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 Oct 2015 Jd Ferrarez
Bassam A
I know we r not friends ..
But deep inside somehow I know u ..

Like the wind, I do not hesitate to ask ..
When I see a jewel, that flickers like u ..

Thank u for accepting my friendship ..
As I hope, that one day we will meet ..

And the many stories we will know ..
In our memories, they will be ..

Of joy, laughter, and harmony ..

Jewel .. I know that is u ..
A star in the sky .. Hard to reach ..

But if you were close .. I will ask
Your hand and mine in matrimony ..

Thank u for accepting my invite ..
Hope to be the friend of choice and destiny ..

This was from  your inspiration ..
I think about burning my bridge with heaven a lot
Crave that sweet release
Drip drip
Blood trickling
Down my arm, my leg
God can't help me now
I'm draining
Draining myself of pain,
I don't feel pain anymore
I don't feel anything
It's euphoric really, the sight of blood soothes me

White sheets,
Stained from late nights
Razor's edge,
dragged along, free of fright
Press harder
Go deeper
It doesn't hurt anymore

I thought I could be an Angel
This is how I died
Jumped and realized I cannot fly
(All along, I knew, my wings would give. I cut them too)
(I did it on purpose)
Can't you see?
The sight of my own blood,
It soothes me

God Almighty,
who the **** are you?
A savior who did not save me
You didn't even try
Just like my parents
"Oh, she's fine"
But now comes the day
Today they will have to say-
"Oh, she's dead"
I want to pound it into their ignorant heads
SHE'S DEAD SHE'S DEAD

Her own mind killed her
Now she's free
Somewhere floating in the sea
The sea of dead girls
Not above, but deep down below
Heaven would not take me
Ah...
Hello Hell,
I know you would come for me.

To take your own life is to sin
But how? Why? I did not win
The devil did
And I praised him
You kicked me out and he took me in
Wrapped me in razors
Swaddled me in sin

How does it feel
To be beaten at your own game?
You built me and I put you to shame
*******
You ignorant man
Save me? It appears as if you no longer can
This girl, she's dead
Burned deep down into the ground
Blood flows from me like a raging river

And then one minute
It's gone
Not a drop is left
I have been drained
Not a live nerve left to feel the pain
My blood is gone, just like me
Left somewhere floating in the sea
The sea of dead girls
Not above, but deep down below

I always knew I belonged in Hell.
Yelling at the TV feeling so small
Another loved one dead why don't you just take them all
one by one we die
but in support groups we cry we all have pain in life
but no one truly gets it at all I just sit so alone and small
everyone says I can come to them anytime
but it's not their problem they don't wanna here me whine
so I choose to sit and decay don't let anyone see me today I've buried myself in everything that's bad for my health  and I don't want them to be disgusted with me
so let me sit
let me rot
everyone's gonna die so why not me
just let the rest of my family be
please please please!
STOP STOP STOP
take me instead take me instead
if I had a choice she'd be alive and id be dead
I lost a loved one today and just having trouble accepting it so this is how I channeled everything...enjoy the people you have nothing in this life is promised
Why do I think everyone hates me?

my mind whispers: well, dear, you need to love yourself before you can think other people love you.
Someday, I will smile a genuine a smile,
A smile that will be pure, true and heartfelt.
I will wear it and travel miles and miles,
Wear off those in the past I felt.

Someday, I will be truly honest,
I will tell you how I really am.
That if back then you saw me at my ‘best,’
You’ll know I’m not really ******.

Someday, I will stop my hypocrisy,
And save myself from being a casualty.
Someday, I will be happy.
Someday, I will truly be happy
As my first post here, I'd wanted it to be kind of hopeful.
 Mar 2015 Jd Ferrarez
depraVed
Burning passion to boiling temper.

Raging fire to glowing ember.

More is less and less is plenty.

I'll have none and you'll take any.

Plumes of smoke, the fire dies.

Do not look at me with your lying eyes.

A thieving soul in lovers guise.

Petty heart and cruel intentions.

You'll receive pennance when it's given.

Until then leave me be.

Forever, an eternity.
 Mar 2015 Jd Ferrarez
Lahela
I will
 Mar 2015 Jd Ferrarez
Lahela
When you have those mornings
when you wake up and
you can't
love yourself,

I will love you.

When you have those afternoons where you cannot
hold
yourself
together,

I will hold you.

And when you have those nights where your thoughts take over
and they won't
go
away,
I will stay with you 'till the morning

And I
will
love you
all
over
again.
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