Hello, darling,
I see your coat is ready
To be put back up on the rack
I decided to marry you
And now I know why.

Tired, darling?
I want to make dinner for you,
A wine and dine for the two of us
I hate to see you this tired
After a long day.

What is it, darling?
I know there's something on your chest
So please, get it off for me
Were we made for each other
For you to break this news to me?

Okay, darling,
I'll fix some supper
This leg of lamb could fit you nice
Swung into the air with my hands
And onto the back of your head.

All right.
So I've killed him.

I look at a blank canvas
Emptiness, it reads,
Exposed to absence.

I can't help but shudder
When I imagine my future
What am I doing with myself?
Am I what people expect of me?

I always feel tired,
Yet I seem restful
My problems are shoved
Under a black rug in space
And I feel like I carry guilt
Each and every single day.

I told her I wanted to run away
From all the drama and pain
I can't put it any other way
I'm looking for an escape with her.

She says,
There's nothing better than living
With the sound of love in your ears
Love is a fantasy
It grabs you like a palm tree,
Shakes you around
And throws your problems below the sea,
Leaving only ambition and happiness.

*Listen to the waves.

Through restless pupils,
I struggle for success
I bend over backwards
To try and be something—
What is that word to me?
Is it the answer to feeding myself
If I end up without a bright future?

I used to wonder what struggle was
As though my teachers
Didn't define it clearly enough
My mom explains to me,
Be something—don't settle
For the basics like I did.
I wonder if she bruised her nose
Searching inside thick textbooks,
Questioning what it would teach her
And where her future
Would be in twenty years
Did any teacher show her
How to pay her taxes
Or write cursive as beautiful
As she writes it today?

All I ever think about is
What topics I'll be forgetting next
And what grade I'll manage on the test
Maybe one day my children won't
Be forced by their teachers,
Who listen to a corrupted government,
To learn to hate the idea of learning.

The time is 5 a.m.,
Time for school,
I repeat.

A past weighed heavy on my chest
I took my chance,
I watched it burn
Out here I can cleanse my hands from its ashes
Awaiting your arrival
Follow the stream until you find me
Tell the others you've gone to sea...

Crimson leaves,
Falling.

Where did you come from, bright star?
What heaven did you leap from, dear love?
How can I spell your name
Without the sound of autumn
Underneath my tongue,
Without acknowledging the lovers who bent me in half
Bless them for bringing me to you
How can I say your name
Without also breathing the words
My god, I found you.
How can I ever speak again with this mouth
When it has found where it belongs
When you touch me, I am a bed of calla lilies
I will build a house and fill it with evergreens
I will paint sunsets on every wall
So you can only see beautiful things
How can I say love
Without wanting to fold myself into you
Like a thousand paper cranes?

Dear one,
I was halved the moment I was born
Either piece of me is inside of your mouth
And I was found whole the moment you spoke.

I look at my life
And see that without you
I have nothing
I could try a day or two,
Keep you off the mind--
But the weight would stay.

This is what you love to say.

I look at my life
And see that without you
I could be so much happier
I could stay in love with you,
Keep the feelings in tact--
But my heart will only stray.

This is what I refuse to say.

How come I find the worst in you
While you value the worst in me
Can you leave the light on outside
For me to find my way back home?
That's the way I do things now
I hope the bed is made
When I step inside
Can you promise me happiness?
Of course you can't,
Not when you haven't found it.