I'm having trouble getting out of bed lately.
It seems id rather dream because that's the only place i don't hate me.

Cynicism is my confucianism bury my coffin shallow so i can still fell the rain.

I can't stand the lack of pain.

If only I knew the price I'd pay
Living the same cycle day by day
The blood in my veins would soon run cold
The spark in my heart would abandon my soul
The comfort of my skin would wear away
The color of my city would turn to gray
The blood in my head would drain from my nose
Spending dime after dime left me out in the cold
If only I knew that I just had to try
Doses became higher
And so did I
Till I finally screamed, threw myself on the floor
I punched
I kicked
Couldn't take it anymore
Dose after dose
I couldn't see from my eyes
I laid on my back and looked up at the sky
If only I knew it was all part of the ride
Just a bunch of ****** up kids
With bloodshot eyes
Chasing our drinks instead of the sun
Only God knows the battle I've won.

I feel so pathetic at times like this
Eyes closed but mind wide open into the sharpened abyss
I see you passionately making love to another man
I see a silver engraved dagger shaking in my hands
I creep quietly through the room
Both of you know not of my existence
As you layed there before me
The knife glides right through him and into you
You don't even gasp its like you knew the fortune before the torment
its like i could understand what our clothes on the floor meant
i couldn't bare to see the sight i saw
As the words seep out through the wounds just underneath your jaw
There couldn't be any witnesses around to see
Me murderer the man i used to be

My life
Is a constant cycle
Of chasing sleep
And getting tripped
The moment I finally
Catch up.