so there's this boy
and he makes me feel

for someone who felt numb for so long
feeling is nice

he makes me feel happy
like how sitting next to a fire, drinking tea, and reading poetry makes me feel

he makes me feel like a beautiful sunflower
he makes me feel like I'm actually worth something
he makes me feel like I'm enough

but with all the beauty he brings to my soul
he also makes my soul fear

fear of him leaving
fear of when he goes he'll leave me to feel numb all over again
I can't let that happened
I'm scared to lose him
I'm scared to let him in

A day seems dark
Night still dark
Yet I smile,
Trying to make a light

I want loneliness,
I want sadness,
It seems it's my happiness,
A melancholic happiness

Everybody making fun,
Someone worries
I worry someone
I pretend to make fun of everybody

I was born to die
I lived to leave
I'm guess I'm ready
Burden won't become steady

It is hard,
It is painful
Not for me,
But for my everybody

I sit here, sometimes lying
Crying in the inner
Not in the outer,
It will be a forever cycle

I hope you know
That i gave up my world
To give you the freedom that you want
So that you can fly

Without me tied around your neck,
Or me weighing you down with all of my luggages
To let you soar in the new airspace

I really, really hope that you do now
Because i really am not
And all in all
You were really all i had

i've given up on you
my heart is broken
and you don't care