I danced
And I jumped
I let the music take over my body
Like the alcohol had taken over theirs
I let the endorphins make me high
And I danced
Not caring if anybody was watching
I danced
As if music was a drug
And I was an addict

It feels like I’ve forgotten something
Like there is something I should go back and get
But the truth is that I lost something
And I’ll never find it
It won’t be in a lost-and-found
It won’t be anywhere
I lost
A piece of myself
And I’ll never get it back
Because the part of my life that piece lived in
It is over
And it can’t be repeated
*ever

I am afraid that no one will ever want me
Because as soon as they see her
They will bow at her feet
Overwhelmed by her perfection
I will become invisible
When her beauty shines so bright it blinds them
They will become deaf to my words
When they hear the angelic melody hers form
I will become a brick
When they touch the feathery silk that is her skin
I will become empty space
When she becomes their entire world
And I will be forced to smile and be happy
When she finds the love I’ve been craving for so long
I’ll have to
Because she,
She is my sister

I will take the knife you put in my back when I wasn’t looking
And push it through my flesh till it graces my heart
And nicks it just enough for the pain to come flooding out
Then I’ll paint you a portrait
Red with pain
And wrap it up with a bow on top
Because I would never forget your birthday
Or to congratulate you
As you grow one step closer to death
Because that is something that's actually worth celebrating

This is a time when
Words have lost their meaning
Jumbled together like a dismembered jigsaw puzzle
This is when
The melody in your head
has been replaced by noise
Nothing makes sense enough
To even be titled
As nonsense
This is when
lost
doesn't even begin to describe you

Will we know,
When we say goodbye,
That it is goodbye?
Or will it be just like any other day
Saying goodbye
Thinking I know
That I will see your face again
When I won’t
When I’ll never hear your voice again
And you’ll never hear mine
Will we know
When everything we are stops existing?
Will we know?

The grass is soft and green
But never green enough
Sitting by the fence
I am telling you
It is just
An optical
Illusion