I am worried that I lost my Joy
my abundant happiness that poured
out from my soul
in the form of an infectious smile
that made me inexplicably me

I get more
"are you okay?" 's
than I do
"you look so happy"
or
"you have such a nice smile"

Was I just so innocent
that it was easy to keep smiling
was it easy to have hope in a future
because I believed it would be brighter than today
why cant I believe that anymore
why is it all so mundane
why don't I feel

I am no more
than champagne
laughing

They called me their friend
but then left me when they felt bored
when they couldn't use me
they stopped pretending

I was dispensable
I was unimportant

and that hurt more than I thought it could
I am fragile you see made of glass
I put my heart in each persons hand
I give them my all
because I don't half *** friendship
I took a risk
And it hurt me in the end
they hurt me
because they couldn't balance
my heart in their life
and it shattered on the floor
And they didn't care to pick up the pieces

I get embarrassed when you read my poems
And you know they're about you.
I get shy and nervous and scared you'll run away.
I don't have the words to say
How much I love you
But I try when I write to you
Things I think you'll never read
And then you see them and my head spins.

Is it too much? Can you love someone too much?
Is my love intimidating? Probably.
There's a lot of it to give.
But if it's intimidating to you then maybe
You don't deserve it.
Maybe

Are you overwhelmed by your love for me, too?

I asked myself
what is your biggest fear?
I heard myself reply
my biggest fear is
to be deeply known
but not loved deeply