He looked at me with hunger,
But not like a wolf to a sheep,
He stared at me in awe,
Because of me he didn't sleep.

I knew he wanted me first,
He was practically a puddle,
When I shook his hand,
All he could do was stutter,

When I was intrigued,
He came a bit too near,
And he nibbled and chewed,
But I didn't have fear,

I let him inside me,
In all the ways he wanted,
I was literally wasted,
From then I was haunted,

He slapped my thighs,
And held on real tight,
He liked that noise,
When I'd squeal just right,

He'd look at my lips,
Just plump and pink,
He'd lean in and bite them,
I couldn't even think,

I couldn't stand him,
I hated him so much,
But I was defenseless,
I was lost in his clutch,

I was leashed and tied,
Lost in his lies,
I was addicted to sin,
He'd opened my eyes,

I loved how he touched me,
He knew what was right,
I hated how he held me,
It was always too tight.

Before I even brushed my teeth,
I stood for a while and stared,
At my half-asleep reflection,
Eyes widened, eyebrows raised,
I scared myself as I cried,
"Love me!"
I yelled at myself,
Then I continued with the morning.

When I stepped into the sun,
I heard the street cat purr,
Loooove meee...
He hissed and stretched.

Neighbor comforted her baby,
It wouldn't cease screaming,
"Love me, mama!"
It squealed with wet cheeks.

Each shadow faced girl,
On this cobblestoned road,
Whispered "love me"
Through glossed red lips.

Old man wilted on a bench,
With cane close by,
Grunted, "love me, love me"
At each faceless passerby.

I reached the library,
Quiet like a monastery,
"Will you love me?"
Titled every book.

Quickly I exit the back,
With my book in hand,
"No you love me!"
Man argues with his lover.

I got on a crowded bus,
And pushed my way through,
"Love me, love me, love me"
We all sang and hummed.

I entered my school,
With teeth white beaming,
L-O-V-E M-E
With each insecure smile.

I finished my loveless day,
And returned to my home,
Love. Me. Love. Me.
Clicked each step.

As I shut my eyes,
Falling fast into sleep,
My lids spelled love me,
Until the morning light.

I remember you telling me of tomorrows,
How bright that they would be,
I remember that feeling in my stomach,
Piercing light shining infinitely.

I remember the visions of joy,
A million fluttering wings,
And promises I clung to,
Seizing pain like bee stings.

I waited for tomorrow,
For just a page to turn,
Standing stuck in time,
And endlessly I'd yearn.

For tomorrow was a dream,
Something I'd never find,
Yesterday was cruel,
Today was just a grind.

In this place I floated,
Between fantasy and fact,
My eyes merely deceived me,
My imagination was in tact,

Oh this purgatory,
Laughed more like a Hell,
Gnashing my teeth it cackled,
For it my soul to sell.

But I remembered your tomorrows!
All guarantees of brilliance,
Soft beats of my heart,
Grew to be resilient.

And Hell had become fearful,
For tomorrow cast it's shadow,
My purgatory was melted,
Shot the bullseye with my arrow.

That glowing that you spoke of,
Ablaze bolts cut through dark,
Hell had seen no fury,
Like tomorrow's eternal spark.

How much is too much until
God finally says
"okay that's it, she's been through enough."

b.r.