The one that will tie,
me to him forever.
When I'm with someone else,
and he is with her.

It makes my heart tremble,
every part of me ache.
I know I did things bad,
I know I've made mistakes.

But today I walked off,
I just walked away.
So I wouldn't regret saying,
everything I wanted to say...
776 · Jul 2010
Thunder and Lightening
Jolene Perron Jul 2010
Lighting crashes,
on the cold concreate.
Eluminating the sky,
screaming at me 'defeat'.

The rain pours down,
flooding the streets.
Drag me to the road,
kiss me soft on the cheek.

The thunder sounds,
hard and loud.
It scars me lots,
those stupid black clouds.

But your touch is warm,
against my wet shirt.
And your kiss is firm,
making my lips hurt.

You pull back slow,
look into my eyes.
I look up at you,
completely mesmorized.

Your touch is firm,
your eyes bright green.
As lightening eluminates,
the cold deserted street.
768 · Oct 2010
And Then...
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
They're not quite there,
not there yet.
They're on their way there,
that point where they can't turn back.
The moment he looked into her eyes,
with that crooked little smile.
That moment their hearts sparked,
he made her heart race.
His touch on hers was like fire,
and he made her word light up.
The sparkle in his eyes,
baby, she hasn't seen that in a while.
The butterflies and knots,
they raced around her stomach and chest.
Her head was spinning with disbelief,
She laid back with her head on his pillows.

And then he kissed her.
And then thier lips met.
And then the fire sparked.
And she just can't go back.
And then he kissed her.
Ans then she got scared.
And now she's afraid,
And now she's scared.
She's scared of losing him.
She's scared of losing Them.

And then he told her it's okay,
and now she waits for another moment like that....
Inspiration taken from Glitter in the Air by Pink :)
766 · Dec 2010
Where I Belong
Jolene Perron Dec 2010
I don't belong,
I don't believe,
I don't feel ...

This is how I was,
this is what it was like.
before my thoughts,
before I felt.
I didn't belong,
I felt outcasted.
If you can't take me,
for who I am,
then why,
just please tell me why,
should I put myself there,
in a place,
where I don't belong anymore ?

I've found better things,
a place I can be,
and never feel misplaced.
I've found better people,
who accept me for me.
So tell me now,
why in the world,
would I go back to a place,
where I just don't belong anymore ?

People change, feelings fade,
nothing stays the same.
I still consider you,
every one of you,
a friend.
Someone who's changed my life,
but I don't belong here,
so I'm going somewhere,
with someone,
where I belong.
753 · Nov 2010
Mother Nature and Me
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
The clouds, the sky,
the blue within.
My heart, my eyes,
looking for a friend.

The sun, the rays,
the warmth that lies beneath.
Her words, her thoughts,
have me talking through my teeth.

The grass, the grenery,
it's dieing this time of year.
My heart, my eyes,
have been nothing but sheding tears.

The water, the lake,
so calming in it's presence.
I'm asking, I'm begging,
for respect and nothing less.

The thunder, the lightening,
the calm before the storm.
It flashes, deep inside,
my heart which is torn.

The rain, the hail,
it pours over the ground.
I'm shaking, I'm breaking,
and there's no one around ...
752 · Oct 2010
I'm No Angel, Honey.
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
I ask you to go away,
you text me again.
You tell me all you want,
is to be my friend.

Does a true friend,
hack someone's Twitter?
Do they mess around,
trying to upset her?

Does a true friend try,
to ruin the other's day?
Twisting everything,
and every word they say?

Does a true friend ridicule,
about the other's job?
When they themselves,
can't do much better?

All this happens,
all in one day.
I'm left astounded,
but the words you say.

I've done my fair share,
I do admit.
But for a while now,
I've remained quiet.

You play the good guy,
but look at what you do.
Honey, I'm no angel,
but neither are  you.
740 · Jul 2010
Not Afraid
Jolene Perron Jul 2010
I'm not afraid,
to stand up this far.
I'm scared to fall,
and be forever scarred.

I'm not afraid,
to walk alone.
But to be forever,
on my very own.

I'm not afraid,
to be in dark,
I'm scared of what,
may lurk in that dark.

I'm not afraid,
to sing aloud.
I'm scared I'll be told,
shut up right now.

I'm not afraid,
to show my poetry.
I'm scared I'll be told,
writing's not for me.

I'm not afraid,
to let trust in.
I'm scared it'll be broken,
and proven wrong again.

I'm not afraid,
of death to come.
I'm scared I won't accomplish.
what I want to get done.

I'm not afraid to love,
and let my heart soar.
I'm scared he won't want to,
and I'll be left unsure.

I'm not afraid to love,
I'm scared to be broken.
To let love in is an invitation,
for the heart to slowly blacken.

I'm not afraid to love,
or to let him in.
Because I trust his heart,
and that's a good place to begin.

I trust he'll hold me high,
but he won't let me fall.
And he'll be by my side,
each time I call.

I trust he'll stand by me,
when I'm in the darkness.
To fight off all evil,
and help clean my mess.

I trust he'll listen,
if I ask him to.
To my singing or poetry,
and whatever else I do.

I trust he'll love me,
unconditionally forever.
And I can put my fears to rest,
and let him mend the weather...
721 · Oct 2010
Is That Really Necessary?
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
You taunting, your laughter,
they all join in.
They smile, they sing,
the rejoice in your hymn.

They praise, they laugh,
they think it's alright.
But do they all know,
that little girl cries at night?

Your laughter, your words,
she thought you were her friends.
She's seeing your snickers,
she feels like the end.

It's stupid, it's pointless,
for you to poke fun.
At someone, unlike you,
she is the innocent one.

It's time to stop, to settle down,
her eyes are weak and weary.
Now honey, ask yourself,
is this really necessary?

For her to feel unwelcome,
as if her best friend betrayed.
This feeling goes on,
it lasts for days.

But we can stop it,
if we only listen close.
To a heart that beats,
and what matters most.
721 · Nov 2010
Screaming ...
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
Words ...
                             Speak ...

I just want to Scream

Listen ...
                        Understand ...
                                       Silence ...

Would you ever Hear me?

Unaudiable ...
                    Reaching ...
                                    Silence ...

*But She Wants To Scream ...
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
The light of morning,
moving slowly across your face,
The blue in the sky matching your eyes,
your arms wrapped around me.
I lay next to you,
breathing in everything you are,
Falling into you deeper, deeper,
everything right, everything makes sense.
This moment all I've waited for,
years I've only dreamed,
And here, I swear, I'm dreaming,
holding you, holding me.
Your smile wide across your face,
you're warming my heart,
The butterflies spin and spiral,
and I'm falling.
I can't stop smiling now,
you've got me in the air,
And when your lips touch mine,
my heart beats out of my chest.
Everything is right,
everything makes sense,
I'm falling for you,
catch me if you can ...
713 · Oct 2010
In Memory Of Lucy <3
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
The pitter patter on the floor,
the warm welcome as you walk in.
This is your comfort,
this is man's best friend.

They bark at the door,
when any stranger comes near.
Letting you know,
"Master, someone's here!"

They listen to you cry,
when it seems no one else will.
They make you laugh,
and always give you a thrill.

A dog, a pet, but more than that,
it's a family memeber.
And when they're taken away,
they remain in your heart forever.
This was written in memory of a beloved dog named Lucy. We all grew up with her, and she was more than just our best friend's pet. She was a member of their family. Lucy Lou, you will be missed <3 RIP
705 · Jul 2010
Help Me.
Jolene Perron Jul 2010
The gun's in my hand,
the thoughts in my head.
The feelings are gone,
the words have been said.
The end if near,
there is no hope.
A head filled with friends,
friends can't help me cope.
My finger's on the trigger,
I'm about to let go.
no hope from what I figure,
no hope so let me go.

Lately it doesn't feel right,
lately it doesn't make sense.
I've tried my hardest to fight,
I've tried to break down this fence.
Nothing's been helping,
nothing's been right.
I'm tired of fighting,
I'll never be alright.

Help me take my finger off the trigger...
Bring hope to what I can't figure.
703 · Sep 2010
September 11 Last Year
Jolene Perron Sep 2010
It was almost a year,
September 11 2009.
At this time last year,
honey you were mine.

My mind's going back,
thinking thoughts of then.
The talks we had,
things we used to do when.

We were together,
but this time this year.
You're with her,
and I'm alone here.

Insignificantly enough,
we both have significant others.
We've both fallen again,
we both have separate lovers.

But I miss my bestie,
my one true friend.
The one who said,
he'd be there till the end.

I miss just talking,
with you about it all.
I miss having you catch me,
every time I'd fall.

This time last year,
it was all that could have been.
September 11 2009,
but now it's 2010.

So much has changed,
us, me and you.
Nothing more is said,
nothing more to do.

Just to reminise,
to remember it all.
Silently crying,
here I am, I fall ...
703 · Sep 2010
This Fence, That Secret.
Jolene Perron Sep 2010
The face in the mirror,
getting old and faded.
The feelings in my heart,
becoming jaded.

It took all I had,
a place in my heart.
I wish I could tell you,
but it would tear us more apart.

It would ruin everything,
destroy you deep within.
Like it destroys me,
time and time again.

I sit here in silence,
with my mouth scratched out.
Looking up to the sky,
as I try to shout.

But nothing will help,
because it doesn't make sense.
So I leave it be,
while I build this fence ...
691 · Aug 2010
I Need An Angel
Jolene Perron Aug 2010
I feel like everything I do means nothing,
like what I say doesn't affect anyone.
I feel like walking away from it all,
but I just don't want to give up.

He used to make my heart fly and feelings soar,
but now he only makes me cry.
I don't want to give up on all we had,
I know we can be so much more.

She was my very best friend,
someone who I could always confide in.
Now she won't even talk to me,
and I can't figure out why...

I'm trying to make myself happy this time,
but everyone else gets mad.
It's like what I want doesn't even matter,
and what I need isn't relevant.

I've spent my life trying to make everyone else happy,
and for once I'm trying to do stuff for me.
But everyone else is throwing fits,
and everyone is ****** at me.

I can't make you all happy,
I can't make my life make sense.
I'm lost and confused and I'm sitting here crying,
I'm waiting for someone to come and climb over this wall.

Doesn't anyone see the signs?
don't you all see me, sitting here, crying, alone.
Why don't you try to help me along,
what is so wrong with me that I can't do it on my own.

I can't make my life make sense anymore,
and I'm reaching for the blade.
As long as I was clean before,
that changed and I can't make it stop.

I'm struggling and I'm fighting and I'm crying out,
but no one around seems to hear.
Please someone just make some sense out of life,
please send me some kind of guidence....

**I need an Angel
686 · Feb 2011
Pictures and Memories
Jolene Perron Feb 2011
Going through pictures,
the moments, the laughs.
Going through memories,
when I sat on your lap.

I captured a moment,
who we were back then.
Wasn't long ago,
but I remember when.

The exact moment in time,
when my finger hit the button.
Who we were then,
it seems to be forgotten.

I'm tired of moving on,
I just want to stay still.
Be me, as I am, forever,
I'm wishing with all my will.

I don't wanna grow up,
don't wanna lose this.
Who we all used to be,
it's something I truely miss.

Back then, back when,
we were loving and laughing.
University was far away,
life seemed like a simple thing.

But now, I'm struggling,
school, social life, work and sleep.
Seems we can only ever have,
one, two, maybe three.

And as we grow up , get older,
things are constantly at change.
People grow up,
and sometimes feelings fade.

I hate change,
and I only wish it would stop.
But it doesn't matter,
what I wish, what I want.

Because life is going to keep moving,
and I just have to hold on.
Look at this picture and memory,
and accept that it's gone.
678 · Jan 2011
I Pomise, I'm a Fighter
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
This is something moral,
something I believe.
I promise, I won't stop,
fighting 'till I acheieve.

You may call me,
some kind of drama queen.
But there's more to it,
you're not listening to me.

I have a reason behind,
there's truth in all I say.
I'm fighting for a good reason,
in each and every way.

The truth, the lies, the story,
everything I know.
Fighting for beliefs,
or for someone not to go.

For something maybe anything,
but I promise I won't quit.
And I won't put up with this,
none of your ****.

Because what I believe is true,
are my morals and they're mine.
I'll make them heard, I promise,
I'm a fighter, you're out of line.
678 · Oct 2010
The Rose
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
The rose is dying,
winding around and wilted.
The rose is falling, falling,
from it's perch so high on the terrace.
The rose is getting colder,
freezing and wilting and dying.
The rose is left alone,
for no one else to find.
The rose is changing colors now,
it's darker, darker.
It's shriveling up, this rose it is,
it's getting smaller, smaller.

*The Rose Is Dying...
Can We Save It?
665 · Jul 2010
When The Curtains Close
Jolene Perron Jul 2010
At the end of the day,
I hope you know.
You're the one I want there,
when the curtains close.

When the makeup is gone,
my true self to see.
You're the one I want there,
to see the real me.

When I am not acting,
in this childish world.
When I am only me,
a beautifully tragedic girl.

It's never so easy,
it's always so hard.
Everyone always complaining,
they were dealt this card.

I do it always,
and I put on a face too.
But I'm always the real me,
whenever I'm with you.

With them it's a face,
makeup and a smile.
In reality my grin,
hasn't been real in a while.

But you make me smile,
my world is bright.
Everything comes so easy,
it feels so right.

Since you walked in,
my life is perfect.
I feel like the real me,
doing everything I was meant.

They see this change,
in the way I act.
But it's only the real me,
that I've so long lacked.

They don't understand,
what I was before was concealed.
Baby this is me,
this is me and very real.

You understand everything,
you understand me.
It's with you,
I wish to forever be.

I promise forever,
I will always love you.
When I am in your arms,
my world is brightened too.

So at the end of the day,
By now you should know.
You're the one I want there,
when the curtains close...
664 · Oct 2010
Jolene Perron Oct 2010
Your touch,
sends chills,
racing through,
my entire body.

Your smile,
sends jolts,
of electricity,
through my heart.

The words you say,
make my heart skip,
the way you talk,
makes my head summersault.

The worse part,
of this whole thing,
is I can't tell you,
and you don't even know...
Jolene Perron Aug 2010
She sits and waits,
her prince to come save.
She's alone with tears,
no one came today.

No one sees,
what she's hiding beneath.
A fake smile,
falling where you can not reach.

She wants him to remember,
she wants him to try.
To be her prince charming,
so she will never cry.

But she's lonely again,
waiting by the lake.
She gets up now,
with a smile that is fake.

It's like all they ever want,
is someone to ***** around with.
But she's yearning for more,
someone to be with.

Sorry's never enough,
she never measures up.
To what they want,
it's never good enough.

She thought she saw something,
deep within his eyes.
But not today.
no, not this time.

So she sits and waits,
maybe he'll remember.
She silently cries to herself,
doesn't he recall "yours forever"?
661 · Jul 2011
Only Sixteen
Jolene Perron Jul 2011
I’m looking in a mirror,
and this face I see,
Tall with dark features,
at the age of sixteen.

At the age of sixteen,
I have seen the world.
The people, the faces,
the boys and girls.

At the age of sixteen,
I haven’t been far from home.
But I’ve made some friends,
and I’m not alone.

At the age of sixteen,
I’m aware what’s right.
What’s wrong in this world,
the hate and the strife.

But at the age of sixteen,
what confuses me still.
Is how you have children,
on your own free will.

But don’t care for them,
and spread your charade to we.
But I see behind the curtains,
And I’m only sixteen.

I’m only sixteen,
and I see what you do.
I’m behind the acts,
I’m standing beside you.

I’m screaming in your ears,
“Oh, don’t you see?!
The mess you’ve made?”
And I’m only sixteen.

I’m only sixteen,
I manage a life.
I have two jobs,
I am not a wife.

But I am sixteen,
and for a while back there.
I saw your kids more,
and gave them more care.

I am only sixteen,
I will be seventeen soon.
But I’m not stupid,
and I see what you do.
Jolene Perron Jul 2010
Like Romeo and Juliet,
minus to suicide.
But we won't sneak around,
'cause we got nothin to hide.

Go ahead,
and take him away.
But where there's a will,
there's always a way.

I won't simmer down,
I won't stay calm.
Give me a reason,
I shouldn't drop an F bomb.

I've lost my friend,
of 10 long years.
Losing my mim,
fighting back tears.

Now you're taking,
my best friend too?
How would you feel,
if this was you.

Fighting for the right,
boy and girl friends.
Don't wanna give up,
there's never an end.

Standing up for what's real,
losing everything that matters.
Can't stop crying,
over my heart which is tattered.

Do you see what you do?
see what you've done.
In taking my best friend,
punishing for fun.

This is not alright,
never okay.
Not tomorrow,
not even today.

But go ahead,
and have you fun.
But it's not okay,
not even close ***.

I'll fight till the end,
who knows the outcome?
But I won't let this slip,
not after all we've done.

The late night calls,
crying on the phone.
Sitting on my bench,
never on my own.

He comforted me,
I was there for him.
But you think you can come,
you think you can win.

I won't give in,
won't let way.
Not tomorrow,
not even today.

This isn't fair,
this is life at it's worst.
I feel it's my fault,
this stupid angry curse.

Just when I get comfortable,
and I let down my guard.
Something comes along,
smooshing all my rewards.

I lose everything,
everything that's close.
I can't lose another,
not even a little ghost.

Now I softly cry,
and you will softly weep.
With nothing to hide,
no secrets to keep...
660 · Jan 2011
Why Can't You See This?
Jolene Perron Jan 2011
You know that girl,
the one that you're with.
You've given her chances,
more than she even deserves.
And yett, still, you're with her,
when you have someone else.
Someone who's standing infront of you,
staring you in the eyes.
Someone who wants everything,
that you want and more.
Someone who believes in you,
even when everything's wrong.
Who understands when you're upset,
when things go wrong.
And she's always there,
like she has been for years.
she never left your side,
even when you left hers.
When you pulled that disappearing act,
but then suddenly returned.

This girl, the one you're with,
how many chances have you given her?
How many times have you wasted,
chance after chance.
Night after night coaxing her,
apologizing for your 'wrongs'.
Listening to her apologize,
but I know it means nothing.

Everytime I hear you talk about her,
I cringe, my heart speeds up.
I feel my blood coarsing through my veins,
I feel the heat rushing to my cheeks.
This is wrong, don't you see?
you're just not meant to be together.
Why can't you see that ?
why don't you just walk away?

She does nothing but hurt you,
and it kills me.
It kills me to see you hurt like that,
after all these years.
After watching her yell at you,
after hearing her talk about you.
I can't stand it,
I can't help it.

I just want you,
With me tonight,

**Why can't you see that?
653 · Jul 2010
Ever-Changing Life
Jolene Perron Jul 2010
As the sun sinks down.
below the horizon so beautiful.
My heart sinks again,
all you do is take and never fill.

The day has come to an end,
it was wonderful until.
You heard more romours,
and my happiness was killed.

You broke up with me,
said you like another.
What gives you the right,
to rain on my sunny weather?

If you still had feelings,
then you should have stayed.
Made an effort with me,
and never walked away.

You should have been truthful,
instead of sugarcoating with lies.
I would eventually find out,
what is hidden behind you decieving eyes.

You eyes tell a story,
or hurt and heartbreak.
But baby don't you see?
You're making my heart ache.

I love you still,
and I want you back here.
But all you want is friendship,
so I cover my feelings shedding tears.

I never did a thing,
yett you still say I lie.
Tell me to *******,
good night and good bye.

But it isn't fair of you,
to say all that you did.
Act like you really cared,
then walk away again.

Everything with you,
well, it's all mixed up now.
And I can't help but hope,
for it to resolve somehow.

I want to see your face,
and talk to you for real.
Get it all out in the open,
because this is all surreal.

You tell me one thing,
then go back on it again.
I just want to understand you,
you ever-changing man.
Jolene Perron Aug 2010
I thought you'd be the guy,
I'd fall for head over heels.
The time I spent with you,
almost seems unreal.

You made my fly so high,
our friendship getting strong.
When I was with you,
nothing was ever wrong.

You made me laugh and smile,
a great friend to have.
But my heart got involved,
resulting in something bad.

You chose again my friend,
seems to happen all the time.
Just when I was getting ready,
to really make you mine.

But that's all done,
it's over now I guess.
I'm left here crying,
and cleaning up the mess.

Nothing I'm not used to,
I'll try up all these tears.
I'm fed up with this now,
you became all my fears.

So good ridence to you,
say goodbye to how I felt.
Friendship moves forward,
feelings on a back shelf.

I hope you're happy with her,
just know how I felt.
Because when I was with you,
you made my heart melt.
640 · Sep 2010
Shouting The Truth
Jolene Perron Sep 2010
I wonder what to do,
I sit here silently wait.
My head is filled with anger,
my heart is filled with hate.

I'm ridiculed constantly,
told it's not the truth.
How ever would you know?
I am me, you are you.

What reason do I have,
to feed you many lies.
This is all the truth,
a reality that is mine.

I'm tired of trying,
to tell the truth and then.
Being told it's wrong,
called a liar again.

Or telling someone something,
and being promised they won't.
Tell anyone else,
but somehow it gets out?

Let's play truth or dare,
or many just dare now.
Because no one tells the truth,
and we're all alone somehow.

No one can be trusted,
secrets always get out.
I sit here in silence,
but once I tried to shout...
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
I wish you would turn around,
just look and you would see.
You played with my heart,
and left me all alone.

Well until you can tell me,
just what you're thinking.
Until you can stop saying ****,
and see what you're really doing.

Turn around, and treat her right,
no matter who she is.
She's a woman, you're a man,
and you need to learn, hunny.

You can take your friendship,
and shove it up your ***.
Until you can sit down,
and talk it out like a man.

If you have a problem,
it's really not all that hard.
Instead of being a wuss,
try telling her.

Women really aren't that difficult,
as long as you're honest.
So until you can be honest with me,
well, I'm sure you get the ******* idea.
Jolene Perron Nov 2010
I think that you would be surprised,
how much I think about you.
If you only knew just what I thought about,
you'd be really amazed how crazy I am about you.
When you hold me in your arms,
my entire world stands still.
My everything is right,
my everything is standing before me.
Big blue eyes staring back at me,
so beautiful and right.
Your touch is gentle and warm,
taking away all my pain.
You know just how to hold me,
just how to soothe me.
I don't understand how I missed,
I didn't know for years.
But now here we are in a moment,
everything stands still.

But her.
That girl.
The one you're with.
What about her?

You don't want to be with her,
and everything seems so complicated.
But I don't know, sweetie,
just how long I can stand.|
To share you, with her,
to have you go between.
I've come to be 'the other woman',
someone I've avoided till now.
And hunny, I wish you knew,
just how I felt about this whole ordeal.

I'm falling,
falling quickly,
falling fast,
but can you catch me,
while you're holding her?
612 · Feb 2011
Never Leave
Jolene Perron Feb 2011
Have I ever mentioned,
that look in your eyes.
Makes me go crazy,
every single time.

You look at me,
you kiss my lips.
Your touch is warm,
upon my hips.

As you hold me close,
fitting like a piece.
Of the puzzle in your heart,
screaming defeat.

You've won me over,
my heart, my soul.
I'm falling, I'm falling,
I'm a spiraling fool.

But that's alright,
and I promise it's okay.
As long as I'm here with you,
yet another day.

As long as the sun shines,
warm on the earth.
As long as when you walk away,
my heart hurts.

So long as these feelings,
they never go away.
So long as you're here,
forever and always.
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