rest stop on our way to no where
you're wearing no bra, tshirt with wet hair
i ask "where you wanna go?" you say "i dont care"
pumping gas while you're taking in the fresh air

no looking back on the past
future in our eyes - theres so much to look past
took so long to realize that im her guy
shes my girl - no more lies

if I were to attempt suicide today you wouldn't know what to say you'd sit there looking at me with a sad, disappointed kind of gaze trying not to look away Id tell you I was okay I would lie to make you leave even though all I wanted from the beggening was for someone to stay

I'm no one. my peers have made that clear. they've made me realize I'm **** up castaway. the only fear I have is that one day I will be alone. in an apartment with tinted windows and ***** clothes eating cereal out of the same bowl everyday until I get old. and die alone.

what's wrong is that I'm alone. in a home that's not home. I have money and some friends but no one to call my own. headphones and trains to lonely island. when no everyone's looking but blinded. by their own egos and iPhones. social media and alcohol. when I'm sitting behind my sheets crying. wondering what's real and what's a dream of the vivid fanticies I want to come true. who I want to be "you".

life is always changing
day by day
mistakes being made
as people come and go
you get a sense of who you want to stay
of who you want to wake up to everyday
who you'll smile at and kiss in the morning
when you get back from a long day
at work struggling to pay the bills just to be happy
don't let your life waste with someone who won't say that they love you
even if it's randomly
when you're mad at each other and can't calm down easily
and when things get bad they don't flea
they stick around and make sure you'll be okay

your love is what I crave
your heart is what I'll save
I'll never let you go
I'll kiss you on your face
before you go to bed
before wake up
"baby you're beautiful" I'll whisper
then craze my hand along your cheek

the walls shake
from your fists hitting them
from you throwing things across the living room
while i lay in bed your voice echo's through the hall ways
making its way to my room
and just like when i was little it scares me
your anger and slurred words
when you barge into my room demanding me to do things
or sometimes just sometimes putting the blame on me
at 1am while i'm sleeping
waking me up, waking my brother up
you're mad at the world because of the amount of alcohol you've consumed
remember all the times you've cried and promised all of us you'd quit
that you would become sober for the sake of our family
your sober from the drugs but not the one thing that make the anger come out
not the liquid poison that's ruining your relationship with your children
I hate the person you are when you're drunk
which lately is a lot
which has always been a lot
maybe just maybe one day i would like to come home to you sober laughing and having an honest good time
knowing your truly happy
not just because you've downed 14 beers in the last 3 hours
I'm tired of this fake happiness
I'm tired of feeling like the only reason you're happy is because of the 24 pack of beer you order every night
starting to drink at 2pm saying "its 5pm somewhere"
making a joke out of something that hurts me inside
I'm so tired of it sometimes i want to run away from this ****** house just because i'm sick of hearing you scream about everything
7 days until Christmas
how many days until you're sober?

sacrifice is my only advice
you cant live life on safe choices
you cant make money through unemployment
you cant be smart without education
take a risk
know your losses
know your wins
count your flaws
know your skills and your downfalls
do what makes you happy is the most important thing of all
you cant be happy with a ****** job
your wife, your kids is what its for
they might not be around for a couple years
you have to look into your future like a fortune cookie
predict what will happy like a crystal ball
money doesn't make happiness
but it sure as hell opens the doors

i like being home
laying in bed watching tv, writing poems
doing nothing cause i can
or cause i just wont
but working gives me a sense of accomplishment
the feeling that I'm doing something with my life
that work is where i belong
and for the first time in years
work is where i feel most at home