Coated in moonlight I take in your scent
The taste is sweet but the high is oppressive
My mind is haunted by the hollow embrace of your gaze
Swinging from hit to hit, always unbalanced
Your energy fuels my high and for a moment it all feels real
I want to stay in that feeling, building a log cabin in it’s lakeside shores
But far too soon I will be alone and realize my clock is bleeding
Last night’s residue lingers, the cold air tastes of honey and all at once I feel the need to *****
Struggling to accept my addiction, I say “I need to leave” as I relapse into your body
When you are away I am haunted by your pantomimed withdrawal.
I choke on the loss of productivity
High on you I feel sedentary in a galaxy of movement
Our finale, a supernova of light and lust shatters to drift alone and cold
I leave you behind, feeling a hunger to find a new drug with a different name

Eau de parfum

Top notes include

Remembering yourself
Feeling whole
Noose exchanged for
New sensations
Comfortable silence

Weather-able storms
Midnight cuddles
Dances to favorite songs

Middle Notes Include

Questioning your judgement
Tracking location
Locating peace of mind through
Stress
Password checks
Controlling the way you dress
Block them next
They're flirting.
Not your friend.

Base is comprised of

Gaslighting
Emptiness
Walls closing in
Toxic environment
Bruised chins
Lighting gas
Arson
Destruction of property
Assault
Verbal and mental anguish

This scent lasts 6 months to a lifetime

I still see your eyes,
At the cusp of every sunrise.
Vacant as the empty skies

Sometimes I see you wearing white
But who I see cannot be recognized
A twisted image of you imprinted on my mind
I never took the time to get to know you

But I like the image refracted in the mirror
I approach life without the searing pain of regret
Years go by
You drift from sight
But I don't need to go back and change that night

I find my closure in the night's sunrise
I always see your eyes
A poor imitation conjured by my mind.

I am a dichotomy
Caught between the best of me
And what feels like what’s left of me
After years of insecurity
I am caught in a dichotomy
Wondering if you’re using me
Or if you’ll set me free
I want to believe that you’re good for me but
I can only see the warning signs caught in between the breaths I meant to breathe
I am at war
I don’t know if I can count my trauma amongst the casualties
Or if they remain my true enemy
An enemy like darkness, like you, a vacuum which absorbs all light but the rays needed to illuminate your face
Because around you I am blind
Stumbling through broken words and empty lines
Searching for meaning with no concept of time
I am merely painting signs in the hopes that this time you’ll see
Because it’s too dark and the air around you is hard to breathe
But the pain is bittersweet
With each inhale brings recovery
And each exhale lets me find release
I am bound and I am free
I am confident and also weak
I am brave but I am cowardly
I am a dichotomy
Because within me lies more complexity
Then simple character traits which are assigned to me
I will not be chained to simplicity
Another nobody screaming into a void of uncertainty
Because I am a dichotomy
You cannot contain me
I defy reasoning
I have the power to unleash words like demons and in the same breath profess love and if you’re listening
You know that
I am more than a man, I am an idea
An idea that maybe the greatest power is found in dichotomy
A dichotomy like you and me
Through the darkness and the light we proceed
Because we were never one without the other
In this dichotomy we believe
In this prison we are free
Encaptured by the dichotomy of you and me.