You looked like a deer caught in headlights
Waiting for something to change
Even with the darkness surrounding you
There's light showing you the way.

I do not recall this bed
These arms I rest my soul in
Who is this heart lying next to me
What am I to them

What is my name?

The soft sheets tangle around my body
but I'm not comfortable
I'm panicked
My mind doesn't know this place of comfort
This place of unknown memories
sewn together with the soul next to me

I'm not aware
This place is home
And she is my love
But I'm losing my mind
                                          blink
                                                    by
                                                         *blink

I was so focused on loving you

that I didn't realize
                                        I wasn't loving myself

you weren't supposed to know
                                               I cried myself to sleep

you weren't supposed to know
                                               I hated every inch of me

you weren't supposed to know
                                               I like girls the same way you do


you weren't supposed to know
                                               I wanted to die too

my anxiety is a shadow man
he haunts my nights when I'm hallucinating
waits in the hallways
under my bed
in the darkness
reached out hand
he wants to take me


**he wants to destroy my sanity

a day of repeat
get up
dress
and question what to eat
procrastinate
feel useless
and watch people succeed on tv

My arms held you close
I looked deeply into your eyes
As if they were a vast ocean I couldn't understand
I studied every curve of your face
Knowing you be gone soon
The memory of your face will be hidden in this place
Just like the memories of us too